Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cucumberfabulous

Search for a member

cucumberfabulous
  • Town/Country : Montana...New York.., New Zealand
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 1 December 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 12342
  • Number of comments : 172
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cucumberfabulous : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZ5LpwO-An4&feature=related

"Mr. Madison, what you have just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought.. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it.. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."

cucumberfabulous's last visitors

Drag0nb0rnRababcoMzZombicidalrouslovpyrossjwill100hazerdagreek

cucumberfabulous's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of cucumberfabulous's badges

cucumberfabulous's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband is completely convinced that his taking a massive dump after being constipated is exactly like the time I gave birth to our twins. FML

#7215962
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28237) - you deserved it (3734)

On 01/08/2010 at 11:32am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML

#7212033
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27675) - you deserved it (2106)

On 01/08/2010 at 2:23am - kids - by PeanutlyDisabled - France

Today, I was on a long-haul plane journey home from my holiday. After 5 hours, I decided to stretch my arms whilst watching a movie. Little did I know that a little girl was approaching, running down the aisle as my arm stretched out. I accidentally clothes-lined a little 9 year old girl. FML

#7203649
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22758) - you deserved it (3154)

On 01/07/2010 at 7:25pm - misc - by James4929 (man) - United Kingdom

Today, it was snowing really badly, so my boss said that everyone who drove to work could leave. But because I got the bus in, she said that I should stay and do a full day. By the time she eventually decided it was bad enough for me to leave, the buses were cancelled. FML

#7178930
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30223) - you deserved it (1771)

On 01/06/2010 at 8:42am - work - by Snowzies (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote "I hope she does". It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote "I hope she dies" instead. FML

#7154032
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28651) - you deserved it (8187)

On 01/04/2010 at 10:32pm - animals - by poordog (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was supposed to go to Disneyland with my family, but I woke up with explosive diarrhea. So while they are at the happiest place on Earth, I'm stuck on this toilet left to imagine that the splash from my crap is a splash from splash mountain. FML

#7148108
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25971) - you deserved it (2585)

On 01/04/2010 at 5:20pm - health - by onthetoilet - Sent from mobile version

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

#7139059
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21469) - you deserved it (5193)

On 01/04/2010 at 1:43am - health - by sadface (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I had a blind date. When I arrived at our meeting place, I spotted my date, because he was the only one in the bar wearing a nametag. I walked up to him and asked, "Are you John?" He responded, "That depends. Are you Jen?" When I said yes he said, "Then no," and left. FML

#7056556
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30270) - you deserved it (3019)

On 12/31/2009 at 12:33pm - love - by lifesux (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML

#7050962
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7561) - you deserved it (55075)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I realized the closest thing I have to guys hitting on me are the ones who ask to be my friend on Call of Duty because I have the word "girl" in my name. FML

#7035210
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22601) - you deserved it (5859)

On 12/30/2009 at 12:47pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my husband left me for one of the college students I was tutoring in Spanish. We have two kids and are expecting a third. He left a note that said he would "stay in touch." FML

#7028465
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34792) - you deserved it (1792)

On 12/30/2009 at 2:03am - love - by Leslie (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend called me 80 times in 5 minutes. I had previously told him I was with my friends. He left me a voicemail proposing saying he loved me to death and he was crying. We've been dating for a week. FML

#6999302
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36452) - you deserved it (4264)

On 12/28/2009 at 8:21pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML

#6989911
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77021) - you deserved it (4257)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was riding the train home, and I sat in the row in front of a homeless woman. I noticed an old man staring at me. I got off the train after a long 6 stops, and the old man who had been staring at me walks up to me and says "The lady behind you was flicking lice onto you the whole time." FML

#6949420
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34625) - you deserved it (1874)

On 12/26/2009 at 12:16am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of Fight Club. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML

#6923345
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21520) - you deserved it (9509)

On 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: