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daisysmily's FML badges
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
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daisysmily's favorite FMLs
Today, I nervously flirted with a very cute guy. Being a little overweight, I rarely think cute guys will go for me. This line of thinking was yet again correct when he casually pulled his sleeve up revealing a tattoo of a pinup girl with a "NO FAT CHICKS" sign below it. FML
by nofatchicks / 05/12/2014 at 7:49pm / United States (Florida) / Love
by IBS / 05/06/2014 at 5:11am / China (Shanghai) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/25/2014 at 10:50pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
by brookenicolee29 / 01/26/2014 at 5:06pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
by honeybunny90 / 12/28/2013 at 3:23am / United States (Texas) / Animals
by Jen_NM / 12/16/2013 at 1:16pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 6-year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML
by john doe / 12/07/2013 at 12:29pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids
Today, my family and I finished moving to Texas. As if that isn't bad enough, I'll have to introduce myself all over again to everyone I meet and explain that yes, my parents really did name me Lilypad. FML
by Anonymous / 11/28/2013 at 11:53am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I finally password-protected my phone, to protect it from my friends' favorite game: stealing it and sending stupid texts, and hijacking my Facebook. They quickly found a new game. My phone is now locked for 24 hours due to too many attempts to guess the password. FML
by Anonymous / 11/25/2013 at 12:06pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I superglued the sole back into my shoe. Unfortunately, the glue didn't dry as quickly as it said it would on the bottle. The glue seeped through the sole and my foot got superglued to my shoe. FML
by footstuck / 11/13/2013 at 12:51pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by #isthisthepoundkey? / 11/01/2013 at 12:49pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML
by PapaW / 11/01/2013 at 3:01am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy
Today, I got home to the smell of permanent marker and the discovery that my roommate's little sister had drawn flower petals around every polka dot she could reach on my walls. I just put up the wallpaper last weekend. FML
by HGTV / 10/01/2013 at 2:43pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
by young grandpa / 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend threw out my old voicemail recorder, thinking it was junk. My father passed away years ago. I kept a recording of the last voicemail he'd left me on it so I'd always remember his voice. FML
by Upset / 06/10/2013 at 7:35pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, one of my most problematic students remained after class, whence he strongly insinuated his… Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having… Today, I was just taking a wank with my laptop on low battery. Almost finished when my laptop died.…