Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cynicalforlife

Search for a member

cynicalforlife

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 191
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cynicalforlife : I'm alive.

cynicalforlife's page activity

Visits<b>ex_omer</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 3:56pm<b>jellybeens</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 1:39am<b>barak263</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 7:15am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 8:00pm<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 2:00am<b>hope1103</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 10:16am<b>ComaWhiteLove</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 2:46am<b>jdeezy01</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 1:24pm<b>onlychildFTW</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 2:04pm

cynicalforlife's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of cynicalforlife's badges

cynicalforlife's favorite FMLs

Today, my neighbor called the police for the seventh time because he's convinced I'm a vampire. He's also gotten in the habit of leaving garlic cloves in my yard. My parents come next week. FML

#21095586
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37167) - you deserved it (2848)

On 03/24/2014 at 9:52pm - misc - by Vampprobs - United States (Michigan)

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML

#21073315
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25306) - you deserved it (55521)

On 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm - misc - by well SHIT (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was grading work my students had done with a sub. I realized one student had gotten hold of the teachers' edition of the textbook when I read ten papers in a row that had "Student answers may vary" as the answer to problem number four. My students can't even cheat properly. FML

#21061154
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50984) - you deserved it (5070)

On 02/15/2014 at 2:11am - work - by chinaski7628 - United States (California)

Today, my son was playing The Sims, when I saw him remove the door to a room and set it on fire with a Sim trapped inside. I chuckled at first, until I saw that the Sim was me. Meanwhile, my wife's Sim was happily painting in the next room, not giving a crap. All too accurate, sadly. FML

#21015673
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46120) - you deserved it (4957)

On 01/03/2014 at 4:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I have to take time off from work to take part in an intervention because my sister's obsession with the guy from Harry Potter has crossed over into illegality. FML

#21009908
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38441) - you deserved it (3044)

On 12/29/2013 at 11:23pm - misc - by LeaveHimAlone (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my mum and I were referred to as "ladies". I'm happy for her, since she always complains about looking masculine. However, I would still like to be called a gentleman, seeing as how I am one. FML

#21000124
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40082) - you deserved it (3219)

On 12/21/2013 at 11:58am - misc - by FML (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48740) - you deserved it (6372)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my gran came over for dinner, for which I had to go grab some supplies from the supermarket. I guess I should have locked my laptop, because when I came back, I found my gran had used my Facebook account to propose to my now-ecstatic girlfriend. FML

#20897003
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42096) - you deserved it (5715)

On 09/26/2013 at 4:36pm - love - by my gran is a cuntwaffle (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I won a year's supply of bath bombs in a competition. I live in a tiny flat by myself with only a shower. I also have to find somewhere to put the bath bombs. FML

#20836641
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35011) - you deserved it (5583)

On 08/14/2013 at 3:13am - misc - by KnowWhereYourTowelIs (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, my coworkers glued pairs of different sized googly eyes all over my office equipment, seconds before an important client arrived. FML

#20788188
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44700) - you deserved it (3744)

On 07/17/2013 at 10:55am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my neighbors called the police and said that they saw, through the window, a suspicious person in my house doing something to my piano. The "suspicious person" was me, in my own house, playing my own piano. FML

#20678725
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42327) - you deserved it (2471)

On 05/21/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by pianoplayer (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I saw a coin on the ground. As I bent over to pick it up, some dude came up from behind, grabbed my waist and humped me three times. He ran away before I could get a good look at his face. FML

#20664572
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50936) - you deserved it (8859)

On 05/15/2013 at 4:08am - misc - by asdffhhjk (man) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, my boyfriend made me play Slender. I was so terrified, I stopped playing 10 minutes in. Tonight, I kept hearing noises outside. When I peered out through the window, a bald figure in a suit was staring back at me. I shrieked in absolute terror; he burst out laughing. It was my boyfriend. FML

#20520443
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33148) - you deserved it (4964)

On 02/24/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by stillfuckingcrying (woman) - Sweden (Kalmar Lan)

Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML

#20440419
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33024) - you deserved it (2975)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:35am - misc - by Dimples (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, at a restaurant, I happily watched as my boyfriend of three years got down on his knees and proposed to me. Before I could say yes and hug him, a girl flung herself at him, kissed him and shouted, "Yes!" With us still highly confused, she then ran away. FML

#20431269
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44304) - you deserved it (3446)

On 12/30/2012 at 1:29am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: