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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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cutiepie87

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cutiepie87
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 695
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

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Today, I was in the line at Chipotle and noticed a very attractive lady in her mid 20's. I deliberately took the table next to her and her friend and happened to overhear what they were talking about. They were both discussing how much diarrhea they were going to have when they got home. FML

#7442500 (99)

I agree, your life sucks (5156) - you deserved it (16164)

On 01/19/2010 at 7:08pm - misc - by maximus (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while cleaning up, I dropped a box of thumbtacks, spilling them all over the floor. As I fumbled to pick them up, the power went out. FML

#5589145 (170)

I agree, your life sucks (35609) - you deserved it (2329)

On 10/01/2009 at 6:31pm - misc - by Ouchies (woman) - United States (Florida) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I lent my parents a copy of "The Dark Knight", saying it was one of my favorite movies so they needed to watch it. A bit later my mom called... Apparently my roommate wanted to watch it as well, but couldn't find the case to his porno and decided to just use the Batman case instead. FML

#5585947 (80)

I agree, your life sucks (27799) - you deserved it (3579)

On 10/01/2009 at 3:46pm - misc - by Broly171 (man) - United States (Iowa) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I realized how much I'm on the computer. I tried to "CTRL+Z" on something I wrote down on my paper. FML

#5580319 (163)

I agree, your life sucks (5985) - you deserved it (25324)

On 10/01/2009 at 3:56am - misc - by slcbabii23 (woman) - United States (Missouri) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I saw a weight loss 'before and after' advertisement and I wished I could at least look like the 'before'. FML

#5301983 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (26174) - you deserved it (16037)

On 09/16/2009 at 9:43pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my boss plays a trick on all the interns. He calls you to his office, then leaves you waiting outside until you get annoyed and leave. Apparently, the old record was 45mins. I waited 4 hours. FML

#5276365 (104)

I agree, your life sucks (34444) - you deserved it (7654)

On 09/15/2009 at 5:32pm - work - by stillwaiting (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I found out the high school I have been doing at home for the past 3 years isn't accredited and doesn't count for anything. I'm 18 and starting high school as a freshman next year. FML

#5252040 (221)

I agree, your life sucks (44164) - you deserved it (12996)

On 09/14/2009 at 2:58pm - misc - by diplomaless (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had an art class with my girlfriend. The teacher assigned "anti-cards", or cards for unusual or bad occasions. My girlfriend decided to make a "break-up" card, and I helped her write the poem inside it. After class, she gave it to me. FML

#5251989 (62)

I agree, your life sucks (32506) - you deserved it (4347)

On 09/14/2009 at 2:54pm - love - by UnluckyArtist (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a poem saying "Roses are red, violets are blue, rubbish is dumped and so are you." FML

#5247721 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (38134) - you deserved it (2810)

On 09/14/2009 at 5:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I tried to help a large, elderly nun who had slipped. She was stuck and wedged in on a concrete ramp. So I stood facing her, feet braced against hers, and pulled. Not only did I drop her, but I got a wicked view of her panties and crotch. I'm sure I'm going to hell. FML

#5191369 (78)

I agree, your life sucks (24947) - you deserved it (2730)

On 09/11/2009 at 6:16pm - misc - by KarmaGirl (woman) - United States (New York)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was eating M&Ms on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (45752) - you deserved it (10322)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML

#4696975 (219)

I agree, your life sucks (47615) - you deserved it (2250)

On 08/21/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I was surprising my husband because our sex life is lacking. We have planned sex tuesday night, every week, with the lights off. When he came home for lunch, I was nude and waiting for him. He took one look and said, "I forgot you looked like that. Meh, I'm going back to work." FML

#3855334 (210)

I agree, your life sucks (58071) - you deserved it (5757)

On 07/18/2009 at 11:51am - intimacy - by Meh (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boss walked in my office to see me busy making a little Post-it dress for my pen. FML

#3610078 (135)

I agree, your life sucks (8992) - you deserved it (38271)

On 07/09/2009 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, at work, a woman came up to the counter and asked if we made sweet and sour chicken. Before I could answer, she told me a really long recipe and said "I expect to see this on the menu next time I come in, or I will complain to the manager about your lousy work ethic". I work at Starbucks. FML

#3495649 (319)

I agree, your life sucks (56286) - you deserved it (2495)

On 07/05/2009 at 1:21am - work - by Barista (man) - United States (Wisconsin)