Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cyfclife

Search for a member

cyfclife
  • Town/Country : St louis, US
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 575
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About cyfclife : I like goats

cyfclife's last visitors

s_ali13ThePrestige

cyfclife's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

cyfclife's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having the best sex with my husband, and right when I reached climax, he shouted "Abracadabra!" FML

#15038049
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30366) - you deserved it (6398)

On 02/19/2011 at 8:12am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

#14608705
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28326) - you deserved it (18981) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my wonderful boyfriend asked me if I wanted him to cook me scrambled eggs with sausage for breakfast. When I said yes, he pulled out his junk, and started shaking it violently in my face. FML

#14058992
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31856) - you deserved it (9142)

On 12/02/2010 at 10:54am - intimacy - by sissydlk (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if there's a reason why he has never gone down on me. He responded, "Your back door is too close to your front door and it creeps me out." FML

#14048087
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29929) - you deserved it (4454)

On 12/01/2010 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked into my home office and said F*** you! Then she ran to my husband and said "Did I say it right?" FML

#13484178
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31461) - you deserved it (4351)

On 10/17/2010 at 9:55am - kids - by Ashley Marshburn - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32664) - you deserved it (19790)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML

#13342166
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23380) - you deserved it (4185)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:01pm - animals - by ukfan - United States

Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML

#13293107
346 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36558) - you deserved it (8903)

On 10/02/2010 at 7:08pm - kids - by blah blah daddy - United States (California)

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I were to get pregnant. Expecting him to give me a cute and supportive answer, he replied, "We'd be finding you a nice flight of stairs to accidentally fall down." FML

#13031931
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33969) - you deserved it (11309)

On 09/13/2010 at 5:14am - love - by vikinggirl (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML

#9070560
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22673) - you deserved it (9802)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:49am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was talking to a female friend online. She was typing out a story bit by bit about how awful she was feeling after being teased. I was responding with "So, so true" but because of my slow typing it appeared after she wrote, "Doesn't help being fat." FML

#7927538
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19948) - you deserved it (4141)

On 02/06/2010 at 3:17am - misc - by Oops (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was hit on by a guy who decided to use the line, "My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in." FML

#6748934
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30893) - you deserved it (3881)

On 12/14/2009 at 4:05am - love - by luckygirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, in aerobics, while stretching, my friend leaned over to pull the long hair off my pants. It was my pubic hair sticking through my pants, and I screamed. FML

#6660964
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11780) - you deserved it (32668)

On 12/08/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by cookscatastrophy - United States (California)

Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. FML

#6040097
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9551) - you deserved it (74500)

On 10/28/2009 at 2:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I noticed my wife makes more satisfied groans when she's taking a big dump than she does when we make love. FML

#4992534
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20956) - you deserved it (5959)

On 09/02/2009 at 1:56am - intimacy - by turdburger (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: