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cyanidesandwich

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cyanidesandwich

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 8 November 1996 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2983
  • Number of comments : 231
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 24 posted

About cyanidesandwich : I am an awesome guy to be around, i love this site and play some if Kixeye's facebook games in my spare time. I am also proud to say that i have seen both two girls one cup and the BME Pain olympics back to back. ( the first didnt bother me at all, but the second was kind of hard to watch)

cyanidesandwich's page activity

Visits<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 9:40am<b>KidBro</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 8:37pm<b>Rachel124</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 8:39am<b>jvfelicio</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 12:36am<b>triplebeerox</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 6:49pm<b>that_random_twin</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 5:46pm<b>tagallopes</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 2:21pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 6:44pm<b>mattandkim95</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 11:13pm<b>CrazyZebra</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 1:18am<b>theark95</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 10:54am<b>halloweentree</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 9:41pm<b>a_wiener_d0g</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 5:45pm<b>arrowhead235</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 2:31pm<b>xDochx</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 2:17pm<b>papashaan</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 3:29pm<b>monsterbeats</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 12:09pm<b>fitts6</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 4:05am

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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cyanidesandwich's favorite FMLs

Today, I attended a funeral. During the minute of silence, my phone went off. My ringtone is "It's good to be alive". FML

#15616538
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19309) - you deserved it (53186)

On 04/03/2011 at 3:02am - misc - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that my girlfriend can only orgasm when we have sex to gospel music. FML

#15613942
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49375) - you deserved it (5849)

On 04/03/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by cantgetup (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML

#15583575
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25140) - you deserved it (32211)

On 04/01/2011 at 12:32am - love - by Anonymous - United States

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37110) - you deserved it (31466)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I finally got a reply to the letter to a celebrity that I had to write for my English class. It was a restraining order. FML

#14908129
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30066) - you deserved it (7049)

On 02/09/2011 at 10:53am - misc - by PrestonW -

Today, I saw Saw IV with my boyfriend. He held me close and said, "I'll protect you." A few seconds later, he jumped up so violently, he gave me a bloody nose, and ran screaming out of the room. FML

#14248345
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29643) - you deserved it (3425)

On 12/18/2010 at 2:14pm - love - by asdfghjkl (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my dog accidentally crapped on her leash. When I flicked the leash to get the poo off, it went flying. Have you ever had warm poo hit you in the face on a cold day when there's 6 inches of snow on the ground? I have. FML

#7913686
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21991) - you deserved it (8437)

On 02/05/2010 at 7:50pm - animals - by doggie_doo_face (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that if you let your son install a new shower head, he won't tighten it properly. So when you turn the shower on, it will shoot out at rocket speed, hitting you in the face. Then when you grab the shower handle to prevent yourself falling backwards, you will just rip that out and hit your head again. FML

#5858229
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31443) - you deserved it (4667)

On 10/16/2009 at 10:38pm - misc - by Ndanick1193 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, the bird that has been stuck in my roof for two days, keeping me awake at night, finally flew out of the roof and into the house. As I was opening the door to send it outside, it flew straight back up into the roof. FML

#5839165
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20647) - you deserved it (2166)

On 10/15/2009 at 2:16am - animals - by birdhater (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went out drinking with a female friend I've been crushing on for a while now. After we'd been talking and had a few, She said 'Man, I haven't gotten laid in months! Do you mind?'. Surprised but hopeful, I nodded. She leaned over, hugged me, and went to hit on a guy at the bar. FML

#4356438
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43374) - you deserved it (4676)

On 08/07/2009 at 5:43am - love - by ineedanotherdrink (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realised that my glade plug-in air freshner lasts longer than any of my relationships have. FML

#1956453
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47360) - you deserved it (9308)

On 05/15/2009 at 2:14am - love - by heartless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I logged onto my computer to access a video from my porn stash. However, the folder was empty except for my favourite file. Thinking that a virus deleted everything, I was thankful my favourite file remained. When I opened it, I saw a video of my parents telling me not to masturbate. FML

#797956
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94927) - you deserved it (41712)

On 04/04/2009 at 10:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML

#206263
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26592) - you deserved it (41550)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by Señor Guapo (man) - United States (Missouri)



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