About cuntfused : I'm black and I like white men. So, I rock. :)
red_lipztiick@yahoo.com
(Save the bs, I don't want to read it.)
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12493) - you deserved it (39331)
Today, I attended the wrong funeral. I spent twenty minutes trying to hide and walk away without being too conspicuous. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19509) - you deserved it (7132)
On 02/25/2011 at 7:18am - misc - by Arlbethere (woman) - United Kingdom (Northumberland)
Today, the sweetest thing my boyfriend ever told me was that I'd make a good porn star. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23637) - you deserved it (7344)
On 02/19/2011 at 2:20am - love - by PlayboyBunny (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was so lonely, I wound up talking for two hours to the creep who calls my number every Friday night and makes creepy obscene breathing noises on the other end of the phone. Turns out he's a better listener than my husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26436) - you deserved it (4117)
On 02/19/2011 at 1:17am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend. I texted her and I would never talk to her again. But I accidentally sent it to my other best friend, who responded, "I'm so sorry, I never meant for you to find out". My two best friends cheated with my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47874) - you deserved it (3376)
On 02/12/2011 at 12:19am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I cut my finger deep on an envelope at work and started bleeding profusely. When I asked my co-worker for a band-aid, she told me to get back to work and stop making up excuses to try and hit on her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22838) - you deserved it (2718)
On 02/11/2011 at 3:27am - work - by alliwantisabandaid -
Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8576) - you deserved it (26246)
On 02/10/2011 at 11:09am - misc - by Jaws (man) - France (Alsace)
Today, to prevent a fistfight at work, I had to mediate a contested debate between two coworkers on what was evidently a very touchy subject: Which is better, the orange creamsicle or the ice cream sandwich? I was the only one to get in trouble for wasting company time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19106) - you deserved it (3666)
On 02/10/2011 at 12:31am - work - by geoduck - United States
Today, I was on the phone with an elderly customer at work. I had to spend 10 minutes listening to him describe how the underwear he bought was too tight and caused his bladder to leak. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18391) - you deserved it (1844)
On 02/09/2011 at 7:41pm - work - by spiderchick23 (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was in class when all of a sudden I was hit in the head by a metal pencil case. My teacher threw it at me to get my attention. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13420) - you deserved it (23427)
On 02/09/2011 at 1:02pm - health - by ouch - United States (Washington)
Today, I got stung by a bee. On my eyelid. I'm allergic so it's swollen up so much, I can't even open my eye. Tomorrow is the first day of a new prestigious school. I either have to go to school wearing an eye-patch or walk around looking like a monster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37216) - you deserved it (2187)
On 08/12/2009 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - Denmark (Kobenhavn)
Today, I had to clean my walls with those Mr Clean Magic Sponges because we were having visitors. I got bored and started drawing penises with it because they would leave wet marks. There is nothing magic about how slow they dry when your visitors come an hour early. They saw all ten of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6351) - you deserved it (45744)
On 07/13/2009 at 6:18pm - misc - by iJehx (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was on my girlfriend's computer. When searching on google, her browsing history popped up. The first thing was"Best positions for a small penis." FML
I agree, your life sucks (73879) - you deserved it (9460)
On 07/12/2009 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by wtf (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was completely wasted at my bachelor party, and my friends thought it would be funny to put sodium nitrate on my penis. Sodium nitrate makes your skin dark purple for a couple of weeks. My wedding is next week and my fiancee has never seen me naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57771) - you deserved it (16751)
On 07/02/2009 at 2:32am - intimacy - by purpledick (man) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)
Today, I was cleaning out my fiancé's room while he was away so we could move into our new home. Not only did I find a few gay nudie mags, but also some interesting love letters from a nice man named Pablo. Apparently I need to do a lot more than cleaning his room to excite him. Like grow a penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53989) - you deserved it (3000)
On 06/12/2009 at 8:10pm - love - by vickyxanne (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Monday 20 May 2013
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