cwaziemamma

Search for a member

Offline (the 08/15/2014 at 9:11pm)

cwaziemamma

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 November 1974 (41 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 691
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About cwaziemamma : I'm a single mom who's life revolves around my daughter in every aspect.

cwaziemamma's page activity

Visits<b>TreeTreeMan</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 10:57am<b>kodalinemonster</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 9:35am<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 3:37pm<b>ricardof</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 8:54pm<b>upnorth4</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 6:08pm<b>Ieri</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 4:38pm<b>dakotajohn</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 2:56pm<b>ryot55</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 4:27pm<b>joshtapp</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 2:22am<b>TEZZ</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 5:45pm<b>y007346</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 3:59pm<b>aron1991</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 3:43am<b>mattman668</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 1:53pm<b>bloo_isanonymous</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 6:06pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 9:32pm<b>Qele</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:58am<b>DubiousDude69</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 1:37pm<b>killthedead</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 10:45am

cwaziemamma's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of cwaziemamma's badges

cwaziemamma's favorite FMLs

Today, I was waiting in a line, texting on my phone. I hear what sounded like a sneeze and said, "Bless you" to the man in front of me. He gave me a dirty look as I began to smell something awful. It wasn't a sneeze. FML

by Anonymous / 07/16/2014 at 10:49pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to my dog jumping on my bed and licking me all over. It would've been fine, if I hadn't woken the first time a few minutes earlier to the sight of him going to town on his balls. FML

by ballbreath / 07/16/2014 at 11:44am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

by ADanceWithDavos / 07/07/2014 at 11:59am / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

by possibly fucked / 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm / Portugal (Lisboa) / Intimacy

Today, I was video chatting my boyfriend. As we were talking, he answered a phone call. I sat there the whole time as he planned a date with some other girl over the phone. FML

by forever alone / 06/19/2014 at 6:26pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I went to CVS to buy some tampons. The cashier said, "Ewwww... You're on your period." FML

Today, my daughter told me that she liked her "other daddy" better. I don't know who's she talking about, but my wife is doing a good job telling her to be quiet. FML

by FirstDaddy / 06/16/2014 at 5:38pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, I was using my phone while in a crowded waiting room, and I accidentally tapped on a YouTube video with the volume still at maximum. The first words everyone heard? "Fuck her right in the pussy!" FML

by Anonymous / 06/14/2014 at 5:32pm / United States (Texas) / Geek

Today, I returned home after a four day weekend at my parents' house. Upon entering by the front door, a horrid stench assaulted my nose. Hours later I still cannot find the source of the foul odor. I'm starting to wonder if this is how it's always smelled without my knowing. FML

by Where is it coming from?! / 06/09/2014 at 10:46pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I let my dog outside to play. He shat on three cars, played dead in the middle of the street, and chased my neighbors' cat into a pool. When he came back into the house, he had a note taped to his back saying "IOU 1 lawsuit". FML

Today, I ran into my girlfriend by chance while out shopping. She looked different than usual. Maybe it was the wedding ring she was wearing, or how she had her arm around another gentleman, gee, I don't know. That's two years of my life wasted. FML

by wrecked / 06/09/2014 at 5:03pm / United States / Love

Today, I put my headphones on and laid down to relax to some music. I fell asleep, and woke up later to a police officer busting into my house. My neighbor had been knocking on my door, then looked through my window and saw me on my couch, and was convinced I'd died. FML

by I'm Not Dead Yet / 06/09/2014 at 3:37pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, some pig slapped my ass as he passed me in the street, then looked back at me with a dirty grin. His grin turned to horror when he realized that I'm actually a guy, then to anger as he bitched me out for "tricking" him by "looking like a chick". FML

by 404: sense not found / 06/08/2014 at 2:32pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his lungs. I ran into the dining room where he was, to find him standing on the table screaming "Kill it!" while pointing at an unmoving spider the size of a Tic Tac on the wall. FML

by eightleggedtictac / 06/08/2014 at 11:10am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, my boyfriend wanted to make breakfast. Since I usually do all the cooking, I said that was fine. Four hours later, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the sidewalk across the street as the firemen sprayed down the burnt remains of our kitchen. FML

by Un1ucky / 06/07/2014 at 11:22pm / United States / Miscellaneous