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Offline (the 09/19/2014 at 7:44pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 30 April 1985 (31 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5537
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About cwells0430 : My life is pretty fucked up one day you'll be saying "I agree your life does suck" thanx in advance

cwells0430's page activity

Visits<b>Rababco</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 11:18pm<b>todayemu</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 3:25pm<b>SweetSociopathy</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 1:35am<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 3:34pm<b>lemonadestand</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 9:35pm<b>raven83</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 12:21pm<b>Deluxe_1</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 10:01pm<b>Camlin93</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 8:24am<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 3:16am<b>Axel5238</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 7:50pm<b>MrManManMan</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 7:51pm<b>seeoseek</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 6:43am<b>semper_amo</b> - the 08/04/2013 at 5:48pm<b>golden_warrior</b> - the 06/20/2013 at 7:07pm<b>Treyzania</b> - the 05/28/2013 at 10:59pm<b>lambda</b> - the 05/27/2013 at 12:44am<b>AliceTheBlue</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 1:35am<b>1992yoko</b> - the 05/25/2013 at 11:14am

cwells0430's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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cwells0430's favorite FMLs

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML

by valnaj1 / 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm / Denmark (Syddanmark) / Intimacy

Today, I was snooping around in my parents' closet to see what I would get for Christmas, when I came across a UPS package. It was the video game I ordered off eBay 3 weeks ago, addressed to me. They told me it had never arrived and said I should ask Santa to bring it to me. FML

by Anonymous / 12/08/2012 at 12:44am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter finally gave birth to twin boys. She informed me that she named them Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck. My grandsons are named after Hobbits. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2012 at 11:49pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids

Today, I found my childhood diary stashed in a box in the attic. I flipped to the last page and noticed a little note written by my now deceased father. It read, "Well son, this diary proves that you're a whiny asshole - Dad." Thanks Dad, from beyond the grave. FML

by Anonymous / 11/12/2012 at 9:47pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

by Targeted / 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to go to my daughter's school because she hasn't been going to class. Her teacher seemed surprised to see me with my husband when we arrived. Apparently I "died" recently and my daughter has had extra responsibility around the house, hence why she doesn't come to class. FML

by Shauna / 11/08/2012 at 6:09am / United States / Kids

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

by Failed Parent / 10/11/2012 at 2:59am / United States / Kids

Today, I came home from a three day vacation to find my psycho ex-girlfriend in my house. Even though I broke up with her six months ago, she hasn't broken up with me. It's alright though, she says she's going to forgive me and she already moved her stuff in when I was out of town. FML

by BusinessTurtle / 10/06/2012 at 3:49am / United States (Iowa) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my dad forced me to take part in a pathetic act of revenge against our neighbors, who keep parking their 4x4 in front of our house. He made me stand watch while he kept trying to slash their tires. An hour later, we were waiting for my mom to bail us out of jail. FML

by GEE, THANKS DAD / 09/28/2012 at 6:21pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I collected my students' notes in class to check them. One girl, who is always drawing weird anime crap in her sketchbook, turned in just one piece of paper that read, "FUCK YOUR CLASS." FML

by Mrs. Teacher / 09/17/2012 at 8:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML

by apparently inexperienced / 09/11/2012 at 12:54pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my new husband is expecting two children: ours, due in January, and our 16-year-old neighbor's, due in March. FML

by Just_Me_88 / 08/18/2012 at 1:09am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got a phone call out of the blue from a young man, who screamed that he was going to kill me for sleeping with his fiancée. I told him I am a 49-year-old man who hasn't been laid since my wife passed away, four years ago. He stammered, shouted "Well she was a slut too" and hung up. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2012 at 8:20pm / United States / Love

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2012 at 12:17am / Canada / Intimacy