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ctty

Offline (the 02/02/2014 at 9:55pm) | Search for a member

ctty

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  • Number of visits : 365
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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ctty's page activity

Visits<b>Welshite</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 11:14am

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ctty's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to impress my boyfriend by slowly backing up and biting my lip to get him to come closer and kiss me. I ended up smacking the back of my head against a brick wall. FML

Today, the couple who had written the offer we had accepted for our house withdrew it because apparently when they came by for the home inspection, my next door neighbor's teenage son tried to sell them heroin. FML

Today, I was watching adult videos in my apartment. I'm deaf, so I didn't realize my volume was at full blast until I put my hand over the speaker. FML

#21206881
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51329) - you deserved it (10377)

On 07/12/2014 at 10:00am - intimacy - by weeping_angel_ - United States (New York)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49312) - you deserved it (6544)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to the public library for the first time ever. The librarian told me I couldn't get a library card because I had an outstanding balance of $130.00 from 1995. I was born in 1991. FML

#21204670
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46192) - you deserved it (3963)

On 07/10/2014 at 1:27am - misc - by library book - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML

#21200680
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50820) - you deserved it (7542)

On 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm - love - by oh shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after a power outage at my house, my 14-year-old brother was genuinely confused as to why our flashlights still worked if we had no electricity. FML

#21200603
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42195) - you deserved it (3919)

On 07/06/2014 at 2:04pm - misc - by idiot bro (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, my dad interrupted my job interview with a phone call, just to say "I fucked your mom." No shit, dad. FML

#21199559
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44185) - you deserved it (7051)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to my young niece hammering a metal cookie cutter into my leg. I'll have a teddy bear shaped scar for the rest of my life. FML

#21199181
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49110) - you deserved it (4644)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:40am - kids - by umerin - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my 11-year-old son and I took an IQ test for a laugh. To be honest, I've often suspected that I may have some form of mental retardation, but I didn't expect to get a score of 79, while he got one of 114. FML

#21198731
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41220) - you deserved it (6654)

On 07/04/2014 at 6:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, on my first day as a lifeguard, a man had a heart attack in the pool. I jumped in, pulled him out, and even went to the hospital with him. He seemed genuinely offended, saying "You should've let me die." FML

#21198585
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42904) - you deserved it (2976)

On 07/04/2014 at 3:04pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands

Today, I was at the gym, when I saw my uncle at the front desk. I quietly went up behind him and slapped him hard on the back while yelling "What's up, loser?!" He turned around. It wasn't my uncle. FML

#21198479
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25170) - you deserved it (38329)

On 07/04/2014 at 1:35pm - misc - by Oops - United States

Today, I found a wasp in my kitchen, so I opened the back door and left the room for 10 minutes in the hope that it would fly away. Upon returning, I found that there were now three wasps, a vicious cat and a very panicked pigeon crashing around the room. FML

#21197738
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39837) - you deserved it (16628)

On 07/03/2014 at 8:27pm - animals - by Snow-White (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my girlfriend asked me where I've always wanted to settle down, and I told her that Italy had always appealed to me. She snorted and told me what a bad idea that was, because "you don't speak French". FML

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead. She sent me one back. FML

#21196202
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41016) - you deserved it (23193)

On 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by boob sisters (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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