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d4nc3r

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d4nc3r

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  • Number of visits : 1902
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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d4nc3r's favorite FMLs

Today, I watched a stray dog hump a garden gnome in my front yard. So did my two year old daughter. I've already had to stop her "re-enactments" twice. FML

#11806163
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33251) - you deserved it (4300)

On 07/11/2010 at 4:05am - intimacy - by awkwardsituation - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that my mom is not only reading my mail, but she is also withholding letters from my bank, college, and insurance company. Why? Because "they could be inappropriate" for me to read. I'm 25. FML

Today, I found out that my mom is not only reading my mail, but she is also withholding letters from my bank, college, and insurance company. Why? Because "they could be inappropriate" for me to read. I'm 25. FML

Today, I reached a new low and embarrased my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML

#8719561
451 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7208) - you deserved it (53415)

On 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I drunkenly hooked up with my friend's cousin. After trying to stick his finger up my butt, he blacked out on top of me with his penis still hard inside me. I tried yelling his name and pushing him off, with no success. I ended up having to call my friend to help me. FML

Today, I grounded my daughter for putting play doh in the toaster. She's 17 and got into Columbia early admissions. FML

#8432968
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25651) - you deserved it (4504)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:18am - misc - by grrrrrr (man) - United States (New York)

Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom walked over to the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML

#8354648
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29475) - you deserved it (2211)

On 02/16/2010 at 9:54pm - misc - by batter--up (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mom and I went to the mall to look for some boxer briefs. While looking, I saw two girls I knew from school, so I went over to say hello. At least, that was my plan, but my mom screamed, "Look! These have dinosaurs on them!" They left the store giggling. FML

#7939467
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25009) - you deserved it (4839)

On 02/06/2010 at 3:01pm - misc - by dinosaurboy (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after having been a vegetarian for 8 years because I'm opposed to cruelty to animals, I lost a bet and had to eat a whole cheeseburger. I loved it. FML

#7666116
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10404) - you deserved it (51713)

On 01/29/2010 at 2:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after having been a vegetarian for 8 years because I'm opposed to cruelty to animals, I lost a bet and had to eat a whole cheeseburger. I loved it. FML

#7666116
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10404) - you deserved it (51713)

On 01/29/2010 at 2:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, as I walked into my class, someone shouted at me, "Wild Snorlax Appeared! Use Your Ultra Balls!", since I am overweight and everyone in class laughed at me. I got made fun of by Pokémon nerds. FML

#7442333
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34582) - you deserved it (7372)

On 01/19/2010 at 7:03pm - misc - by snorlax (man) - United States (California)

Today, after breaking up with my girlfriend of two years over the phone, I recieved a knock on my door. It was my now ex-girlfriend who came to seek revenge by shooting me in the balls with a paintball gun at about a three foot range. FML

#6994925
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15473) - you deserved it (50522)

On 12/28/2009 at 3:41pm - love - by lovehurts (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up after drunkenly hooking up with a girl who was really into Twilight. I felt bruises on the lower end of my neck and so I went to the mirror and checked it out. She bit me, 5 times. FML

#6392894
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12576) - you deserved it (34150)

On 11/21/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by jibberish (man) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a squirrel beside a tree. Thinking it was cute, I stepped closer, picked up a pine cone and tried to lure it to come closer. After about two minutes of silently squatting on someone's lawn holding a pine cone, I realized the squirrel was dead. FML

#6391764
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23334) - you deserved it (13624)

On 11/21/2009 at 6:02pm - animals - by eyesightfail (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I asked my boss a simple question about a problem I was having with a project I am currently doing. He replied: ''You don't worry your sweet little ass about it babe". My boss is my girlfriend's father. Nice. FML

#6353474
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26972) - you deserved it (2763)

On 11/18/2009 at 11:45am - work - by GiWi (man) - Ireland (Cork)



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