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cynide

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cynide

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 723
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About cynide : 69

cynide's page activity

Visits<b>stylesrepublic</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 1:41pm<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 5:10pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 12:35pm<b>Bafrinn</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 1:10pm<b>maxinator5000</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 9:15pm<b>RMoreNY</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 8:59pm

cynide's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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cynide's favorite FMLs

Today, a radio show asked the question, "Where does the dentist live in Finding Nemo?" I called in and got through. When he asked me the question, instead of the actual answer I quickly gave out my own address over live radio. FML

#20939023
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36598) - you deserved it (17410)

On 10/30/2013 at 11:58am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I tried on a new perfume. When my boyfriend hugged me, he commented that I smelled like his mom. I don't know who was more surprised by the simultaneous bulge in his pants. FML

#20668540
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56390) - you deserved it (4771)

On 05/17/2013 at 3:21am - intimacy - by Uncomfortable (woman) -

Today, my family and friends decided to throw a surprise party for my 16th birthday. I was so surprised that the shortness of breath triggered a serious asthma attack. FML

#20668366
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41505) - you deserved it (3490)

On 05/17/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by presente13 (woman) - United States

Today, my virginal girlfriend of a year graduated from veterinary school. She can shove her arm shoulder-deep up a cow's ass without blinking, but still feels too insecure to even touch my penis. FML

#20596452
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68687) - you deserved it (17871)

On 04/16/2013 at 1:44pm - intimacy - by Gurior - Canada

Today, I walked into my dad straightening my dog's fur. His excuse? The dog needed to feel pretty. FML

#20513110
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29746) - you deserved it (4018)

On 02/19/2013 at 2:01am - animals - by xtammyle - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I decided to change my hair color. After waiting in anticipation, I took a shower to rinse out the dye and reveal my new, blue hair. Rinsing revealed not only blue hair, but blue skin caused by the watered dye running over my body. I now look like a smurf, and it's not coming out. FML

#20480724
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17648) - you deserved it (38209)

On 01/27/2013 at 1:10am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML

#20480710
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29910) - you deserved it (3458)

On 01/27/2013 at 1:03am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML

#20480699
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31958) - you deserved it (3327)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:57am - love - by pdub523 - United States (Texas)

Today, my drunk boyfriend decided to try to serenade me by throwing rocks at my window and singing a song about how much he loves me. This would have been extremely sweet if he would have gotten my window instead of my dad's. FML

#20050638
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20468) - you deserved it (1941)

On 08/31/2012 at 6:16am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I walked into the Macy's bathroom to find Santa taking a dump with the door open. Merry Christmas. FML

#18490910
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25213) - you deserved it (2424)

On 12/12/2011 at 12:15am - misc - by tishihish - United States

Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

#18404973
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40020) - you deserved it (9438)

On 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by pops up - United States (Missouri)

Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML

#18234448
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41445) - you deserved it (7189)

On 11/13/2011 at 1:53am - kids - by weswithaute - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I started my first day working at a toddler day care center. At one point I decided to play "got your nose" with one of the kids. It turns out this kid has a physical birth abnormality on his face. I got his nose... his prosthetic nose. FML

#17629318
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41372) - you deserved it (11605)

On 08/31/2011 at 12:04pm - kids - by MJjunior (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

#17556947
404 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31137) - you deserved it (5788)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States

Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML

#17391065
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35084) - you deserved it (10008)

On 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States



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