cwjb99

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cwjb99

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1427
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About cwjb99 : Hi im bored right now so i just like reading these and im really into JohnCena

cwjb99's page activity

Visits<b>emily1015</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 11:23pm<b>DevinEleven</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 10:38pm<b>golden_warrior</b> - the 06/17/2013 at 6:42am<b>suri_mf</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 11:56am<b>Blacksabbath211</b> - the 03/17/2013 at 10:44pm<b>challan</b> - the 03/14/2013 at 2:22am<b>GabrielleFrance</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 5:45pm<b>delwoodfrashure</b> - the 03/08/2013 at 3:21pm<b>Chanti</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 3:15am<b>brandonguest</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 1:18am<b>Megan98</b> - the 02/25/2013 at 11:36am<b>Exotic_Nihilism</b> - the 02/25/2013 at 10:09am<b>Antonia583</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 3:41am<b>sbuxsux11</b> - the 02/22/2013 at 7:43pm<b>J_babyxoxo</b> - the 02/22/2013 at 8:33am<b>BrotherTheo</b> - the 02/22/2013 at 8:04am<b>SerpentBoy</b> - the 02/22/2013 at 5:38am<b>zilla52</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 4:23am

cwjb99's FML badges

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Judgmental

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cwjb99's favorite FMLs

Today, my fiancé is returning home, so I decided to wax myself, thinking things would get intimate. I warmed the wax strips and set them on the counter. Our cat jumped onto the counter and managed to roll onto one of the strips. Suffice to say, the wrong pussy got a painful waxing. FML

by Anonymous / 02/25/2013 at 12:57pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I was at a club when a notoriously desperate and disgusting guy asked me to grind with him. Hoping for some backup, I coolly said, "You'll have to ask my boyfriend." My boyfriend's response? "Yeah, man, I don't care." FML

by really / 02/19/2013 at 10:27am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was in the shower, my boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart, he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 02/19/2013 at 3:35am / Intimacy

Today, I lit my beard on fire while trying to light a cigarette driving to work. I got fired from work when I got there because of my appearance. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2013 at 8:55pm / United States (Oregon) / Money

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he found out my birthday is the same day as his, and he thinks we are twins who were separated at birth. FML

by okay then / 02/13/2013 at 5:09pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I have problems going when other people are there, so I waited until everyone left. Two girls noticed I was taking a long time, and started giggling and throwing notes under the door asking if I was alive. This continued for half an hour. FML

by please leave... / 02/13/2013 at 2:33pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I hurt my back while exercising. I can't bend over or lift my arms above my head without intense pain. My husband, however, finds my situation hilarious and has moved everything I use frequently to either the floor or high shelf. He giggles every time I try to retrieve anything. FML

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

by Kitten_Love / 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm / Animals

Today, someone put a whole packet of glitter on the blades of my ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticed when I turned it on. FML

by hopelessteej / 01/28/2013 at 8:55am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm getting married. A few months ago, I allowed my mother in-law to take care of catering. She begged to be a part of the wedding, so I gave her the caterer's number and order info. It appears that I will not be eating at my own wedding because she decided to order food I'm allergic to. FML

by forever1990 / 01/28/2013 at 6:52am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, a cyclone hit my city. Though everywhere else is flooding, my house is fine. Well, that was until the toilet decided to overflow and regurgitate the entire town's sewerage. So now my only bathroom is covered in sewage, and I can't go anywhere else because of the flooding. FML

by shitday / 01/27/2013 at 6:47pm / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, I went on another date with a guy I've had a crush on for a long time. Afterwards, we went back to my place for the first time and things got heated. While taking my pants off, he recoiled and asked if I thought it was still No Shave November. FML

by Anonymous / 01/26/2013 at 12:20pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Intimacy