cryptic26

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Offline (the 03/18/2015 at 7:59pm)

cryptic26

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1151
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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cryptic26's page activity

Visits<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 8:15pm<b>djfiggz58</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 9:49am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 4:42pm<b>NoBothersForMe</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 11:06am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 7:42am<b>54MU31</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 10:50pm<b>badmandilon</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 10:47am<b>arich6210</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 8:31pm<b>NebulaNick</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 4:40pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 3:00am<b>thatoneninjadude</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 1:23am<b>LordGoober</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 5:11pm<b>captain_crook</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 3:17pm<b>tacojauns</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 2:42pm<b>stevieman99</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 6:11pm<b>OneGirlsLife</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 4:16pm<b>Loomunati</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 7:51pm<b>shardynfahey</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 7:27am

cryptic26's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of cryptic26's badges

cryptic26's favorite FMLs

Today, after the longest time, I went to the gym. I ran and ran and ran on the treadmill for an eternity, beating myself up for getting so overweight. Then I tripped and fell off, sweating and sobbing for being so useless. When I looked up, I saw I'd been on the machine for barely 2 minutes. FML

by Anonymous / 01/18/2015 at 11:34am / Ireland / Health

Today, I went on a date with the girl I like, to see The Fault In Our Stars. She didn't cry, but I did. Twice, hard. FML

by fredfredburger / 06/25/2014 at 1:45pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I went to spend my last $50 on gas, since I get paid in 5 days. I paid for the gas and stepped into the restroom briefly. I came out, only to discover that the attendant had put the gas on the wrong pump, and someone had used it for themselves. My tank is empty. FML

Today, I decided to face one of my fears. I've never had a birthday party, out of fear that nobody would come. I sent out a mass text inviting people out for my birthday, trying to sound casual. The only replies I received were along the lines of "Who the hell's this?" FML

by Anonymous / 04/30/2014 at 10:52am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally worked up the guts to add the guy I like on Facebook. To make it less obvious, I added 15 other people as well. Everyone added me back, except him. FML

Today, my friend saw a stamp on my hand and asked me which club I had gone to last night. I was so desperate to seem cool that I lied, instead of admitting it was actually from a children's play group that I took my kids to. FML

by lamemom / 04/05/2014 at 6:05pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Kids

Today, my mom brought her sleazy boyfriend home. He took one look at me, swatted my ass, and said, "It runs in the family." My mom just laughed and winked at me, and mouthed, "He's a keeper!" FML

by wiona / 04/03/2014 at 1:22pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, my boss decided to have the whole staff drug tested and fire everyone who failed. Out of an original staff of 14 people, only my boss, two coworkers and I remain. I now have four times my normal workload and am seriously thinking maybe I should've said "Yes" to drugs. FML

by bringthemback / 03/29/2014 at 6:34am / United States (South Carolina) / Work

Today, at my job as a bouncer at a music venue, a guy got his nose broken in a rowdy mosh pit. When I went to help him up and see if he was okay, he said, "It was an accident, please don't kick me out," but the word "please" came out as a hot spray of his blood across my face. FML

by ColoradoGirl420 / 03/24/2014 at 2:53pm / United States (Colorado) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was making a special birthday delivery for a customer. As I handed her the fruit basket, I said, "Hey, we have the same birthday! Happy birthday!" She called me an attention whore and slammed the door in my face. FML

by Ma_Nikka / 03/19/2014 at 9:38pm / United States (California) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my roommate's extremely loud and obnoxious alarm went off six times, waking me up each time, before she finally gave up on hitting the snooze button and went back to sleep for good. FML

by IMAWAKE / 03/17/2014 at 3:07pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went outside at 9am in my boxer shorts to get my mail in my garden. I'd put a shoe in the door to keep the door jammed open, but when I ran back, my dog had the shoe in his mouth and all the doors and windows were closed. FML

by gnafron / 12/31/2013 at 6:30am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Animals

Today, I met the guy I've been talking to online for two years in real life. He tried to convince me to have his children because they would be average height. He's a midget and I'm 6'2". This is the most romantic thing anybody has ever said to me. FML

by heightdifference / 11/28/2013 at 11:34am / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom, only to find my dad sitting on the toilet, blind drunk. He screamed "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" at me. I just wanted to shave. FML

by :/ / 11/05/2013 at 4:01pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom made fun of me because I'm 16 and have never had a boyfriend, then bragged that at my age she was already pregnant with me. FML

by roundtherose / 10/12/2013 at 9:59pm / United States (Alaska) / Miscellaneous