d4nc3r

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d4nc3r

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2743
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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d4nc3r's page activity

Visits<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 4:36am

d4nc3r's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

d4nc3r's favorite FMLs

Today, I was eating some left over Easter peanut MandMs at work, when I exclaimed "oh cool, they have E's on them for Easter". It took me a couple of minutes, but I eventually realized that I was looking at a regular MandM sideways. Definitely explains my coworkers' uncontrollable laughter. FML

by StewPit / 04/16/2009 at 3:44pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a bar with two guys I was interested in. The first I'd been trying to go out with all semester. The second I had gone to dinner with and he seemed nice. I was the designated driver. They drank too much and, on the way home, hooked up in the back seat. FML

by sad_gay / 04/16/2009 at 4:40am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I had a bunch of parties while my parents were out of town. I made sure to clean up absolutely everything, I even vacuumed the stairs. As they pulled up, I noticed all of the trash bags filled with beer cans blocking their way into the garage. FML

by blah / 04/10/2009 at 6:17am / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was cutting a bagel, only to slice the back of my hand with the knife. As I grabbed paper towels to clean up the blood, I noticed that the bagel was pre-sliced. FML

by IHateBagels / 03/22/2009 at 2:43pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my girlfriend when she would give me a blowjob. She replied, "you know that won't happen, I'm a vegetarian." FML

by Sal / 03/03/2009 at 1:29pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML

by Noname / 02/24/2009 at 8:20pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my lesbian sister enthusiastically showed me her new strap on. Not only does she get more girls than me, she now has a bigger penis too. FML

by stillsingleladies / 02/17/2009 at 10:27am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML

by PlayTag / 02/04/2009 at 7:58pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I received a text message from my older brother. It said, "Ah... I want you". I hope to god it was intended for someone else. FML

by Ren / 01/30/2009 at 10:50am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I have an auto immune disease which causes my penis to look like a tie-dye t shirt. FML

by Damm / 01/24/2009 at 2:05pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I was baby-sitting four rather noisy and rowdy kids. After a two hour struggle, I finally manage to get them into bed. I then ask them what they want before going to sleep, and the eldest replies: "Can you tell us a story where you die at the end?" FML

by Hellau / 12/29/2008 at 5:56am / Kids