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d_clausen's favorite FMLs

Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36062) - you deserved it (12667)

On 02/27/2014 at 6:59am - work - by doodler - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML


I agree, your life sucks (57110) - you deserved it (20218)

On 02/07/2014 at 9:18am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (Iowa)

Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough, my mom decided to shout, "Yeah! Like a horse!" I want to cry. FML


I agree, your life sucks (63206) - you deserved it (5624)

On 01/15/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by DisturbedMan (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. I accidentally reversed while still in the driveway, and I instinctively hit the brakes. In my panic, I accidentally let go of the brakes, and ended up reversing straight into our house, all while my father yelled "NOOOOOO!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (40507) - you deserved it (17871)

On 01/02/2014 at 4:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I took my new girlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffee when my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of my girlfriend's nose. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35160) - you deserved it (4865) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by jay ze punk - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML


I agree, your life sucks (15568) - you deserved it (93481)

On 06/20/2009 at 7:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland (Bern)

Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML


I agree, your life sucks (90050) - you deserved it (33554)

On 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

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