Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cynide

Search for a member

cynide
  • Town/Country : Suffuck, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 355
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About cynide : 69

cynide's last visitors

Bafrinnmaxinator5000RMoreNY

cynide's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of cynide's badges

cynide's favorite FMLs

Today, I jokingly told my girlfriend that sperm kills acne, she laughed and said "so that's how you got rid of yours so fast" then continued to text all her friends and tell them. FML

#16957068
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13252) - you deserved it (41469)

On 07/03/2011 at 1:51am - intimacy - by fmylife7721 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML

#16879378
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58179) - you deserved it (7218)

On 06/27/2011 at 9:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out my dad thinks he's famous because he's been on 'Cops', twice. FML

#16814483
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36737) - you deserved it (521)

On 06/23/2011 at 10:19am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I ruined my computer screen trying to kill a fly. FML

#16644081
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9347) - you deserved it (33911)

On 06/13/2011 at 12:37pm - misc - by failure461 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was stuck in stand-still traffic for 5 minutes, before realizing I had stopped behind a parked car. FML

#16624894
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10870) - you deserved it (51133)

On 06/12/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by El Stupido - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex in his car. He got out of the car and moved to the passenger seat with me. As he shut the door, it slammed against my fingers, breaking one of them. He then asked if we could still have sex. FML

#16530015
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40722) - you deserved it (6306)

On 06/06/2011 at 1:20pm - intimacy - by JayFri - United States

Today, I changed the date of my birthday to today on Facebook to see how many people actually know my birthday. My mom wished me a happy birthday. FML

#16527718
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40607) - you deserved it (13719)

On 06/06/2011 at 9:50am - misc - by Jake Whitte - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend and I went shooting. While I was showing him how to properly hold and adjust a rifle, he accidentally pulled the trigger. The gun kicked back and hit me in the face, breaking my nose. FML

#16467969
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29052) - you deserved it (9248)

On 06/02/2011 at 1:32pm - health - by raebelle - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me I looked pretty. I said, "Aww, that's the first time you've said that to me." He replied, "Well, it's the first time you've looked pretty." FML

#16341966
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44152) - you deserved it (8673)

On 05/25/2011 at 12:06pm - love - by Username - United States (California)

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML

#16339516
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49542) - you deserved it (16934)

On 05/25/2011 at 4:23am - intimacy - by katie -

Today, my husband and I had just got over a big argument, and I asked him to cut me some cucumbers for my eyes to help me relax. I was laying down, eyed closed, and he set them on my eyes. They weren't cucumbers, they were lemons. FML

#16304417
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19653) - you deserved it (40029)

On 05/22/2011 at 9:58pm - misc - by lemonhead -

Today, I told my kids that our family dog was getting too fat and we should give him a little less food. My youngest daughter whispered to her sister, "Mommy's fat and we still give her food." FML

#16303976
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29827) - you deserved it (17343)

On 05/22/2011 at 9:33pm - kids - by Fatty1970 - United States (Florida)

Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML

#16299538
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31247) - you deserved it (4718)

On 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my family went to Seaworld. When we got there, my dad sarcastically told me not to get lost, because I might get mistaken for Shamu. FML

#16255718
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33144) - you deserved it (6991)

On 05/19/2011 at 6:46pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, my friends were making fun of my clumsiness. I replied that I was not clumsy, and to prove it I was going to go the whole day without messing up. As I said this, I tripped over an extension cord and hit my head on a desk. FML

#16219785
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24043) - you deserved it (9631)

On 05/17/2011 at 9:05am - misc - by SexyQueen0905 -



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: