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dakale69

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dakale69

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  • Number of visits : 52
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dakale69's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to my wife practising biting her lip in the mirror. Fuck you, Fifty Shades of Grey. FML

#20096658
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26585) - you deserved it (3492)

On 10/01/2012 at 11:02am - love - by fiftyno (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I stumbled across "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" on TV and realized that these awful freaks are going to make more money than I ever will. FML

#20070573
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24922) - you deserved it (2573)

On 09/13/2012 at 6:29pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up naked, duck taped to the wall with no memory of last night. FML

#19935617
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10143) - you deserved it (31499)

On 07/14/2012 at 1:49am - misc - by tapeissticky591 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920
217 comments

Today, my 18 year old son asked me to check if there were any monsters under his bed. FML

#18775724
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26688) - you deserved it (6822)

On 01/11/2012 at 3:08pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Arab Emirates

Today, my boyfriend changed his relationship status on Facebook to "Single" and his status to "I'm not kidding, leave your key on the counter." FML

#18763355
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36695) - you deserved it (3502)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:52am - love - by Janie (woman) - United States

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19972) - you deserved it (39263)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia

Today, I was sitting in my room while my mom was talking to my uncle. I had my door open. She said "Yeah my son doesn't know I have his phone password. Girls nowadays are real sluts." FML

#18051184
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27158) - you deserved it (7967)

On 10/23/2011 at 1:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the doctor for a physical. I've been sitting in the doctor's bathroom for 10 minutes now, trying to think of how to tell him I accidentally tripped and spilled my urine sample on the carpet. FML

#18030008
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25514) - you deserved it (4314)

On 10/20/2011 at 8:04am - health - by socal000 (man) - United States

Today, the creepy girl in my history class told me that she once spent a whole period doing nothing but counting the freckles on the right side of my face, and that I have more than she's ever seen before on anyone else combined. FML

#17712418
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29580) - you deserved it (2960)

On 09/10/2011 at 4:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML

#14120118
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12359) - you deserved it (81644)

On 12/07/2010 at 1:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got called a f***ing b**ch by one of my students. I teach kindergarten. FML

#10851356
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45082) - you deserved it (6558)

On 05/29/2010 at 10:36pm - work - by love_today - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was at my 10 year high school reunion. I saw the girl I used to have a BIG crush on, so I decided to go over and say hi. She screams when she sees me. Then, she starts hitting me, looking panicked. I control her and ask why she's hitting me. She says 'Everyone thought you were dead!' FML

#6753136
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36810) - you deserved it (2278)

On 12/14/2009 at 4:21pm - misc - by Ghost (man) - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML

#6712384
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14488) - you deserved it (35785)

On 12/11/2009 at 7:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I needed new business cards so I went to design and print some. After I designed, I was happy with them and printed off 100 copies. I live at a place called Canal Rocks. I forgot the 'C'. I now have 76 business cards which say 'anal rocks.' I already distributed 24. FML

#4678208
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16137) - you deserved it (44019)

On 08/20/2009 at 9:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)



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