Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

dalink

Offline (the 09/17/2014 at 10:00pm) | Search for a member

dalink

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3800
  • Number of comments : 140
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About dalink : PGY2... God help my patients.... And my interns.

Reading this on the wards... When I'm supposed to be involved in patient care.

Perpetually waiting for that next paycheck.

dalink's page activity

Visits<b>Oddire</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 5:19pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 6:44am<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 5:27pm<b>KennyBound</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 2:58pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 8:48am<b>IAmZim</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 9:52pm<b>pianotie</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 6:04pm<b>Miku01</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 8:13am<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 7:30am<b>Tobiaspe</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 3:34pm<b>EdenCrystal</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 7:35am<b>ericcrash</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 3:57am<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 7:09pm<b>peterson1515</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 11:45pm<b>LeeB</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 6:45pm<b>Flendre_scarlet</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 11:18am<b>JuzReading</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 12:26am<b>xAttackAttackx</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 7:29pm

dalink's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of dalink's badges

dalink's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML

#20982904
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48408) - you deserved it (8050)

On 12/06/2013 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by fuckadaisical (woman) - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, I was proud when I started a confrontation with my best friend's brother because he is a sexist pig who treats women like crap. Six hours later my pride was gone: I made him an after-sex sandwich. FML

#20975509
100 comments

Today, I'm staying with my in-laws. My husband is fighting with his dad, who's fighting with his brother-in-law, who's fighting with his wife. The only ones not fighting are my sister-in-law and her boyfriend, who're getting along great on a squeaky mattress in the room next to mine. FML

#20975413
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46272) - you deserved it (3630)

On 11/30/2013 at 12:58am - intimacy - by Thanksalot (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML

#20974515
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55929) - you deserved it (6063)

On 11/29/2013 at 6:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

#20972170
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30994) - you deserved it (14714)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my ex's mom got a job as our new soccer coach and recognized me from our New Year's party last year. She made me, and me alone, do 10 laps around the field in the rain for breaking her son's heart. FML

#20971434
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46832) - you deserved it (11436)

On 11/26/2013 at 3:00pm - love - by Amanda (woman) - United States

Today, my boss's obese bully of a grandson had a seizure. Being the only physician around, I had to rush in to tend to him. Except it wasn't a seizure as such. My daughter had found my taser and used it on him. FML

#20971381
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44819) - you deserved it (4725)

On 11/26/2013 at 2:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the grocery store, when a little boy looked up at me and asked if I was a prostitute. FML

#20970235
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42052) - you deserved it (12680)

On 11/25/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML

#20969751
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55020) - you deserved it (5812)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:22am - intimacy - by LadyLola (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I swallowed and nearly choked to death on the ring my boyfriend hid in my wine glass. It's still in me somewhere, and my doctor basically told me that I'll have to "keep an eye on things" if I want to find it. FML

#20967683
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44979) - you deserved it (5355)

On 11/23/2013 at 5:32am - love - by fecal romance (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML

#20965814
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43438) - you deserved it (2921)

On 11/21/2013 at 12:52pm - animals - by thatsnotacat - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML

#20963410
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55615) - you deserved it (8453)

On 11/19/2013 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by oops999 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom baked a cake for the whole family. One spent EpiPen later, I found out there were nuts in it, which I'm severely allergic to. My mom's defense was that she thought I'd have "gotten over" my allergy by now. FML

#20960004
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44792) - you deserved it (2720)

On 11/16/2013 at 4:40pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my wife and I were watching Killing Kennedy. Jokingly, I said, "Spoiler alert: he dies." She threw a book at me and won't talk to me. I think she's serious. FML

#20953867
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44946) - you deserved it (6909)

On 11/11/2013 at 12:20pm - misc - by Thomas - United States (Virginia)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: