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dablackswan

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dablackswan

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  • Number of visits : 1286
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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dablackswan's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:09pm<b>hollyay</b> - the 08/01/2009 at 3:42pm<b>innen2003</b> - the 07/12/2009 at 9:03am<b>DangerousBabee</b> - the 07/05/2009 at 11:43pm

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dablackswan's favorite FMLs

today we got ma broter a pet amster because e as trouble making friends. We tougt a amster would be a good way to teac im about caring fir oters. I walked into te room an te amster was anging from te ceiling. Turns out tere's a reason ma broter doesn't ave friends. FML

#2651635
479 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70862) - you deserved it (4852)

On 06/06/2009 at 1:51am - animals - by hamsterlovinn (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found the source of the bad smell that has been plaguing me for the past two weeks in mah apartment. The police knocked on mah door asking if I've seen mah neighbor recently. I haven't. The smell has been that of a dead person. It's a smell that even Febreze can't remove. mega FML

#2637433
432 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78760) - you deserved it (4733)

On 06/05/2009 at 5:42pm - health - by Michael (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

2day while laying out , I kept feeling something misty , like a spray bottle. Curious as to what it was since it kept coming , I looked up , only to see the painters were peeing over the side of the house , and the heavy breeze was turning there piss into a refreshing mist 4 me. FML

#2634152
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58767) - you deserved it (3644)

On 06/05/2009 at 3:47pm - misc - by layout (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

TODAY, I HAD A 3RD DATE WITH A GREAT GUY. OVER DINNER, HE TOLD ME THAT HE WANTED TO SEE MORE OF ME. WHEN I AGREED, HE PULLED OUT HIS SCHEDULE BOOK AND STARTED TO TELL ME HE WAS DATING 5 OTHER WOMEN BESIDES ME. HE THEN TOLD ME WAT WEEK IN THE ( ROTATION ) WOULD BE MINE. HE WASN'T KIDDING. FML

#2624413
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59095) - you deserved it (4261)

On 06/05/2009 at 3:49am - misc - by shescomfortablynumb (woman) - United States (Florida)

Taday I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler . I wantd to point out he was a very good speaker, and looool could incite a crowd . Instead,hat cummd out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

#2508726
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37149) - you deserved it (62529)

On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, it's mah brthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The frst one was mah fiancé, saying he wantd his ring back. The second one was mah best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with mah fiancé fir the past three months. The thrd was the dentist's office singing me a happy brthday. FML

#1930337
409 comments

I agree, your life sucks (374711) - you deserved it (19025)

On 05/14/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

2DAY I DISCOVARAD THA WORST POSSIBLA SITUATION INHICH TO GAT AXPLOSIVA DIARRHAA: ON A 9-HOUR TRANSATLANTIC FLIGHT. NAXT TO AN ATTRACTIVA SINGLA GUY. FML

#1094822
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64631) - you deserved it (3214)

On 04/18/2009 at 7:11pm - health - by crapgirl (woman) - United States (New York)

Today , I Was Packing My Son's Lunch And We Ran Out Of Water Bottles. I Askd My 16 Years Old To Run To The Store. She Didnt Want To But Gave Me One She Had. After Dropping My Son Off , My Daughter Frantically Told Me She Made A Mistake. I Sent My Second Grader To School With A Bottle Of Vodka. FML

#644123
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84269) - you deserved it (16747)

On 03/27/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by badmom (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was at a sandwich shop and couldn't help but secretly remove a loose hair from a grl standing in front of me. I yanked it and she instantly began screaming and crying. It was in fact a very long mole hair. The thing started bleeding like a gunshot wound. My apologies went unnoticed. FML

#532942
337 comments

Today... I woke up... completely nakd... in bd with a guy I met the night before. We were both drunk the night before an I had agred to go home with him. The reason I woke up was that someone was knocking on looool his bedroom door. Turns out he lives with his mom an she made us pancakes. real FML

#429248
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33161) - you deserved it (86698)

On 03/17/2009 at 11:15pm - intimacy - by Nikki (woman) - United States (Illinois)

my phone ranghile I was home alone. When I picked up , all I could hear was heavy breathing. Convinced it was one of mah friends playing a joke , I said loudly , ( Get off the phone , you fucker , and don't call back! ) It turned out it was mah grandma. She had been having a stroke. real FML

#386198
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39674) - you deserved it (86233)

On 03/16/2009 at 5:01pm - misc - by badgrandchild - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML

#185544
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73054) - you deserved it (15816)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:51pm - love - by ohmygoodness (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Taday I stopped at a lemonade stand on mah way to work. A cute little girl handed me a mouthwash-sized cup of juice... an her adorable little brother told me it would be $.25. All I had was a $20. He shoved it into his overalls pocket... looked up with huge brown eyes an just said ( Thank you. ) mega FML

#122747
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19627) - you deserved it (51305)

On 02/24/2009 at 12:47pm - kids - by ripdivine (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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