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crystalxuk

Offline (the 08/30/2015 at 8:48am) | Search for a member

crystalxuk

4Fucked!

crystalxukcrystalxuk
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 564
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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crystalxuk's page activity

Visits<b>philsh94</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 7:54pm<b>bkc1980</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 12:53am<b>ricardof</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 3:03pm<b>SpartyOnWayne</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 1:31am<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 9:05pm<b>sullysair123</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 10:45pm<b>imyy</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 9:37am<b>jtfrisch</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 9:11am<b>Poohbear12345</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 4:48pm<b>conman317</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 2:09pm<b>rockwrench</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 9:21am<b>milehigh52</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 1:07am<b>Kels789</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 12:25am<b>FatKitty</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 12:17am<b>alfonze07</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 11:31pm<b>wakemeupplease</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 6:34pm<b>Raki_92</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 5:04pm<b>CVTTRVN</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 2:15pm

Fucked!<b>philsh94</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 1:54am<b>jtfrisch</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 1:24am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 12:01am

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crystalxuk's favorite FMLs

Today, I spent an hour trying to sleep before work, but I couldn't because my two dogs wouldn't stop barking. Completely pissed off, I finally went and told the little fuck nuggets to shut the shit up. I was then immediately knocked unconscious by the burglar in my house. FML

Today, a homeless man asked me for some change. Not having any cash, I gave him a gift card for the restaurant I work at. When I got home I realized I gave him my credit card. FML

Today, after nearly 2 years, my now ex-girlfriend decided she was ready to have sex. Specifically, sex with my dad. FML

#21459616
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26303) - you deserved it (1574)

On 08/23/2015 at 9:45am - love - by pontwa (man) - Australia

Today, I told my friend about a fight I had earlier with my girlfriend. He thought it'd be funny to use my phone while I was in the bathroom and text her "ure such a cunt". She wouldn't believe the truth, even when my friend confessed to her. She thought I paid him to take the fall. FML

#21459591
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21253) - you deserved it (2058)

On 08/23/2015 at 6:22am - love - by dumped (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, even after explaining to my boyfriend that I was self conscious about my breasts because they're slightly misshaped, he still persisted with begging me for a tit pic, saying he would still see me as beautiful. I gave in and sent one. He responded with "LOL WHAT ARE THOOOOOOSSSEE." FML

#21459438
162 comments

Today, after months of taking care of my grandma after a surgery, the doctors gave her a clean bill of health and I finally got to sleep in my own bed. She passed away while I was at home. FML

#21458841
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33589) - you deserved it (1555)

On 08/21/2015 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I told my parents that I finally managed to conceive. My mom burst into tears of joy and said how great it was that she's finally going to be a "real" grandma, all within earshot of our adopted and now-devastated daughter. FML

#21457997
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34908) - you deserved it (1865)

On 08/19/2015 at 11:00am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa

Today, my drill sergeant was yelling at me and asking me questions. I got a question wrong, and he asked me if I am a "Shit Sandwich". I replied "Yes sir, with extra cheese." I'm running miles till the day I die. FML

#21457342
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24578) - you deserved it (8954)

On 08/17/2015 at 9:55pm - work - by BarhydtBran - United States (California)

Today, after hearing the doctor saying my girlfriend can never be pregnant, I got a bit too excited. I'm currently on the 5th hour of the silent treatment. FML

#21457054
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17115) - you deserved it (35467)

On 08/17/2015 at 4:33am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she wants to have sex with my ass. I'm not sure she's taking "no" for an answer, seeing as how she's keeping a dildo on her nightstand and is clearly waiting for me to fall asleep. FML

#21456687
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25978) - you deserved it (2828)

On 08/16/2015 at 11:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML

#21456278
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29404) - you deserved it (3563)

On 08/15/2015 at 5:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at my grandmother's funeral, my senile grandfather kept asking me "Where's granny? I've been looking for her, but I can't find her." FML

#21455960
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31006) - you deserved it (1372)

On 08/14/2015 at 11:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark

Today, I was diagnosed with food poisoning for the third time since moving to this base in Japan. My husband keeps cooking questionable meat and vegetables from the commissary because he thinks the food from a Japanese grocery store is radioactive. FML

#21452616
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22018) - you deserved it (1690)

On 08/06/2015 at 4:33am - health - by ithinkimturningjapanese - United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East)

Today, I went over to talk to my boss. I must have snuck up on her because she was masturbating through her pants. She stopped and I had to chat away, pretending I didn't notice. FML

#21452257
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23475) - you deserved it (1870)

On 08/05/2015 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a bunch of friends and I went skinny dipping in a pond. The guys all grabbed the ladies' underpants and waved then around. My bloody pad was inside of one of them. FML

#21451285
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26425) - you deserved it (14028)

On 08/03/2015 at 11:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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