cutie1078

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cutie1078

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  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 143
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>RandomRaveDude</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 9:05am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 9:34am

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cutie1078's favorite FMLs

Today, I was woken up early in the morning by the sound of my mother frantically crying out for help. Apparently she had tried, unsuccessfully, to "end the suffering" of an injured squirrel by drowning it in the toilet. How? By placing it into the bowl and smothering it with clothes. My clothes. FML

by Anonymous / 12/21/2011 at 1:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking down the street, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. It wasn't all that embarrassing, until I walked two more feet and slipped again. The second time, a man pulled over and loudly asked if I was drunk. FML

by This girl / 12/19/2011 at 1:01pm / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a concert. Being 6'5" was a great advantage because I could see the stage from wherever I was stood. On the downside, I was used by people as a meeting point. FML

by jackgrant / 12/06/2011 at 8:01pm / Iran Islamic Republic of / Miscellaneous

Today, I got kicked in the crotch by a horse in my backyard. I don't own a horse. FML

by Rash / 12/06/2011 at 11:54am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I saw a 10 dollar bill on the street, as I went to grab it, it was pulled away by a string. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I was tricked by teenagers or that I tripped and fell as I went for it. FML

by aceshot97 / 12/06/2011 at 9:33am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML

by immy504 / 11/30/2011 at 12:39am / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because we watched a movie that Taylor Lautner was in, she claims they made special eye contact and they are destined to be together. FML

by hot_shot / 11/28/2011 at 8:33pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I told my boss about a coworker that had been hitting on me. She looked me dead in the eye and said "I was afraid that would happen. He's a bit of a chubby chaser." FML

by Chubby / 11/17/2011 at 11:50am / United States / Work

Today, my neighbours watched and laughed as I chased my dog around the lawn, trying to rescue the only clean pair of underwear I had in my house. FML

by Doggy... / 11/10/2011 at 12:56am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, I was over at a friend's house for a party. I was trying to strike up a conversation with one of my cute guy friends, so I showed him this funny picture of me that my friend took. His reply was "Hahahaa those Fatbooth pictures are hilarious!" It wasn't a Fatbooth picture. FML

by sophhiee / 11/05/2011 at 7:45am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the cheek at school. I missed, and walked away awkwardly. Later on, a teacher stopped me and told me how bad I failed. FML

by fmlifer / 11/04/2011 at 12:29am / United States (California) / Love

Today, at the nail salon, a Korean woman was making fun of me. I kindly told her, in Korean, that I understood. She kindly told me, in English, that she didn't care. FML

by EunJung / 11/03/2011 at 8:16pm / United States / Work

Today, my parents told me that they've been having a contest to see who could punish me the most this week. So far, my mom is in the lead by kicking me out of the car near railroad tracks, and making me walk the 4 miles home in the freezing rain. FML

by Grounded / 11/03/2011 at 5:18am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML

by Anonymous / 11/03/2011 at 3:29am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my fiancé decided he wants to buy an engagement ring for his mother, so that she doesn't feel left out. FML

by heatherjo / 11/02/2011 at 12:49am / United States / Love