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curticus

Offline (the 04/14/2014 at 11:12pm) | Search for a member

curticus

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 111
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About curticus : I've been on fml for years, finally made the decision to recover my account's info so don't worry; you'll get to read all of my useless comments and opinions :)

curticus's page activity

Visits<b>Federgirl</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 7:11pm<b>RedNinjaTurtle</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 2:10pm<b>HumbleExistence</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 2:51am<b>ladyLALAA</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 4:28am<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 7:19pm<b>midnighteyes14</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 10:19pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 4:25pm<b>gjikvtj</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 12:06am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 4:42pm

curticus's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of curticus's badges

curticus's favorite FMLs

Today, I took a pregnancy test because I'd missed a few periods, gained weight, and been moody. Turns out I'm just fat and moody. FML

#21139495
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45560) - you deserved it (10251)

On 05/14/2014 at 9:12am - health - by thanks4support - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML

#21115855
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55105) - you deserved it (7765)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:27pm - intimacy - by belljars (woman) - United States (California)

Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope, and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML

#20949272
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51065) - you deserved it (5305)

On 11/07/2013 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Derry)

Today, at a family reunion, my visibly drunk grandparents heard about my new boyfriend, who is a cop. My gran asked if he ever made me feel like Rodney King in the bedroom. Then my grandpa, fresh off a DUI, asked if my boyfriend's dick is as bent as the police force. FML

#20727456
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39943) - you deserved it (3699)

On 06/15/2013 at 1:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was helping my father-in-law out at a family barbecue. Somehow, the topic turned to grand-children, at which point I confessed that my wife has been having trouble conceiving. His response was to boom: "Sure you've been putting it in the right hole, son?!" FML

#20541069
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34455) - you deserved it (4451)

On 03/12/2013 at 6:43pm - kids - by um... maybe (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my psychopathic ex-girlfriend spray-painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van, knowing damn well I have to park it in front of an elementary school on a daily basis to pick up my daughter. FML

#20532616
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40639) - you deserved it (3828)

On 03/05/2013 at 7:07pm - kids - by cjw - United States

Today, I came home in a really good mood, and I greeted my husband with a grin and a "Hi, babe!" He just muttered, "Why can't you just DIE?" and continued playing his video game. FML

#20490556
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38160) - you deserved it (4952)

On 02/02/2013 at 5:34pm - love - by rani (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML

#20144826
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27615) - you deserved it (2855)

On 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by for fuck sake dad (woman) - Ireland (Limerick)

Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML

#20097870
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26788) - you deserved it (3435)

On 10/02/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went over to my friend's house. We were teasing each other, when she stood up and began to jokingly walk away. Trying to be cute, I tried to pull her onto my knee. I miscalculated and she ended up sitting right on my boner. FML

#18098530
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29827) - you deserved it (17585)

On 10/28/2011 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML

#17919622
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38729) - you deserved it (9989)

On 10/06/2011 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my boyfriend told me I looked pretty. I said, "Aww, that's the first time you've said that to me." He replied, "Well, it's the first time you've looked pretty." FML

#16341966
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46296) - you deserved it (8920)

On 05/25/2011 at 12:06pm - love - by Username - United States (California)

Today, I got concussion after a goat ran in front of me while I was jogging. FML

#15942316
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28069) - you deserved it (3793)

On 04/26/2011 at 11:07pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I hung out with the guy I've liked for the first time in 3 years. And when he left, I gave him a hug, he pushed me, I tripped, and hit my head into the wall. Then to save his embarassment, pushed me over onto the couch and pretended to rape me. FML

Today, I tried convincing my Valentine-hating boyfriend to send me a card, by explaining how important it is to me. He finally agreed and sent me a card. I opened it up, and it wished me 'harmony and well-being on Lupercalia'. What is Lupercalia? It's an ancient Roman festival where men run down the street naked, whipping people with goat skins to encourage fertility. FML

#8250331
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8494) - you deserved it (32839)

On 02/14/2010 at 1:56pm - love - by CrappyValentine (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

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