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culo91483's favorite FMLs
Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML
by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation / 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, my mother-in-law confessed that for the longest time, she had fantasies about killing me for "ruining" her daughter's life, basically because I'm not wealthy enough for my mother-in-law's standards. She made sure to let me know the situation hasn't changed at all. FML
by Anonymous / 06/04/2014 at 10:34am / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Love
Today, I told my professor that I'll be missing class next week due to upcoming surgery. I asked if I could take the exam that I'd otherwise miss another day. He said no, and that I'd just have to take a failing grade, then wished me luck with the surgery. FML
by ... / 02/07/2014 at 3:30pm / United States (Illinois) / Health
by Viciousvixen_21 / 04/02/2011 at 3:35am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I braved the winter weather conditions to get to a clinic for a prescription anti-diarrhea medication. When I arrived to find it closed, I turned around to walk to my car where I slipped on the ice. The impact made me simultaneously bruise my elbow and shit myself. FML
by chelseaface / 01/21/2011 at 10:13am / United States (New Jersey) / Health
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- Today, I’m a bus driver in Paris. A guy got on with a sheep. I told him that you can’t take the bus… Today, I found myself completely naked, tied to a chair with a slice of ham on each breast. Note to… Today, I stumbled upon a slightly drunk neighbor, trying to type in the entry code with his penis.…