Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

curious_missy

Search for a member

curious_missy
  • Town/Country : Laurel, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 11 August 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 9717
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About curious_missy : I'm clumsy, silly, and so very unfortunate. Which is why I like to laugh at FMLs.
:-p

curious_missy's last visitors

troutbumunlucky_lucyjarrettdalexmac222teezy420xx_serenitymyeviltwin

curious_missy's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

curious_missy's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom and I went to Winn-Dixie. I told her I was going to a different isle 5 minutes later I hear my name on the intercom to go to the front of the store. As I go I see my mom crying, she comes and hugs me and tells me she thought I was lost. Im 22, I had my cell phone, and I drove there. FML

#992222
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (117472) - you deserved it (6621)

On 04/15/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by SwimSquid (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I absentmindedly stuck two magnets in my mouth while talking, and accidentally swallowed them. I had to go the emergency room. The nurses at the station laughed at me. They thought it was a joke. They couldn't believe an 18 year old would swallow magnets. FML

#894059
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8742) - you deserved it (65423)

On 04/09/2009 at 10:40pm - health - by clublulu (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my girlfriend told me that she had an ultrasound tomorrow morning. With a confused look on my face, she said to me "don't worry, it's not yours." FML

#871042
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (102648) - you deserved it (5071)

On 04/08/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by Crazy09 - United States (Michigan)

Today, my parents were taking a tour of my apartment when my bird started making noises. It was mimicking my moans from when I was having sex yesterday. It was screaming in my voice, very noticeably. FML

#350139
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66023) - you deserved it (22437)

On 03/15/2009 at 6:45pm - intimacy - by Moanie (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while I was babysitting, the toddler was feeding me banana slices from her tray while I was cutting up clay for her to mold. It was all fine until she shoved something hard and crunchy into my mouth. I immediately spat it out into my hand. It was a dead cricket she found on the floor. FML

#331058
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54827) - you deserved it (8171)

On 03/14/2009 at 10:27pm - misc - by storyofmylife - United States

Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me "oh I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a F*ing stick for my birthday. FML

#316812
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76336) - you deserved it (5219)

On 03/14/2009 at 2:30am - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, these kids in my math class told me to ask this girl if I could lick her clit. I basically yelled 'what's a clit'? Everyone looked at me. I'm a senior in high school, no one has yet to explain it to me. I had to google it when i got home. FML

#254280
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33288) - you deserved it (73797)

On 03/09/2009 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by danmarino (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was so drunk that my friends put me to bed during a party. Later I find out that while I was passed out two of my friends came in and had sex while I was in the same bed. They tried to use me as a prop. Now my friends call me the love wedge. FML

#245374
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59849) - you deserved it (18352)

On 03/08/2009 at 8:25pm - intimacy - by lovewedge (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had my quarterly review with my supervisor at the warehouse I work at. He told me I was doing great and we discussed my raise. After I left his office, his supervisor told me I was being fired for my attendance. The last time I missed work was to attend a funeral. Five months ago. FML

#215931
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53059) - you deserved it (1718)

On 03/05/2009 at 10:10am - work - by crub (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I wore out the highest heels I had but was nervous about falling because I am such a klutz. I got through the night without any injuries, so I changed into the sneakers I had brought with me to walk home. I tripped right outside my house in my sneakers and broke my ankle. FML

#153309
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48880) - you deserved it (5114)

On 02/27/2009 at 3:23pm - misc - by klutz - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, to ask a boy I really liked to my school's turnabout dance, I gave him a box full of 10 cupcakes that spelled out T-U-R-N-A-B-O-U-T-?. The boy gave the box back a little later. There were two cupcakes left inside. It said N-O. FML

#152949
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92719) - you deserved it (9968)

On 02/27/2009 at 2:35pm - misc - by justanaccount (woman) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, I walked home from a guy's dorm early in the morning, still wearing my dress and heels from the night before. I walked by a mother and her little daughter, who said "Mommy, why is she so dressed up so early in the morning?" and the mom replied "Because honey, she makes bad decisions." FML

#152596
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20179) - you deserved it (59165)

On 02/27/2009 at 1:39pm - misc - by LuvShawn (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML

#150928
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57984) - you deserved it (13312)

On 02/27/2009 at 3:39am - intimacy - by facepalm (woman) - Singapore

Today, I was sitting in the living room with my parents when my dad asked my mom if she knew where he could find some double a batteries. She said to check my vibrator. He said he already did. FML

Today, I emailed my boyfriend from work. Out of habit, I absent-mindedly entered my department into the "From" field. My boyfriend didn't notice when he replied. Now my entire department knows I want to "drop to my knees and suck him when I get home." And he plans to "finish on my face." FML

#133145
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12277) - you deserved it (61596)

On 02/25/2009 at 1:41pm - work - by foolishgirl (woman) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: