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  • Town/Country : London, United Kingdom
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 980
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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crystalxuk's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - 12 hours ago<b>drirr</b> - yesterday at 3:51am<b>ARetardedSeal</b> - yesterday at 9:07pm<b>tengo</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 3:45pm<b>MindGames</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 4:01am<b>tittyboomboom</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 3:54am<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 11:10am<b>Bolai</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 8:15am<b>Mons</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 1:15am<b>KryptixSynyster1</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 12:18pm<b>A07</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 2:21am<b>DA_JUDGE123</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 1:03am<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 6:54pm<b>Soninuva</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 5:02pm<b>jtfrisch</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 10:40pm<b>Greatsoulme</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 5:18pm<b>orios105</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 1:40am<b>NineeCat</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 12:28am

Fucked!<b>drirr</b> - yesterday at 9:51am<b>tittyboomboom</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 9:54am<b>MindGames</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 4:32pm<b>A07</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 8:21am<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 12:55am<b>orios105</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 7:40am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 5:36am<b>cOOkiEzRgOOd</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 6:06am<b>philsh94</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 1:54am<b>jtfrisch</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 1:24am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 12:01am

crystalxuk's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of crystalxuk's badges

crystalxuk's favorite FMLs

Today, while jogging in the park, a confused elderly gentleman asked me for directions, so I told him how to get to where he needed to go. He paused for a long moment, then asked me if he could eat me out. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2016 at 12:16pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend got so baked, he thought I was in the washing machine. I came downstairs to find him sitting in a puddle of soaking wet clothes, crying about where I was. FML

by cutiecuppiecakez / 02/29/2016 at 4:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband, who has been in a coma for 5 weeks, woke up. When I went to visit him, the first thing he did was try and continue the argument we had been having before he crashed the car. FML

by anonymous / 02/25/2016 at 4:55pm / United States / Health

Today, my husband took a pill to make him last longer in bed. He did last longer. He went from 5 minutes to 7. FML

by sadandmad / 01/20/2016 at 11:09am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a father. Too bad I can't tell my wife. FML

by Anonymous / 01/09/2016 at 9:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I recently burned both my hands at work so I had to ask my husband for help changing my tampon, but he refused saying it would make him feel sick. This from the man who routinely sticks his tongue in my asshole when we have sex. FML

by anne / 01/07/2016 at 7:00am / Germany / Intimacy

Today, I learned that my girlfriend takes creepshots of me sleeping, and my mom likes them on her Instagram. FML

by Anonymous / 12/21/2015 at 9:56am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I finally overcame depression-induced writer's block. I was typing at a good speed and before I knew it had over a thousand words that I was reasonably proud of. Then I woke up. FML

by blackonblight / 11/11/2015 at 6:23am / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I learned the hard way that my boyfriend lied about getting a vasectomy before we met, in spite of knowing how phobic I am of pregnancy and kids. His defense? "I figured you'd change your mind someday, because all you chicks love babies." FML

by nocongratsneeded / 11/03/2015 at 10:23pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while on a walk during lunch, I urgently needed to pee. Not thinking I could make it back to the office, I slipped into some bushes to relieve myself. As I was going, I looked to the side and saw two coworkers staring back at me. They were having sex, and I'm there with my dick out. Awkward. FML

by Embarrassed ass. / 10/23/2015 at 12:05am / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, I was stabbed because a mugger got mad that I was broke. FML

Today, my son told me that he doesn't need to go to school because he doesn't need a job. It turns out he plans to get a life sentence in prison and live the rest of his life at the taxpayers' expense. FML

by Anonymous / 10/11/2015 at 12:20am / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, I'm staying at my grandparents' house. I went upstairs to grab my sketchbook to show off to my grandma. My grandpa is half-deaf, which I guess explains how he didn't hear me. I heard him though, jerking off and muttering the most disgusting sexual things about "Tara." I'm Tara. FML

by T-Bear / 10/07/2015 at 11:02am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years told me he had a surprise for me at midnight. I stayed up all night, not hearing from him. Finally I get a notification. Apparently, my midnight surprise is that I'm single. FML

by hunting7waves / 09/25/2015 at 1:31am / United States (Iowa) / Love

Today, my cat still loves me too much. He schedules his dumps for when I'm doing my makeup in the bathroom so he can stay with me. I either have to suffer the noxious odor or be late for work. This is a daily thing. FML