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cyhewit

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cyhewit

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cyhewit's favorite FMLs

TODAY, I SPRAYED DOWN SOME ANTS IN MY HOUSE. IN THE SEA OF ANT CORPSE WAS A SINGLE LIVING ANT SEEMINGLY CRADLING A DEAD ONE IN ITS ARMS. I'M CONVINCED I JUST BECAME THE VILLAIN IN AN EPIC TRAGEDY. NOW I HAVE TO LIVE WITH MY ANT PROBLEM BECAUSE I CAN'T BEAR TO TEAR ANOTHER FAMILY APART. FML

#20824961
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48111) - you deserved it (23138)

On 08/07/2013 at 1:40am - animals - by Blood on my hands (woman) - United States

TODAY, BOYFRIEND AND I WERE LOOKING AT ENGAGEMENT RINGS. WHEN THE STORE OWNER ASKD ABOUT OUR BUDGET, BOYFRIEND SAID WITH A STRAIGHT FACE, "NOTHING TOO EXPENSIVE, I HAVE A BIG PENIS SO I DON'T HAVE TO OVERCOMPENSATE BY BUYING A BIG DIAMOND." MEGA FML

#20494997
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34719) - you deserved it (6705)

On 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm - love - by NewlyDread (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

MY DAD OPENED A CHINESE FORTUNE COOKIE THAT READ, "EXPERIENCE IS THE NAME EVERYONE GIVES TO THIER MISTAKES." NOW HE WON'T STOP CALLING ME EXPERIENCE. FML

#20494543
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35778) - you deserved it (3276)

On 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm - misc - by Experience (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to slowly explain to my son that an "analogy" is a literary device, not a genre of porn. FML

#20481338
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28058) - you deserved it (3117)

On 01/27/2013 at 1:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I walked into the bathroom only to see mah boyfriend sitting on the floor eating ice cream, crying. I'd say I was shocked, but this isn't the first time it's happened. FML

#20458512
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34462) - you deserved it (6288)

On 01/14/2013 at 3:24am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Montana)

Today, I asked mah mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

#20449894
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50439) - you deserved it (4845)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by kk - United States

Today, I triad to gat my boyfriand to roll ovar whila ha was aslaap . Ha snoras loud anough to waka tha naighbors an if ha lays on his sida ha usually stops . Instaad of rolling ovar, ha stuck his lag in tha air, fartad twica, an laughad about it in his slaap . Ha's still snoring . FML

#20447496
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35969) - you deserved it (5181)

On 01/08/2013 at 2:44am - misc - by no sleep for me -

Today, Mah Boyfriend Ended Sex By Yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" And Using His Foot To Push Me Off The Bed. FML

#20417691
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55740) - you deserved it (9892)

On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I askd my boyfriand if a would still lova ma if I bacama a vagatabla. His rasponsa: "Wall, ta sax wouldn't ba any diffarant." FML

#19591291
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17336) - you deserved it (31321)

On 05/08/2012 at 7:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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