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crystalxuk

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crystalxuk

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  • Number of visits : 119
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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crystalxuk's page activity

Visits<b>mprovost420</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 10:01pm

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crystalxuk's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML

#21219246
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39140) - you deserved it (20037)

On 07/24/2014 at 11:59am - misc - by FML - United States (Virginia)

Today, I ran into my boyfriend of 5 years. The weird thing was that he was supposed to be in Iran. The even weirder thing was that he was with his wife and kids. FML

#21212869
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63665) - you deserved it (4835)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:49pm - love - by someonepleasehelpme (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML

#21210892
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49308) - you deserved it (3342)

On 07/16/2014 at 2:56pm - kids - by fuck you, kid (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was watching adult videos in my apartment. I'm deaf, so I didn't realize my volume was at full blast until I put my hand over the speaker. FML

#21206881
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52014) - you deserved it (10542)

On 07/12/2014 at 10:00am - intimacy - by weeping_angel_ - United States (New York)

Today, I got stood up on a date for three hours. I would have left much earlier but the whole time she had reassured me that she was on her way. And then I saw her tweeting about the pizza rolls she was making at home. FML

Today, I decided to bring down a very old fan from the attic. I plugged it in, and as soon as I turned it on, tiny spiders were blown all over my room. FML

#21206028
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45247) - you deserved it (16102)

On 07/11/2014 at 1:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49726) - you deserved it (6575)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML

#21194154
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28666) - you deserved it (41883)

On 06/30/2014 at 7:39pm - kids - by BaWanda (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML

#21192543
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59618) - you deserved it (4611)

On 06/29/2014 at 1:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

#21190484
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45866) - you deserved it (8286)

On 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, I ran into my girlfriend by chance while out shopping. She looked different than usual. Maybe it was the wedding ring she was wearing, or how she had her arm around another gentleman, gee, I don't know. That's two years of my life wasted. FML

#21168433
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61921) - you deserved it (5034)

On 06/09/2014 at 5:03pm - love - by wrecked (man) - United States

Today, my ex-girlfriend proposed to me, at my wedding. FML

#21158075
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53725) - you deserved it (7354)

On 05/31/2014 at 9:40am - love - by damn it rose (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my wife muttering "God, I want you so bad". Figuring she was either talking to me or longing for the second cumming of Christ, I turned over to see which. Turned out she was rubbing one out to some guy's Facebook photos on her phone. FML

#21157398
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57590) - you deserved it (6340)

On 05/30/2014 at 6:05pm - intimacy - by lahiros (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I saw a pair of eyes looking at me from my closet. Realizing it must be my cat, I called her. She immediately came out from under my bed. I can't find anything in my closet. FML

#21155508
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58809) - you deserved it (4553)

On 05/29/2014 at 2:46am - animals - by Idk (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally brought a girl home from college. While I was making her some coffee, my roommate came down in her underwear, pretended to be my girlfriend, and asked if we were having a threesome. My date left before I could explain, and my roommate thinks it's fucking hilarious. FML



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