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About dafodil69 : savepandas increase the peace
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, when done feeding my newborn, I stated to my husband that I'm a cow. He said, in a sincere tone, "Oh, baby, you'll lose the weight soon." I meant cow because I'm producing so much milk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39657) - you deserved it (14419)
On 05/16/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by Heifer (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I called the guy I've liked for a long time and told him how I felt. He didn't say anything except for "hello." After I spilled my feelings, I hear "Haha, just kidding I'm not here right now! Call me back later!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (39934) - you deserved it (6004)
On 05/16/2009 at 5:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boyfriend and I were "fooling around." It started to get hot and he took out his penis for the first time. This was the first one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it. I had no idea what to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML
I agree, your life sucks (48745) - you deserved it (38220)
On 05/16/2009 at 1:44pm - intimacy - by madzlovesgee (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was at the doctor and I had to get a "finger stick" in the lab to get blood drawn. There was a 6 year old boy waiting to go next. He was terrified. His mother told him to "watch this brave girl go first." I panicked and began to hyperventilate. The boy fainted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37038) - you deserved it (6513)
On 05/16/2009 at 11:20am - misc - by bosssssssss765432 - United States (New York)
Today, a cab driver had to sign me out of the emergency room because I didn't know who else to call. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41813) - you deserved it (2760)
On 05/15/2009 at 12:35pm - health - by ccc (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I finally beat the song "Through the Fire and Flames" on Guitar Hero 3. I then realized that it was the biggest accomplishment I've ever made in my entire life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41407) - you deserved it (26841)
On 05/13/2009 at 6:20pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I woke up after a night of partying and went to the bathroom. That’s when I realized that after passing out with my shoes on last night, my friends decided use a black sharpie and play “connect the dots” with my acne. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33550) - you deserved it (14063)
On 05/13/2009 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (289248) - you deserved it (35518)
On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I went to a concert. They had this feature where you could send a picture of something from your cell phone and they'd put it on the big screens, so I sent a picture of myself in. When the picture came up on the screens, the entire crowd of about 4,000 people went, "Ewwww!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (59507) - you deserved it (19199)
On 04/26/2009 at 12:49pm - misc - by apparentlyugly (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I got kicked in the face at a soccer game. Everybody clapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54645) - you deserved it (6748)
On 04/26/2009 at 11:14am - misc - by Tal (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I pulled over to help a girl with her car. I thought my limited mechanic skills would help look like a hero. She only needed her coolant cap unscrewed. With top down, shirt off, I was confident as I got out of my car. 10 minutes later I left because I couldn't unscrew the f***ing thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8769) - you deserved it (43973)
On 04/23/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by edhalen (man) - United States
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (317536) - you deserved it (15420)
On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (293331) - you deserved it (57627)
On 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (349228) - you deserved it (23633)
On 02/13/2009 at 10:54am - intimacy - by The Sbeak (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (445993) - you deserved it (32709)
On 02/06/2009 at 10:29am - intimacy - by caroline (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
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