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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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daemani

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daemani
  • Town/Country : Whorlando, FL, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 4 October 1987 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 70586
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About daemani : In my free time, I enjoy being an asshole and chain smoking. And... all of my time is free time.

aim xdaemanix

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daemani's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

daemani's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into Jamba Juice like I do every day. I decided to order something different than I usually do, and was flattered when the cashier recognized me. Then he switched places with another employee, and from the back room I hear "Hey, ugly's back again." FML

#7426136 (60)

I agree, your life sucks (19985) - you deserved it (1743)

On 01/18/2010 at 8:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was vacuuming our house because I wanted to help my parents. I wore a headset while listening to REALLY loud music. The vacuuming job took me two hours and when I took of my headset I noticed that I hadn't started the vacuum cleaner. FML

#7415658 (208)

I agree, your life sucks (6251) - you deserved it (41132)

On 01/18/2010 at 6:01am - misc - by Adrian16 (man) - Norway (Vestfold)

Today, I signed up for a psych experiment. I was a damsel in distress on the side of the highway, but no one stopped. Back at the lab, another participant said a half dozen people helped her. The professor was testing how attractiveness effects altruism. I was the unattractive subject. FML

#6651455 (78)

I agree, your life sucks (25881) - you deserved it (2098)

On 12/07/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of 2 months has been faking his southern accent. FML

#6575339 (169)

I agree, your life sucks (23287) - you deserved it (6389)

On 12/02/2009 at 10:15pm - love - by wooed (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got back from a trip with a lady friend. I spent nearly a week's salary on a hotel, meals, gifts, tickets to show, and the like. As I drop her off at her place, she asks if I can let her out two doors down so her boyfriend wouldn't get mad. Hello, friend zone. FML

#6566272 (100)

I agree, your life sucks (22914) - you deserved it (6251)

On 12/02/2009 at 10:06am - misc - by jaynap - United States

Today, I complained to my boyfriend that I was stressed out. He asked me then "What do you have to be stressed out about?" I work 50 hours a week and go to school full time. I ask him what was stressful about his day, he told me that his "kill/death ratio went down on Call of Duty". FML

#6459212 (206)

I agree, your life sucks (23581) - you deserved it (5682)

On 11/26/2009 at 5:18am - love - by amy1023 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was told by my mother that the reason she quit her job as a counselor and divorced my dad was because she met someone through work. She works in a prison. FML

#6441636 (65)

I agree, your life sucks (21882) - you deserved it (1187)

On 11/25/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by CT (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I went on a date and it was going great. When we got our meals, he told me I had to try what he was having, and he fed me a bite. I said something like "oh that was cute" and he replied with "I was just trying to see how big your mouth is." FML

#6428684 (62)

I agree, your life sucks (18829) - you deserved it (2483)

On 11/23/2009 at 10:22pm - love - by OpenWide (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was really depressed so I talked on the phone with my best friend. She was telling me how a guy she really liked complimented her. I told her it was be nice to get at least one compliment. After a long silence she says, "You're really good with computers." FML

#6312385 (73)

I agree, your life sucks (19236) - you deserved it (3633)

On 11/15/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by Ugh (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, while going for my daily run, a woman stopped me and said, "I think it's so great that people of your size are comfortable enough to run and show their bodies in public." FML

#6163418 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (27374) - you deserved it (3407)

On 11/05/2009 at 2:41am - health - by FatRunner (woman) - New Zealand (Marlborough)

Today, I got to my apartment early after being out really late the night before. Maybe next time I should call ahead of time so that my roommate has time to sneak my girlfriend out of his bedroom. FML

#6116013 (78)

I agree, your life sucks (33749) - you deserved it (1815)

On 11/02/2009 at 6:05am - love - by ZPyRoGoDz (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was DJing for a church event where I was stationed in the middle and everyone was sitting behind me. I walked over to get something to drink and eat and come back with glaring looks. My screensaver had came on with pictures of my naked girlfriend. FML

#6108468 (99)

I agree, your life sucks (4687) - you deserved it (31212)

On 11/01/2009 at 8:22pm - misc - by terry (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a party with my girlfriend and this older guy came in and started talking to me about his rock climbing lessons earlier that week. I told him "I'm really drunk, so I really couldn't give a shit about what you did." It was my girlfriend's father picking her up to go home. FML

#4498593 (99)

I agree, your life sucks (6398) - you deserved it (48232)

On 08/13/2009 at 10:16am - misc - by drunkard (man) - Germany (Bayern)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that I was adopted, now my gay brother thinks it's acceptable to tell me that he's always wanted to have sex with me. FML

#4488799 (213)

I agree, your life sucks (77138) - you deserved it (3092)

On 08/12/2009 at 11:13pm - intimacy - by JPF (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, as a supervisor at a water park, several clients came up to me and complained about a topless girl in our wave pool. I found the girl, called her out, and politely told her that she was not allowed in the pool without a top. "She" was a fat 15 year old boy. FML

#4478498 (197)

I agree, your life sucks (42206) - you deserved it (5131)

On 08/12/2009 at 4:13pm - misc - by auslander (man) - Switzerland (Zurich)