Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

crushcrusher

Offline (11 hours ago) | Search for a member

crushcrusher

13Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 18 April 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 713
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About crushcrusher : I wonder what it be like to be a bacteria.

ig: factiontraitor

crushcrusher's page activity

Visits<b>CoGhostRider</b> - yesterday at 12:44pm<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 4:58pm<b>rabidpeach</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 2:47pm<b>Silentshdw13</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 1:57am<b>giantsfan2010</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 11:04am<b>spencer0150</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 10:29pm<b>harlz31</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 5:16pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 3:04pm<b>tstrass23g</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 10:47pm<b>zaynakins</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 6:24pm<b>ThatOneLoudGuy</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 1:29am<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 11:45pm<b>Lars93</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 8:46am<b>jsjelly07</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 10:46am<b>dustydick</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 5:10pm<b>Larry01</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 2:37pm<b>b5b0n36</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 12:16pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 5:16pm

Liked!<b>CoGhostRider</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 11:49am<b>giantsfan2010</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 5:22pm<b>hardflip95</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 8:17pm<b>kunal222</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 11:31pm<b>snowaholicmxz</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 11:52pm<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 4:42pm<b>Stazza11</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 12:31am<b>robertd73</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 6:06am<b>Deezknutz</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 9:25am<b>josh1310</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 6:20am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 2:21am<b>Wingman527</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 11:09pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 10:17pm

crushcrusher's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of crushcrusher's badges

crushcrusher's favorite FMLs

Today, I got home and found my wife cuddling with the dog and our new kitten. Both the cat and my wife hissed at me when I tried to join in. FML

#21298618
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31066) - you deserved it (3444)

On 11/13/2014 at 9:14pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, as I was waiting in line at the check out, some guy came up behind me, plucked a hair out of my head, and ran off with it. FML

#21295452
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31133) - you deserved it (2537)

On 11/09/2014 at 1:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend and I went shopping for an engagement ring. We ended up breaking up in the process. FML

#21289613
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38914) - you deserved it (6183)

On 11/01/2014 at 10:06am - love - by limegreengiraffe - United States (Texas)

Today, there was a laundry basket of my clothes sitting in my room. My dad asked me if they were clean or not. When I said I didn't know, he picked up a piece of my clothing, sniffed it, and said it smelled fine. That piece of clothing just so happened to be my underwear. FML

#21285867
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28345) - you deserved it (5332)

On 10/26/2014 at 8:05pm - misc - by socreepedouticanteven - United States (West Virginia)

Today, at my apartment complex, I was carrying a bag of trash up to the dumpster. A guy stopped his car and helped me carry it the rest of the way. I thanked him and he asked me out. I explained that I was married. He grabbed the trash bag and carried it back to my apartment. FML

#21285821
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35051) - you deserved it (3651)

On 10/26/2014 at 6:46pm - love - by mellielynnemily - United States

Today, let's just say it's not always a good idea to storm into your mum's bedroom after hearing several loud slaps accompanied by yelps. What sounds like domestic violence might just be your mum and step-dad's foreplay. For Christ's sake, I need brain bleach. FML

#21285126
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34132) - you deserved it (7695)

On 10/25/2014 at 5:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, as my boyfriend left my house, I gave him a long, tight hug. So tight that he threw up. FML

Today, after waiting for years for my oldest daughter to grow out of Twilight, my younger daughter discovered it. FML

#21281374
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32055) - you deserved it (3023)

On 10/19/2014 at 10:20pm - kids - by team hit bella with a car (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35547) - you deserved it (3731)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up to my roommate trying to put a burrito and a pack of mild sauce in between my boobs. He's only lived here for two weeks, and this is the second time I've woken up to him doing something like this. FML

#21278162
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39521) - you deserved it (4646)

On 10/15/2014 at 2:27am - misc - by burritobreasts -

Today, I watched from my office window as a couple maneuvered their car to squash a dead pigeon flat on the road. I then watched as they got out of the car, set up tripods and started taking photos of it. FML

Today, I went to my grandma's yard sale, only to find my baby pictures being sold for 25 cents each. FML

#21275511
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39406) - you deserved it (2991)

On 10/11/2014 at 10:43am - misc - by Forge (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to talk dirty to my boyfriend, after he promised not to laugh at me. All seemed well, until I heard laughter. It wasn't him, though; it was his family listening from the other room. FML

#21275034
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37922) - you deserved it (5737)

On 10/10/2014 at 3:33pm - intimacy - by TalkDirtyToMe - New Zealand

Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I noticed he looked uncomfortable. When I asked what was wrong, he asked when the last time I shaved was. I answered, "I shaved my legs this morning." He shook his head and said, "No, I meant your face." FML

#21274726
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33724) - you deserved it (5104)

On 10/10/2014 at 1:52am - love - by Jasmine (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: