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cultliff

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cultliff

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  • Number of visits : 73
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cultliff's favorite FMLs

Today, my nose started running while in bed with my boyfriend. I kept trying to wipe it off with my arm to avoid ruining the moment. My boyfriend then looks up at me in horror. Turns out it wasn't mucus; it was blood. And it was all over his neck, his shirt, and his silk sheets. FML

#20647224
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62004) - you deserved it (11957)

On 05/07/2013 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Sirah90 (woman) - United States

Today, I tried to "trip" and fall into this guy I've had a crush on. I missed and fell on my face. He stepped over me and kept walking. FML

#20646330
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24189) - you deserved it (48464)

On 05/06/2013 at 8:45pm - misc - by clumsy - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out that my wife is having an affair with the same guy my ex-wife left me for. FML

#20645479
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88252) - you deserved it (5519)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Ireland (Donegal)

Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML

#20539287
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49481) - you deserved it (24478)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:33am - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went with my dad to Starbucks. There is this really cute guy who works there and he kept looking over at me, so I went over to say hi. He ended up asking if my dad was single. FML

#20538966
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41313) - you deserved it (3829)

On 03/11/2013 at 12:17am - love - by lonely girl - United States

Today, I went to family therapy because my mom wanted the family to be closer. When asked what her biggest disappointment was in life, she turned to me and said, "Having a gay son" then patted my hand, smiled, and said "No offense, honey." FML

#19416879
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38419) - you deserved it (6523)

On 04/06/2012 at 10:24am - misc - by Sadboy (man) - United States

Today, the mouse trap I set in my kitchen worked. I caught a snake. FML

Today, I realized I'm too short to use the urinals at work. FML

#19416439
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26264) - you deserved it (2515)

On 04/06/2012 at 7:32am - work - by littleman (man) - United States

Today, my patient had her call bell on. When I went to see what she needed, she replied that she was very itchy and could not reach to scratch the itch. I basically got called in to scratch my patient's crotch. FML

#19415832
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20984) - you deserved it (2147)

On 04/06/2012 at 2:15am - work - by akasha (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to my first meeting at the university women's group, excited to become a more involved feminist. The first item on the meeting's agenda? The upcoming bake sale. FML

#19415450
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10041) - you deserved it (24122)

On 04/06/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by feminismlol (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, during sex, my boyfriend stops and asks if he can eat a sandwich while we do it. FML

#19414574
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26631) - you deserved it (4291)

On 04/05/2012 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by Krissy (woman) - United States

Today, I realized my Internet addiction had gone too far when I tried to Google what was in my freezer. FML

#19413204
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5905) - you deserved it (23896)

On 04/05/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I took a pregnancy test. I waited the longest two minutes of my life just to realize I missed the stick. FML

#19412474
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8560) - you deserved it (24919)

On 04/05/2012 at 3:01pm - misc - by darkestbarbie - United States (Georgia)

Today, I watched my cat walk to her litter box, look at it, then walk across the room to pee on a backpack. FML

#19411591
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22390) - you deserved it (3866)

On 04/05/2012 at 11:07am - animals - by tessamarque - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, after having been told that I looked horrible for the last five months, I decided to give myself a make-over. As soon as the make-up artist was done, I told her I didn't like it, and that I still didn't like how I look. She simply replied: ''Well, I'm a make-up artist, not a magician!'' FML

#19411148
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12985) - you deserved it (23142)

On 04/05/2012 at 8:36am - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands



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