crushcrusher

Search for a member

Offline (the 07/22/2016 at 7:54pm)

crushcrusher

127Fucked!

crushcrushercrushcrusher
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 18 April 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6726
  • Number of comments : 65
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About crushcrusher : My favorite TV character once said, "the truth is, it's not love on which the strongest foundations are built, it's the decency of merciful lies." I kinda agree with him on that one or maybe it's just that bitterness is my middle name. I've been living long enough in my reveries: dating fictional characters, bands and medieval princes that sometimes I'd rather stay in my make-believe world. It's not healthy yeah but... Idk. Anyway, I'm nice so... *shrugs* ;)
twitter/instagram/smule: factiontraitor

crushcrusher's page activity

Visits<b>G3N1US</b> - yesterday at 4:07pm<b>SpartyOnWayne</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 3:00pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 5:37am<b>pyromaniac9</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 10:56pm<b>Adamjohn82</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 11:19am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 1:39am<b>newzealand</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 11:24am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 8:26am<b>zaidthunder1</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 11:39pm<b>Mr_Jah</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 4:20pm<b>slapstick1982</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 11:04pm<b>holymacabre</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 6:15pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 10:55am<b>2simz</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 3:26am<b>frankmz</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 12:57am<b>marshm610</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 12:55am<b>Cacksonic</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 11:18pm<b>nicolaslegrain</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 8:37pm

Fucked!<b>SpartyOnWayne</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 4:38am<b>Adamjohn82</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 4:33pm<b>lambda</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 6:52am<b>AngusEcrivain</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 5:35am<b>lujainkh</b> - the 07/04/2016 at 5:43pm<b>newzealand</b> - the 07/04/2016 at 12:24pm<b>csjc</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 8:46pm<b>zaidthunder1</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 4:21pm<b>slt36537</b> - the 06/24/2016 at 4:43am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 06/24/2016 at 2:16am<b>Mr_Jah</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 6:52am<b>AmbitiousMario</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 9:59am<b>jtorgey84</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 5:00am<b>andytan</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 2:02am<b>G3N1US</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 5:10pm<b>chewsef</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 4:02pm<b>james_logan</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 1:58pm<b>Jiratias</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 11:55am

crushcrusher's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

See all of crushcrusher's badges

crushcrusher's favorite FMLs

Today, at a public restroom, I caught my extremely eco-friendly daughter, who was on her period, looking through the trash. When I asked why, she said, "Because I'm looking for pads to use. It'll mean less garbage." I then had to lecture her in the public restroom about health and hygiene. FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2015 at 9:15pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I've been calling my girlfriend by her nickname for so long, I had to reactivate my Facebook account to find her real name. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2015 at 9:56am / India (Tamil Nadu) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to pull chunks of digested blanket out of my dog's ass because she refuses to listen to me when I tell her not to eat the damn blanket. I can't stop smelling it. FML

by LPS8585 / 08/31/2015 at 10:59pm / United States (California) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a fifth grader gave me a note from his "father" excusing him from PE. It was riddled with spelling errors and shockingly poor grammar, so I rejected it as a blatant fake. Several hours later, I was informed by his very angry father that it wasn't actually fake. FML

by shit.jpg / 08/25/2015 at 3:22pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I went on a blind date with a friend of a friend. It went okay, so we exchanged numbers. An hour later, he started messaging me, asking for pictures of my poop. What.. the... hell? FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2015 at 2:31pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I haven't shaved for so long the hair on my legs has split ends. FML

by ToddesPizza / 08/19/2015 at 9:00pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 4-year-old son's daycare called because he kissed a few girls. They explained he can't walk up and kiss little girls. I thought the situation was under control, until I was called an hour later to remove him from the premises for kissing little boys. FML

by stressedmom36 / 08/13/2015 at 7:50pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. It got hot and intense and we were really into it, until she blurted out, "Oh baby, rub your penis against mine". FML

Today, I went to a frozen yogurt stand with my dad. One of the flavors was called "Juicy Cherry." I had to stand there and watch in horror as he told the woman running the stand all about how he'd like to taste her juicy cherry. FML

by ppema / 07/31/2015 at 2:28pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I wanted to buy a pack of cigarettes. My wife, who didn't want me to get them, decided it would be a good idea to jump on the hood of the car while I was driving off. She hit the car and fell off. My neighbor saw this. Neither her nor the cops believe me when I say I didn't hit her. FML

by Just wanted a cigarette / 07/30/2015 at 10:06pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the store with my father. As we were leaving, he grabbed a baguette, put it by his crotch, and took a picture with his phone. I'm starting to feel like the parent here. FML

by EmbarrassedChild / 07/30/2015 at 7:24pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on a date, and I tried breaking the ice by telling him my best joke. He laughed hysterically for a good 10 seconds, started beating the table with his fist, then suddenly went deadpan and said "No, seriously, you're a moron. Screw this date." FML

by HAIL SITHIS / 07/24/2015 at 2:54pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while trying to score a date, I almost made a girl pass out. No, I didn't try to chloroform this one. I just came across as so pathetic that she laughed hard enough to have an asthma attack. FML

by Anonymous / 07/18/2015 at 11:45pm / Australia (Australian Capital Territory) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sent my long-distance boyfriend a heartfelt message about how much I missed him. He sent me back a picture of a Minion. FML

by anon / 07/17/2015 at 3:04am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, I had decided that I was ready to have sex with my boyfriend. So, I called him and told him how naughty I felt, only to realize that I had called my dad. FML

by EternalBlossom / 07/14/2015 at 1:03am / United States / Intimacy