Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

dalink

Search for a member

dalink

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3239
  • Number of comments : 140
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About dalink : Started internship... God help my patients.

Reading this on the wards... When I'm supposed to be involved in patient care.

Perpetually waiting for that next paycheck.

dalink's page activity

Visits<b>pianotie</b> - 8 hours ago<b>Miku01</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 8:13am<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 7:30am<b>Tobiaspe</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 3:34pm<b>EdenCrystal</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 7:35am<b>ericcrash</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 3:57am<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 7:09pm<b>peterson1515</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 11:45pm<b>LeeB</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 6:45pm<b>Flendre_scarlet</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 11:18am<b>JuzReading</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 12:26am<b>xAttackAttackx</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 7:29pm<b>emxy92</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 1:34am<b>DetroitDov</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 9:04pm<b>rustycage92</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 7:11pm<b>froggus</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 10:44pm<b>honeymoonroyale</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 5:18am<b>Trollx</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 3:59am

dalink's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of dalink's badges

dalink's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in a training about the newest changes in CPR. The trainer was discussing chest compression techniques and said she prefers "good, fast, hard pumping." I was the only one who snickered out loud, drawing several annoyed looks from the other trainees. I'm a 45-year-old doctor. FML

#20803758
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38124) - you deserved it (18199)

On 07/25/2013 at 11:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I came home to find that my mother had cleaned my room, and she'd done a very good job, too. So good in fact, that she even managed to remove all of the furniture, replacing it with a note that said, "It's time to go, sweetie XO". FML

#20802373
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45593) - you deserved it (7458)

On 07/25/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I walked into an elderly man's room in the hospital I work to give him his food. After he struggled to sit up, I noticed his hand move down towards his crotch. He looked me straight in the eye and said, "I have to do this to my scrotum because it gets sweaty and sticks to my leg." FML

Today, a drunk dude walked up to me and said, "You're ugly as fuck." His sober friend quickly apologized and explained that he was wasted, before looking me up and down and adding "Well, not completely, I guess." FML

#20801990
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45989) - you deserved it (3485)

On 07/24/2013 at 10:33pm - misc - by GeeThanks (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was going so slow in traffic that my GPS asked me if I wanted to switch to pedestrian mode. FML

#20801861
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42166) - you deserved it (7590)

On 07/24/2013 at 9:31pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to a dance and saw a really cute guy. Glow sticks were everywhere, so trying to be cute, I took a broken one and dripped some of the glowing liquid on my chest. It made him notice me, but only for him to point out that I'd managed to cut myself and was bleeding badly. FML

#20801095
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22286) - you deserved it (46623)

On 07/24/2013 at 12:05pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came back from vacation only to find my 16-year-old son was throwing a party with over 30 kids in our house. My 33-year-old sister was having fun dancing on a table. FML

Today, the doctor told my husband that he is infertile due to slow sperm. As if this is not upsetting enough, my husband blames it on me. According to him, his sperm doesn't get 'aroused' because I'm not sexy enough. FML

#20800901
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61382) - you deserved it (5338)

On 07/24/2013 at 7:50am - intimacy - by Iamdisappointed (woman) - Sweden (Dalarnas Lan)

Today, I learned that my wife used to strip while in college. I found this out when I brought her to a work party and my boss recognized her. FML

#20800769
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50506) - you deserved it (3852)

On 07/24/2013 at 3:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, we got a new employee at work. I said hi, and told her that if she needed help figuring out our computer system, then to give me a call. She promptly accused me of sexual harassment and filed a complaint against me. FML

Today, I caught my roommate pouring back his leftover milk from his cereal back into the jug to "save money." FML

#20799167
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44006) - you deserved it (3305)

On 07/23/2013 at 9:21am - misc - by why (man) -

Today, my doctor told me that I suffer from orgasm migraines. Basically, I get an intense migraine that lasts for hours after I have an orgasm. FML

#20798770
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67157) - you deserved it (3975)

On 07/23/2013 at 1:17am - intimacy - by amanda (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend got angry because I laughed when he asked me if he should retire from being a Pokemon Trainer. He was serious. He's also 21. FML

#20798065
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37787) - you deserved it (10378)

On 07/22/2013 at 6:14pm - love - by ihatepokemon (woman) - United States

Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML

#20796032
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60175) - you deserved it (4377)

On 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm - misc - by notenoughunderwearintheworld (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, my fiancé confronted me about our wedding arrangements. Apparently, if he's not allowed to wear a duct-tape tuxedo and have a Jesus impersonator as his best man, the wedding is off. FML



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: