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curticus

Offline (the 10/05/2014 at 11:51am) | Search for a member

curticus

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 219
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About curticus : I've been on fml for years, finally made the decision to recover my account's info so don't worry; you'll get to read all of my useless comments and opinions :)

curticus's page activity

Visits<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 10:41pm<b>seldom66</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 7:56pm<b>gear4</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 2:41am<b>Welshite</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 2:29pm<b>Sassybq1</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 10:13am<b>Nexoux</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 10:56pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 7:11pm<b>RedNinjaTurtle</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 2:10pm<b>HumbleExistence</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 2:51am<b>ladyLALAA</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 4:28am<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 7:19pm<b>midnighteyes14</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 10:19pm<b>gjikvtj</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 12:06am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 4:42pm

curticus's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of curticus's badges

curticus's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my mom that once I leave school, I want to join the clergy, and how much it meant to me. Her response: "Never knew you wanted to molest kids so much!" FML

#21270314
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29874) - you deserved it (6325)

On 10/03/2014 at 9:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I got a round of applause. Too bad it was from my thighs as I went down the stairs. FML

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

#21262210
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38083) - you deserved it (9774)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, I dreamed I was wrestling an alligator. I quickly woke up to my girlfriend yelling and me holding her in a headlock. FML

#21247589
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37315) - you deserved it (5007)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16am - misc - by AgentOrion - United States (Alabama)

Today, I took a pregnancy test because I'd missed a few periods, gained weight, and been moody. Turns out I'm just fat and moody. FML

#21139495
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46310) - you deserved it (10490)

On 05/14/2014 at 9:12am - health - by thanks4support - United States (Ohio)

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

#21132249
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50074) - you deserved it (18166)

On 05/06/2014 at 9:55am - intimacy - by chumman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML

#21115855
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56243) - you deserved it (7848)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:27pm - intimacy - by belljars (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my family and I were having turkey for dinner. My boyfriend leaned in towards me and muttered, "I'll stuff your turkey later". Everyone heard and the whole room went dead silent. FML

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

#21007475
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48869) - you deserved it (6446)

On 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Just as he was about to finish, he pulled out and came in his hand. He then flicked his hand towards my face and yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML

#20999459
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53183) - you deserved it (7925)

On 12/20/2013 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by zamwow (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to go tree shopping with my dad and some of his work buddies. It hit its lowest point when one loudly told us about a crap handjob he got recently. "I mean yeah, choke the cock," he said, "but don't choke it to DEATH, nam'sayin'?" I'd never wanted to just drop dead more. FML

#20993322
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35095) - you deserved it (3038)

On 12/15/2013 at 12:18pm - misc - by ANONYMOUS -_- (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

#20972170
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31030) - you deserved it (14722)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope, and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML

#20949272
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51155) - you deserved it (5312)

On 11/07/2013 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Derry)



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