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cyanidesandwich

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cyanidesandwich

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 8 November 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4446
  • Number of comments : 236
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

About cyanidesandwich : I am an awesome guy to be around, i love this site and play some if Kixeye's facebook games in my spare time. I am also proud to say that i have seen both two girls one cup and the BME Pain olympics back to back. ( the first didnt bother me at all, but the second was kind of hard to watch)

cyanidesandwich's page activity

Visits<b>domogalcx</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 11:48pm<b>left_4_egg</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 10:55pm<b>sydniew2001</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 9:10am<b>Hunter_the_Ninja</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 3:08pm<b>oakcrush</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 12:50pm<b>Aubreychendi_</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 10:11pm<b>MrsJoHood</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 4:52am<b>Iarla_ceapaire93</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 9:26am<b>munuxi</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 1:05am<b>Angsty_Armadillo</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 12:21pm<b>Malteser95</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 10:55am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 9:34pm<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 12:38pm<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 5:55pm<b>cmonger</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 6:45pm<b>Dynosaur_dollie</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 9:20am<b>arano</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 7:31pm<b>mibs3</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 2:13pm

Fucked!<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 3:34am<b>iceskata</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 10:39pm<b>Rhinocerus</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 5:33am

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This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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cyanidesandwich's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

#17586114
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31734) - you deserved it (5464)

On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML

#17564993
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40068) - you deserved it (3492)

On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

#17556947
409 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32775) - you deserved it (5996)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

#17468167
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36332) - you deserved it (9881)

On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my father tricked me into eating a Tasmanian habanero, saying it was just another pepper. The burning in my mouth was unbearable, but nothing compared to when I took a shit later in the day. FML

#17450169
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33204) - you deserved it (4728)

On 08/12/2011 at 1:25pm - misc - by Coldsnap - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my friend and I went for a late night walk along the beach. We decided to sit down on a log. It was a dead seal. FML

#17447833
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43644) - you deserved it (6434)

On 08/12/2011 at 3:44am - animals - by squishylog - United States (California)

Today, I walked outside my house to find my father in nothing but his underwear, spraying ants with ant-killer, laughing like a maniac and screaming, "Die bitches! Die!" FML

#17447180
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32168) - you deserved it (4306)

On 08/12/2011 at 2:17am - misc - by TuteSweet - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

#17349963
378 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56561) - you deserved it (3508)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)

Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML

#17288332
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32868) - you deserved it (2768)

On 07/28/2011 at 4:37pm - health - by shroooms (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, I was walking to the store when I ran into one of my friends. He said he heard about my bike being stolen the day before, and that whoever took it was a heartless dick. I hadn't told anyone about the theft. FML

#17231826
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41990) - you deserved it (2846)

On 07/23/2011 at 5:27pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, a group of girl-scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought 2 bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML

#17172932
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41295) - you deserved it (6308)

On 07/19/2011 at 2:24am - kids - by hatemylife - United States (New York)

Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML

#17156963
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38298) - you deserved it (3367)

On 07/18/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML

#17156963
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38298) - you deserved it (3367)

On 07/18/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my husband and I had just got over a big argument, and I asked him to cut me some cucumbers for my eyes to help me relax. I was laying down, eyed closed, and he set them on my eyes. They weren't cucumbers, they were lemons. FML

#16304417
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22064) - you deserved it (43612)

On 05/22/2011 at 9:58pm - misc - by lemonhead -

Today, I called my mom and I got voicemail: "Hello, this is Joyce. I'm not here at the moment, so leave a message and I will call back as soon as possible. Except if it's Sophie. If it is, get the hell out of my life, biiitch." I'm Sophie. FML

#16277125
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40439) - you deserved it (5305)

On 05/21/2011 at 2:42am - misc - by thatsasquee - Canada (British Columbia)



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