ctm987654321

Search for a member

ctm987654321

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 357
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

ctm987654321's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:16pm

ctm987654321's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

ctm987654321's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2011 at 10:04am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally noticed that my wife only shaves her bush when she goes on "business trips." FML

by ksmith / 08/09/2011 at 12:59am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I gave my dad a brochure for anger management. His response? Throwing a chair out the window. FML

by 99520 / 07/28/2011 at 11:25am / United States (Indiana) / Health

Today, some ballbag broke into my house just to take my broom. FML

by kelsjenks / 07/27/2011 at 9:50am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend put a paper bag over my head while we had sex. Her reason? Because she thinks she is so good in bed she was worried I'd hyperventilate due to all the excitement. Instead I fainted due to lack of oxygen after three minutes. FML

by quickfingers100 / 07/22/2011 at 9:38am / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my mom and her friends comparing the differences in their nipples. FML

by oliverP123 / 07/22/2011 at 12:11am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she thought I was cheating on her. With my own sister. FML

by Cinnamon / 07/17/2011 at 8:04pm / Jamaica (Saint Andrew) / Intimacy

Today, I had to endure a long story about how and why my brother shaves his pubes. FML

by Username / 07/17/2011 at 11:21am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, in front of family and friends, as I got down on one knee, my girlfriend fainted. Her father, a lawyer, rushed over and said, "Anything she says for the next 72 hours is not legally binding" and whisked her away. FML

by bigjohn106 / 07/17/2011 at 8:34am / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, a cute girl sat down next to me on the bus. She looked up at me, and then moved to the back. FML

by Ugh-Lee / 09/30/2010 at 11:07am / United States / Love

Today, my wife changed her facebook status from "married" to "widowed". I'm scared. FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2010 at 2:17pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, my mum grounded me for going to my boyfriend's house instead of the library. She said my boyfriend's mum phoned up because she could hear us having it off in his room. When I denied it my mum shouted at me for being a liar as well as a slut. I did go to the library. FML

by SingleGirl / 09/07/2009 at 11:39am / United Kingdom (York) / Love

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids