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d4nc3r

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d4nc3r

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  • Number of visits : 1945
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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d4nc3r's favorite FMLs

Today, I was eating some left over Easter peanut MandMs at work, when I exclaimed "oh cool, they have E's on them for Easter". It took me a couple of minutes, but I eventually realized that I was looking at a regular MandM sideways. Definitely explains my coworkers' uncontrollable laughter. FML

#1023184
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12464) - you deserved it (69240)

On 04/16/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by StewPit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to a bar with two guys I was interested in. The first I'd been trying to go out with all semester. The second I had gone to dinner with and he seemed nice. I was the designated driver. They drank too much and, on the way home, hooked up in the back seat. FML

#1014149
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98658) - you deserved it (15014)

On 04/16/2009 at 4:40am - intimacy - by sad_gay (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had a bunch of parties while my parents were out of town. I made sure to clean up absolutely everything, I even vacuumed the stairs. As they pulled up, I noticed all of the trash bags filled with beer cans blocking their way into the garage. FML

#898279
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7715) - you deserved it (73512)

On 04/10/2009 at 6:17am - misc - by blah (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was cutting a bagel, only to slice the back of my hand with the knife. As I grabbed paper towels to clean up the blood, I noticed that the bagel was pre-sliced. FML

#531777
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28271) - you deserved it (76220)

On 03/22/2009 at 2:43pm - health - by IHateBagels (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my girlfriend when she would give me a blowjob. She replied, "you know that won't happen, I'm a vegetarian." FML

#195442
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63516) - you deserved it (28420)

On 03/03/2009 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by Sal (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML

#126669
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (122194) - you deserved it (22184)

On 02/24/2009 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my lesbian sister enthusiastically showed me her new strap on. Not only does she get more girls than me, she now has a bigger penis too. FML

#60108
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65996) - you deserved it (5131)

On 02/17/2009 at 10:27am - misc - by stillsingleladies (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML

#8816
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47735) - you deserved it (16896)

On 02/04/2009 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by PlayTag (man) - United States (California)

Today, I received a text message from my older brother. It said, "Ah... I want you". I hope to god it was intended for someone else. FML

#3715
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25803) - you deserved it (1689)

On 01/30/2009 at 10:50am - misc - by Ren - United States (Illinois)

Today, I have an auto immune disease which causes my penis to look like a tie-dye t shirt. FML

#2444
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30896) - you deserved it (2249)

On 01/24/2009 at 2:05pm - health - by Damm - United States (New York)

Today, I was baby-sitting four rather noisy and rowdy kids. After a two hour struggle, I finally manage to get them into bed. I then ask them what they want before going to sleep, and the eldest replies: "Can you tell us a story where you die at the end?" FML

#624
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29288) - you deserved it (2595)

On 12/29/2008 at 5:56am - kids - by Hellau - Sent from mobile version



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