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Offline (the 11/22/2015 at 6:10am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 768
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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crystalxuk's page activity

Visits<b>blackfire20</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 1:12am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 8:17am<b>DA_JUDGE123</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 1:03am<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 6:54pm<b>Soninuva</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 5:02pm<b>jtfrisch</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 10:40pm<b>Greatsoulme</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 5:18pm<b>orios105</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 1:40am<b>NineeCat</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 12:28am<b>apineapple</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 7:46pm<b>cOOkiEzRgOOd</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 12:06am<b>turkeybacon</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 8:00pm<b>kittina</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 5:06pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 5:12pm<b>philsh94</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 7:54pm<b>bkc1980</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 12:53am<b>ricardof</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 3:03pm<b>SpartyOnWayne</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 1:31am

Fucked!<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 12:55am<b>orios105</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 7:40am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 5:36am<b>cOOkiEzRgOOd</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 6:06am<b>philsh94</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 1:54am<b>jtfrisch</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 1:24am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 12:01am

crystalxuk's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of crystalxuk's badges

crystalxuk's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally overcame depression-induced writer's block. I was typing at a good speed and before I knew it had over a thousand words that I was reasonably proud of. Then I woke up. FML

Today, I learned the hard way that my boyfriend lied about getting a vasectomy before we met, in spite of knowing how phobic I am of pregnancy and kids. His defense? "I figured you'd change your mind someday, because all you chicks love babies." FML

Today, while on a walk during lunch, I urgently needed to pee. Not thinking I could make it back to the office, I slipped into some bushes to relieve myself. As I was going, I looked to the side and saw two coworkers staring back at me. They were having sex, and I'm there with my dick out. Awkward. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25055) - you deserved it (3502)

On 10/23/2015 at 12:05am - work - by Embarrassed ass. (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was stabbed because a mugger got mad that I was broke. FML

Today, my son told me that he doesn't need to go to school because he doesn't need a job. It turns out he plans to get a life sentence in prison and live the rest of his life at the taxpayers' expense. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27932) - you deserved it (3497)

On 10/11/2015 at 12:20am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I'm staying at my grandparents' house. I went upstairs to grab my sketchbook to show off to my grandma. My grandpa is half-deaf, which I guess explains how he didn't hear me. I heard him though, jerking off and muttering the most disgusting sexual things about "Tara." I'm Tara. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31704) - you deserved it (1837)

On 10/07/2015 at 11:02am - intimacy - by T-Bear (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years told me he had a surprise for me at midnight. I stayed up all night, not hearing from him. Finally I get a notification. Apparently, my midnight surprise is that I'm single. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27561) - you deserved it (1751)

On 09/25/2015 at 1:31am - love - by hunting7waves - United States (Iowa)

Today, my cat still loves me too much. He schedules his dumps for when I'm doing my makeup in the bathroom so he can stay with me. I either have to suffer the noxious odor or be late for work. This is a daily thing. FML

Today, my long-term girlfriend broke up with me because my hair "falls out" and I "will definitely be bald soon", even though it's not that bad. The same girl who I supported through her chemotherapy and gave her promises that I would stay with her no matter how she looked. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34636) - you deserved it (1772)

On 09/24/2015 at 7:52am - love - by lovedoesnotexist (man) - Belgium

Today, I got a mosquito bite on my wrist. Maybe I'm paranoid, but I am pretty sure mosquito bites are not supposed to start crawling up to your armpit while swelling. FML

Today, my scumfuck brother and his friends spent my baby sister's funeral snickering and telling dead baby jokes to one another. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40355) - you deserved it (1785)

On 09/18/2015 at 11:35pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I brought a boy home for the first time, only to have my dad ask him what his mother's maiden name was. When he answered, my dad exclaimed, "Oh yeah! I think I dated her in high school. I could be your father!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (25509) - you deserved it (1669)

On 09/14/2015 at 3:54pm - love - by meunluckycharms - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I received a call from my wife. It would've been great if she hadn't left on a business trip 3 years ago. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26777) - you deserved it (1456)

On 09/13/2015 at 10:22am - love - by TheLoneSoul - France

Today, a guy came into my gas station, showed me the gun on his hip, and asked me to kindly empty the register. My asshole boss claimed that because we live in an open carry state, and because the guy didn't point the gun at me, that there was no actual robbery and I just gave him free money. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30945) - you deserved it (2574)

On 09/13/2015 at 10:07am - work - by jobless (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that I moan too much when we have sex. I actually just fake my moans in an effort to cover the sound of my cracking hips. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24987) - you deserved it (5311)

On 09/13/2015 at 2:03am - intimacy - by Ugh - United States

C comme Line's illustrated FML

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  • Hi gang! It’s a day of national pride over near the FML offices. There's a time for everything, and even if the desire to piss about to release the tension is huge, we mustn’t forget that we can…

Friday 27 November 2015

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