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cukeeper1

Offline (the 08/25/2014 at 5:05am) | Search for a member

cukeeper1

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  • Number of visits : 1365
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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cukeeper1's page activity

Visits<b>VyronBuckingham</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 12:48pm<b>itscare1217</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 9:39am<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 12:17am<b>KeannaLove</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 9:49pm<b>Conn3ct</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 6:31pm<b>daltonjoyce1998</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 3:26pm<b>helen_ellexo</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 11:42am<b>danivolley64</b> - the 06/25/2013 at 1:59am<b>lyssa_archer97</b> - the 06/22/2013 at 12:45pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 06/13/2013 at 5:58pm

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cukeeper1's favorite FMLs

Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML

#21205080
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49025) - you deserved it (4732)

On 07/10/2014 at 1:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my dad interrupted my job interview with a phone call, just to say "I fucked your mom." No shit, dad. FML

#21199559
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44404) - you deserved it (7073)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My next-door neighbours gave me a stool and some rope. FML

#21194564
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55862) - you deserved it (5177) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/01/2014 at 12:55am - love - by NosChersVoisins - France (Aquitaine)

Today, my brain decided to go into suicide mode. So far I've managed to open a fridge door into my face, walk balls-first into the corner of a table, and sliced my finger while trying to cut open some thick plastic packaging with scissors. I'll probably be dead by the time this is posted. FML

#21165186
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47107) - you deserved it (5447)

On 06/06/2014 at 5:26pm - health - by FMyBrain (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, my students turned in their male figure artwork. One absolute idiot had the smart idea of drawing me and the TA as some kind of gay lovers. I was torn between disgust at the explicitness, anger at the disrespect, and yet awe at how well-drawn it was. FML

#21165062
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42591) - you deserved it (6209)

On 06/06/2014 at 3:00pm - work - by confusing (man) - Zimbabwe

Today, for the first time in my life, my dad said he was proud of me. It meant a lot to me, and I started tearing up. Noticing my emotion, he looked at me pityingly, said "Aaaaand it's gone." and walked out of the room. FML

#21157338
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40117) - you deserved it (6064)

On 05/30/2014 at 5:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, out of habit from twelve years of karate classes, I bowed to my teacher as I exited my classroom. My chemistry classroom. FML

#21156297
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40576) - you deserved it (6517)

On 05/29/2014 at 7:32pm - work - by mathesonn - United States (New York)

Today, I was driving along when I noticed a kid struggling to push his car up the crest of a hill. I jumped out to help him, and he acted surprised to see me. Once we got the car over the hill, it rolled on down. I then saw that no one was actually in the driver's seat. I'd helped a vandal. FML

Today, I'm a little over a month pregnant. My fiancé has decided that if we both act like I'm not pregnant, "the baby will get the hint and go away". FML

#21050194
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53798) - you deserved it (6638)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:50am - kids - by LadyDeadpool88 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while at a funeral for a distant family member, I was giving my condolences to the family. When one of them asked how I was doing, I replied with, "I'm still alive!", which is one of my standard responses due to being a cashier and being asked that question a hundred times a day. FML

Today, my dogs freaked out and started getting violent because they thought the sound of my vibrator was the other's growling. FML

#21048300
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40881) - you deserved it (10302)

On 02/02/2014 at 4:50pm - animals - by foops (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, someone hit my parked car. The impact caused the front of the car to go up onto the sidewalk, and I got a ticket for parking there. FML

#21046882
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47289) - you deserved it (3594)

On 02/01/2014 at 2:47am - misc - by ccgundum (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend finally succeeded in unhooking my bra with one hand, excitedly exclaiming, "Boobies be free!" FML

#21043704
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42610) - you deserved it (10952)

On 01/29/2014 at 12:13am - love - by freed - United States (Ohio)

Today, my university professor admitted to sometimes just winging it when she's teaching. "Yeah," she said, "sometimes I just don't get this stuff either." No wonder I'm failing. 5ML

#21038371
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41843) - you deserved it (3478)

On 01/24/2014 at 3:33pm - misc - by Profucktardor (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I was in a market in France, and went to ask the seller for some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flustered and instead of saying "pomme de terre", which is the French for potato, I said "pomme de merde". I literally asked for an "apple of shit". FML



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