Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cynide

Search for a member

cynide

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 770
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About cynide : 69

cynide's page activity

Visits<b>stylesrepublic</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 1:41pm<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 5:10pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 12:35pm<b>Bafrinn</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 1:10pm<b>maxinator5000</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 9:15pm<b>RMoreNY</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 8:59pm

cynide's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of cynide's badges

cynide's favorite FMLs

Today, the woman I'm training at work asked, while staring intently at the keyboard, "now, which one of these buttons is the space-bar again?" She is 80 years old, types about 1 word per minute, and I have just one week to get her completely trained. FML

#17376704
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28226) - you deserved it (2522)

On 08/05/2011 at 10:42am - work - by jhftrainer23 - United States (Iowa)

Today, I discovered that airbags aren't nearly as comfy as they look. FML

#17375706
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22906) - you deserved it (3981)

On 08/05/2011 at 5:57am - health - by jbthedude - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, my mom decided to take away my TV after noticing that I watch the show True Blood. Apparently, since I watch this, I must be "curious about sex." I'm 19. FML

#17283905
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38794) - you deserved it (4902)

On 07/28/2011 at 5:11am - intimacy - by Shelbitchh - United States

Today, a bunch of guys at work chased me down a corridor with a Febreze spray for smelling like I'd been "sleeping in a hollowed-out horse's carcass" and having "the personal hygiene of a billy goat." FML

#17283766
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9188) - you deserved it (51285)

On 07/28/2011 at 4:15am - work - by Champion the wonder horse - United States

Today, after babysitting, the parents actually tried to pay me in Trident Layers Gum. FML

#17207993
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44400) - you deserved it (4691)

On 07/21/2011 at 8:20pm - money - by iwantmoney - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was given a DUI while in the Whataburger drive thru. FML

#17139539
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10910) - you deserved it (41528)

On 07/16/2011 at 7:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

#17113139
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14906) - you deserved it (64504)

On 07/14/2011 at 9:51pm - kids - by anon (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was playing my guitar outside my apartment building, and some people had put some money in my guitar case. One guy threw in what I thought was a crumpled piece of paper or something. It was actually a used condom. It leaked all over the money and my case. FML

#17112659
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42138) - you deserved it (4531)

On 07/14/2011 at 9:09pm - intimacy - by gross - Canada

Today, I got into my first car accident. I side swiped the truck next to me merging into another lane. He was in my blind spot. It was a cop. FML

#17112107
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23102) - you deserved it (12714)

On 07/14/2011 at 8:28pm - misc - by bym5052 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I awoke to banging at my door. It was my neighbor, accusing me of stealing her mail to spy on her, because apparently she thinks I must be some sort of secret agent. The cops don't believe me when I call, and she won't go away. FML

#17093832
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27420) - you deserved it (2408)

On 07/13/2011 at 12:26pm - misc - by MIB (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I awoke to banging at my door. It was my neighbor, accusing me of stealing her mail to spy on her, because apparently she thinks I must be some sort of secret agent. The cops don't believe me when I call, and she won't go away. FML

#17093832
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27420) - you deserved it (2408)

On 07/13/2011 at 12:26pm - misc - by MIB (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was walking down the street hand in hand with my girlfriend. I couldn't help but stare at a gorgeous girl as she bent down to pick something up. It was such a great sight, I didn't notice the metal telephone pole directly in my path. FML

#17094031
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10140) - you deserved it (92222)

On 07/13/2011 at 12:02pm - misc - by sorehead (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, trying to make a good impression and be helpful, I volunteered to look after my manager's cat while she moves house. The cat hasn't stopped meowing since he got here this evening, it's now 4 am and I have work in the morning. FML

#17064042
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22575) - you deserved it (6151)

On 07/11/2011 at 6:53am - work - by leahneedssleep (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at work, I told a lady checking out to sign her name after sliding her credit card. After she started signing her name, she threw the pen down in frustration saying that the pen was out of ink. We use electronic pin pads. FML

#17057819
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26477) - you deserved it (2376)

On 07/10/2011 at 9:13pm - work - by asianjoe (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because apparently my mom hates him and doesn't want us to be together. My mom died six years ago. FML

#17019799
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45541) - you deserved it (2872)

On 07/07/2011 at 9:28pm - love - by anonbob (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: