cynide

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cynide

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1458
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About cynide : 69

cynide's page activity

Visits<b>saxaddict122</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 1:42pm<b>nataliewby</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 3:15pm<b>happysmile987</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 2:19pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 7:10am<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 1:22pm<b>stylesrepublic</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 1:41pm<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 5:10pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 12:35pm<b>Bafrinn</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 1:10pm<b>maxinator5000</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 9:15pm<b>RMoreNY</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 8:59pm

cynide's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of cynide's badges

cynide's favorite FMLs

Today, my football coach thought it would be a good idea to get drunk, run to the other sideline, and scream, "WELCOME TO SPARTA, BITCH!" This would've been funny if he weren't also my dad. FML

by spartanson / 04/28/2011 at 6:28am / Miscellaneous

Today, a kid with severe Down's came into my workplace, as he does every day. He's has an obsession with me, sitting at a table, staring and taking photos of me all day. His parents have no problem with this, because they think it's a miracle that he can focus so much attention on me for so long. FML

by notimpressed / 04/26/2011 at 3:25pm / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML

by parentof5 / 04/23/2011 at 11:20am / United States / Kids

Today, I woke up with my eye swollen half shut. To spare the embarrassment, I asked my mom if I could stay home from school. She said no, but also attempted to make me feel better by saying that with my eye, my acne was unnoticeable. FML

by madi / 04/15/2011 at 3:13pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I found my dead phone that had been missing for two weeks. I turned it on to see that I had only gotten 2 text messages during the two weeks. They were both from my mother. FML

by Anonymous / 04/15/2011 at 2:57am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm / Animals

Today, I saw my unemployed 29-year-old son, who still lives with us, reading the work section of the newspaper and prayed that he was looking for a job. He was looking for the comics. FML

by JT / 04/12/2011 at 10:19am / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

by Anonymous / 03/03/2011 at 6:22am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I found out that my current girlfriend has dated all of my friends at one time or another. FML

by Anonymous / 10/09/2010 at 12:06am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I finally had the confidence to show my girlfriend my hairy chest/stomach. I'm very self conscious about it, and get embarrassed easily. She said I looked disgusting, called me Chewbacca and broke up with me on the spot. FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2010 at 5:26am / Vietnam (Ha Noi) / Love

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

by fartwoman / 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was sitting in a coffee shop when the weird guy who had been pacing the store talking to himself approached our table. He looked at me, and in all seriousness, said, "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your butt crack is showing." FML

by Anonymous / 07/27/2009 at 9:20pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home from work and went to open the door. I Iooked in the window and saw a man in my house. Terrified, I called the police. They came, searched the house, and found nothing missing. I went back inside and looked through the window and saw him again. It was my reflection. FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2009 at 7:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was eating some left over Easter peanut MandMs at work, when I exclaimed "oh cool, they have E's on them for Easter". It took me a couple of minutes, but I eventually realized that I was looking at a regular MandM sideways. Definitely explains my coworkers' uncontrollable laughter. FML

by StewPit / 04/16/2009 at 3:44pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

by Tourist / 03/26/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous