Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cwells0430

Search for a member

cwells0430

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 30 April 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 892
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About cwells0430 : My life is pretty fucked up one day you'll be saying "I agree your life does suck" thanx in advance

cwells0430's page activity

Visits<b>Axel5238</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 7:50pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 9:39pm<b>MrManManMan</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 7:51pm<b>seeoseek</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 6:43am<b>bubba5hill</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 5:10am<b>semper_amo</b> - the 08/04/2013 at 5:48pm<b>golden_warrior</b> - the 06/20/2013 at 7:07pm<b>Treyzania</b> - the 05/28/2013 at 10:59pm<b>lambda</b> - the 05/27/2013 at 12:44am<b>AliceTheBlue</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 1:35am<b>1992yoko</b> - the 05/25/2013 at 11:14am<b>Richy_1983</b> - the 05/25/2013 at 9:31am<b>JaneChemi</b> - the 05/25/2013 at 8:37am<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 05/25/2013 at 2:58am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 05/25/2013 at 2:16am<b>gaysunshine</b> - the 05/25/2013 at 12:02am<b>xxxshallowxxx</b> - the 05/24/2013 at 11:54pm

cwells0430's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of cwells0430's badges

cwells0430's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at work talking to an older man. As our conversation ended, he said, "Thank you, ma'am." Then, he quickly stumbled over his words as he said, "I mean, thank you, sir. I meant sir. I think." He gazed at me for a moment in confusion, then darted away. FML

Today, I found out my work gave me a vacation for my performance. It's a trip to somewhere in the Caribbean, with the nickname "The Sunniest Place on Earth." I have skin cancer. FML

#20706766
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50836) - you deserved it (3732)

On 06/05/2013 at 12:22am - health - by TooSunnyForSkin - United States (Indiana)

Today, my wife uttered the soul-crushing words, "But we're married now, why would we have sex?" FML

#20706140
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83340) - you deserved it (7975)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by ._. (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, my boyfriend lost his temper with me and complained that my "constant" apologies for upsetting him drive him insane, and without thinking, I said I was sorry. He hung up and I haven't heard from him since. FML

#20705829
172 comments

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML

#20705783
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44490) - you deserved it (4170)

On 06/04/2013 at 4:31pm - misc - by no booze, no boyfriend (woman) - United States

Today, I received a death threat from some nutball accusing me of being part of some big government conspiracy called "Haarp." According to this psycho, I'm responsible for causing the recent tornadoes in Oklahoma. I'm just a small-time weatherman. FML

#20703997
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46591) - you deserved it (3366)

On 06/03/2013 at 7:13pm - misc - by fuck wannabe knowitalls (man) - United States

Today, the doorbell rang. I saw my incredibly overbearing mum's car outside, so I stayed quiet and tried to sneak upstairs. As I crawled through the hallway, commando style, I realised the door blinds were still out for cleaning. If scowls could kill, I'd be roasting in Hell right now. FML

#20694934
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39103) - you deserved it (9721)

On 05/30/2013 at 8:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found shit on my windshield. I'm not sure if it is human or animal, but it was conveniently smeared all over and even more was placed under my wipers just in case I used them to clean it up. This isn't the first time, and I have no idea who I could have pissed off. FML

#20694826
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46999) - you deserved it (3966)

On 05/30/2013 at 5:41am - misc - by windshitwipers (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML

#20694089
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44798) - you deserved it (8979)

On 05/29/2013 at 9:53pm - misc - by paulinapo - United States (New York)

Today, after being told by her therapist to try to make her kids a bigger part of her life because we're so distant from her, my mom's new favorite thing to do is to constantly use the words "YOLO" and "swag" around us. FML

#20691079
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49668) - you deserved it (5177)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was stuck home with a cold when my boyfriend's best friend sent me a text saying, "You doing alright?" I replied, thinking he was talking about my health. He replied, "I'm surprised you're taking the breakup so well." What breakup? Mine. He was ten minutes too soon. FML

#20690777
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53837) - you deserved it (3006)

On 05/28/2013 at 4:09am - love - by really? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was sending intimate pictures to my girlfriend and accidentally sent one to my best friend. He sent me one back. FML

#20690661
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55747) - you deserved it (32821)

On 05/28/2013 at 1:44am - intimacy - by Abrams52 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my grandma's chihuahua was run over while I was taking her for a walk. She later whispered to me, "It should have been you." FML

#20690610
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56142) - you deserved it (7230)

On 05/28/2013 at 1:05am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my uncle drove to my house in his tractor, beer in one hand, and a radio strapped to the dash blasting country music at unimaginable volume. Neither of us live on a farm. Half the neighborhood stood angrily glaring at us until we went inside. FML

#20684256
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37414) - you deserved it (4092)

On 05/24/2013 at 6:48pm - misc - by unwilling redneck - United States

Today, my extremely religious father visited for a family dinner. My daughter had just one job: not to set him off on one of his easily-provoked rants. She nonetheless decided to take a photo in the middle of prayer, because she just HAD to Instagram her food. My father went apeshit. FML

#20683669
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49032) - you deserved it (8918)

On 05/24/2013 at 12:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: