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cyanidesandwich

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cyanidesandwich

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 8 November 1996 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2934
  • Number of comments : 231
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 24 posted

About cyanidesandwich : I am an awesome guy to be around, i love this site and play some if Kixeye's facebook games in my spare time. I am also proud to say that i have seen both two girls one cup and the BME Pain olympics back to back. ( the first didnt bother me at all, but the second was kind of hard to watch)

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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cyanidesandwich's favorite FMLs

Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML

#17156963
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37263) - you deserved it (3286)

On 07/18/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML

#17156963
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37263) - you deserved it (3286)

On 07/18/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my husband and I had just got over a big argument, and I asked him to cut me some cucumbers for my eyes to help me relax. I was laying down, eyed closed, and he set them on my eyes. They weren't cucumbers, they were lemons. FML

#16304417
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21122) - you deserved it (42344)

On 05/22/2011 at 9:58pm - misc - by lemonhead -

Today, I called my mom and I got voicemail: "Hello, this is Joyce. I'm not here at the moment, so leave a message and I will call back as soon as possible. Except if it's Sophie. If it is, get the hell out of my life, biiitch." I'm Sophie. FML

#16277125
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39497) - you deserved it (5206)

On 05/21/2011 at 2:42am - misc - by thatsasquee - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up needing to wee. I was at my boyfriend's and didn't want to wake him, so I sat on the edge of the toilet and peed as quietly as possible. I realised after that I'd sat too far over and had peed on the floor. There was no loo paper. FML

#16267774
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11427) - you deserved it (37367)

On 05/20/2011 at 3:05pm - misc - by lionhead14 (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, while driving, a minivan cut me off. Pissed, I started honking and cursing. I then went ballistic when the driver waved out the window, smiling. It wasn't until I was at a stoplight that I noticed their "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. FML

#16263941
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26445) - you deserved it (14147)

On 05/20/2011 at 6:07am - misc - by Max Flynn -

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

#16205540
343 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61828) - you deserved it (9668)

On 05/16/2011 at 12:33pm - health - by Bobby M - Ireland (Carlow)

Today, as a prank, a friend and I tied a 10 dollar bill to a fishing line, and yanked it away from people as they reached for it. It was going really well until one of our victims pulled a knife and chased us around the block. FML

#16144015
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13174) - you deserved it (52553)

On 05/12/2011 at 1:53pm - misc - by Jackassed - United States (New York)

Today, I puked up a centipede. FML

#16126004
249 comments

Today, having turned 18, I was eager to show my mother some of the clothes I'd like to purchase with my birthday money. I flipped my laptop open only to realise I had left a "Big Latina Booty gets a fat one" window open. Her howling screams of pleasure echoed through my kitchen. FML

#16074880
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13005) - you deserved it (56168)

On 05/07/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by Anon (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I dreamed that I was kidnapped by Charlie Sheen. FML

#15912541
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31030) - you deserved it (11501)

On 04/24/2011 at 9:10pm - misc - by woahitbechels - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was taking a crap in a public stall when three kids broke down the door and pelted me with eggs. FML

#15846054
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46225) - you deserved it (5687)

On 04/19/2011 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was in IKEA when my friends and I thought it would be fun to play hide and seek. We all hid; I was in a good hiding spot. Half an hour later, I was still there. I texted my friends to see where they were. They all left to see a movie, and forgot about me. FML

#15616654
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33479) - you deserved it (11804)

On 04/03/2011 at 3:11am - misc - by Nicole - United States

Today, I attended a funeral. During the minute of silence, my phone went off. My ringtone is "It's good to be alive". FML

#15616538
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19303) - you deserved it (53166)

On 04/03/2011 at 3:02am - misc - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that my girlfriend can only orgasm when we have sex to gospel music. FML

#15613942
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49358) - you deserved it (5848)

On 04/03/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by cantgetup (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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