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daftPunKt

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daftPunKt
  • Town/Country : San Diego, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 300
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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daftPunKt's favorite FMLs

Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML

#20423578
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47750) - you deserved it (4523)

On 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better, I said that she looked small. She said "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML

#20417936
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14404) - you deserved it (33723)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML

#19509709
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23756) - you deserved it (10143)

On 04/22/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by ultraattitude - United States (California)

Today, during my first day as a doctor’s intern, I attended a consultation. The embarrassed patient asked me to leave. Not really knowing my way around, I went through the first door I could find. By the time I realized it was a closet, I didn’t dare come back out. Twenty minutes is a long time to wait. FML

#19490705
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22500) - you deserved it (4657) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/18/2012 at 4:41pm - work - by bibou2324 -

Today, I gave in and let my friend give me a makeover. She couldn't find my eyelash curler, but decided that if she used scissors lightly, it would work just the same. Needless to say, it did not work. FML

#19286759
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9345) - you deserved it (24733)

On 03/16/2012 at 1:11am - misc - by neveragain - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was preparing dinner for my in-laws for the first time. Nervous, I accidentally spilled the pasta into the sink. With nothing else to prepare, I quickly scooped it all back out. No-one would have been any the wiser, if the kitchen sponge hadn't shown up in the middle of the meal. FML

#19147436
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9527) - you deserved it (32991) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/23/2012 at 5:01pm - misc - by Laviolette - France

Today, my husband bleached his hair so, "our future kids will have blond hair too." I'm already married to this guy. FML

#18904697
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28302) - you deserved it (5456)

On 01/25/2012 at 1:23am - misc - by dragonmirado (woman) - China

Today, I heard someone calling my name. It was my neighbor. Turns out they named their dogs after my mother, my sister and me. FML

#18560105
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27129) - you deserved it (2920)

On 12/20/2011 at 6:49am - misc - by IHopeYourDogsGetDiarrheaAndPoopOnYourBed (woman) - Mauritius

Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML

#17848518
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41017) - you deserved it (3192)

On 09/27/2011 at 3:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went shopping for a nice outfit to wear for a job interview. A fake job interview. One that I just made up so my mother would get off my case about finding a job. I don't know which is sadder, the fact that I can't get a job, or that my mother actually believed me about the interview. FML

#15855932
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8699) - you deserved it (32934)

On 04/20/2011 at 5:27am - work - by oh hey there -

Today, I told my mother I have a girlfriend. Her first answer was "Does she know?" FML

#15655514
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33705) - you deserved it (4555)

On 04/05/2011 at 8:00pm - misc - by notacreeper -

Today, I went on a date with a man I met on Halloween. It appears that his mullet wasn't actually part of his costume. FML

#6133031
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15357) - you deserved it (5953)

On 11/03/2009 at 9:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I was sitting in a coffee shop when the weird guy who had been pacing the store talking to himself approached our table. He looked at me, and in all seriousness, said, "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your butt crack is showing." FML

#4089919
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13567) - you deserved it (39322)

On 07/27/2009 at 9:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was on the phone with my best guy friend, who I have loved for years. I was talking about school and all of a sudden he said "I love you." I flipped out saying "Oh my god, oh my god. I love you, too!" He responded with "what?" He was talking to his mom, who was walking out the door. FML

#2537729
405 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58017) - you deserved it (14579)

On 06/02/2009 at 4:51pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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