About csickcman : I 'You deserved it' when people are fat, have idiots/jerks for bf/gf, have cats or have dumb kids.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Today, I had a job interview. The only moment I impressed the interviewer was when I talked about drama. He started to talk about a play I hadn't seen, but I decided to agree on everything he was saying. Suddenly he said, "the play doesn't actually exist." I silently left the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6600) - you deserved it (22734)
On 10/05/2011 at 4:33pm - work - by Lyingg (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was playing video games at 2am. My guinea pig started squealing at me, and wouldn't stop until I turned out the lights and got into bed. I'm 20 years old, and I've let a rodent dictate my bedtime. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19902) - you deserved it (15041)
Today, my friends learned that if you play "connect the dots" with the pimples on my back the resulting picture is a large penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24977) - you deserved it (3568)
On 10/05/2011 at 12:08pm - misc - by Hoggiebear - United States (Georgia)
Today, in an incredibly busy shopping center bathroom with my 5 year-old niece, I was squatting over the toilet seat to avoid germs. My niece then says at the top of her voice, "Auntie, why are you sitting like a kangaroo?" I'd say the whole room pissed their pants laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17357) - you deserved it (5640)
On 10/05/2011 at 11:29am - kids - by Pissed (woman) - Australia
Today, after a long bike-ride home, I thought my roommate was being a douche and holding the door shut to our apartment. After about ten minutes of shoulder-slamming and name calling, I discovered that I just wasn't turning the key all the way, which I found out when my roomie came home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4868) - you deserved it (20437)
On 10/05/2011 at 4:59am - misc - by nooooooooob - United States (Nevada)
Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29609) - you deserved it (8309)
On 10/04/2011 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Username - United States
Today, while at work being a waitress, this lady came in and requested to sit in the section I was waitressing. She held up a $100 bill and told me that if I was attentive to her needs, she would leave me a $100 tip. Excited, I waited on her hand and foot. She dined and dashed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33419) - you deserved it (3656)
On 10/03/2011 at 9:05am - work - by moodyreallyrocks - United States (Kentucky)
Today, there was a guy following me, so to avoid him, I crouched down and basically waddled behind a wall to get past him. Sure enough, first thing I see when I get around the corner, while still waddling, was an unhappy midget couple staring right at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20321) - you deserved it (3765)
On 10/03/2011 at 8:37am - misc - by Mike Polk - United States
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me for the first time. He stopped just as I was about to orgasm, and asked if I could finish by myself. Apparently he'd come up with a new algorithm for the Rubik's Cube on my desk and wanted to try it out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29983) - you deserved it (3009)
On 10/03/2011 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Kayt (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I had a blind date with a really cute guy. Just when I was about to invite him back to my place for a nightcap, he took out a catalog of Russian mail-order brides and asked for my help in picking out the best one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20972) - you deserved it (2555)
On 10/03/2011 at 12:15am - love - by NotRussian (woman) - United States
Today, after reading about seduction techniques, I wore shades and a brightly colored shirt to a club to attract female attention. However, the sunglasses rendered me almost blind, and I tripped over a step, crashed into tables, and thanks to the shirt, everyone saw it happen in glorious technicolor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6700) - you deserved it (28398)
On 10/02/2011 at 9:34pm - misc - by hardtoignore - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I used a public restroom with very shiny floors. So shiny, in fact, that I could see a clear reflection of the person in the next stall. I'm pretty sure they could see me too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21926) - you deserved it (1936)
On 10/01/2011 at 10:18am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I learned no matter how much your friends pressure you, you must never snort lines of curry powder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6078) - you deserved it (43879)
On 10/01/2011 at 2:48am - health - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I found out the reason why my therapist was so nice to me all of the time. Apparently, she is afraid that I'm going to stab her if she pisses me off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18917) - you deserved it (3887)
On 09/27/2011 at 1:14am - health - by Josh - United States (Missouri)
Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14077) - you deserved it (22974)
On 09/26/2011 at 10:03pm - health - by Jesus (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
