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About csickcman : I 'You deserved it' when people are fat, have idiots/jerks for bf/gf, have cats or have dumb kids.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Today, while in the break room at work, I laughed at a co-worker's joke and started choking on my drink. My boss exclaimed in front of everyone, "We need to teach this girl how to swallow!" to everyone's childish amusement. Now they won't stop calling me Spit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12383) - you deserved it (1494)
On 05/11/2012 at 5:23pm - work - by mel (woman) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)
Today, the Star Wars Cantina song had been stuck in my head since I woke up, as my brother was humming it. I finally managed to get it out of my head. Then my mom started to whistle it. It's stuck in my head again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9905) - you deserved it (2148)
On 05/07/2012 at 7:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend gave birth to our first child. Our nurse was the lady I had a one night stand with 3 nights ago, and yes she remembered me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1872) - you deserved it (26667)
On 05/06/2012 at 9:44pm - intimacy - by T3STI (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, on the bus, I caught the eye of this ugly, sweaty girl giving me a death stare through the driver's mirror. I gave her a death stare back. Only then I realized I was staring at myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2593) - you deserved it (7784)
On 05/05/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by mhm (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while I was sneaking a boy out of my room at 2am, I ran into my mom sneaking a man into her room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7042) - you deserved it (2124)
On 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by dentistrygirl - United States
Today, I went on a picnic with my boyfriend's family. I thought it would be nice to wear my sundress and cowgirl boots. The wind repeatedly picked up my dress in front of everyone, including my boyfriend's seedy grandpa, who I have to admit can do a pretty good wolf-whistle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5531) - you deserved it (1732)
On 05/02/2012 at 2:34pm - misc - by EyeSeeYou (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3579) - you deserved it (12367) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)
Today, my boyfriend yet again unsuccessfully tried to hold in uncontrollable giggling every time I moaned or sighed during sex. He's 24. I'm terrified of his reaction should I ever reach an orgasm with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6007) - you deserved it (639)
On 05/01/2012 at 7:02am - intimacy - by epicsquishii (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while I was at work in a machine shop, I cut myself really bad. Not by any sharp tools, drills, or metals I work with. Just the soap dispenser. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5132) - you deserved it (950)
On 04/27/2012 at 1:49am - work - by Bullocks (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7186) - you deserved it (2882)
On 04/22/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by ultraattitude - United States (California)
Today, as I was washing my boyfriend's fishbowl, the fish did a Nemo and made an unholy leap down the drain. My immediate impulse was to flip the switch. Our kitchen now smells like mutilated fish and my boyfriend won't speak to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5576) - you deserved it (19291)
On 04/21/2012 at 2:01am - animals - by gimmeasalad - United States (California)
Today, I witnessed a car accident. Being an experienced paramedic, I rushed to the scene to see if anyone needed help. As I assessed the people involved, one of them pickpocketed me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7978) - you deserved it (446)
On 04/19/2012 at 6:33pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8766) - you deserved it (779)
On 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by lindsaykay - United States
Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4372) - you deserved it (8308)
On 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by lifeonfire12 (woman) - Canada
Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML
I agree, your life sucks (9871) - you deserved it (21783)
On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
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