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crushcrusher

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crushcrusher

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 18 April 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 321
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About crushcrusher : I dream of a better tomorrow where chickens can cross the streets without being questioned of their motives.

ig: factiontraitor

crushcrusher's page activity

Visits<b>newnightsky</b> - 6 hours ago<b>TrAG3dY</b> - 6 hours ago<b>ashleylove0525</b> - yesterday at 9:36pm<b>coolsoccer1234</b> - yesterday at 8:19pm<b>benjamins39</b> - yesterday at 2:16pm<b>hong94</b> - yesterday at 1:50pm<b>Al3xv3l92</b> - yesterday at 1:03am<b>birdybirdchirp</b> - yesterday at 11:51pm<b>_Berserk_</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 11:20pm<b>MarcoLoco</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 10:44pm<b>emmaaadotcom</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 10:31pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 10:11pm<b>muslimpride</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 9:40pm<b>AlexKing17</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 8:20pm<b>fiesta_balls</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 6:39pm<b>tsunami12</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 6:28pm<b>xJAGx1505x</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 6:19pm<b>YTfangirl</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 5:05pm

crushcrusher's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of crushcrusher's badges

crushcrusher's favorite FMLs

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

#21250558
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15989) - you deserved it (2963)

On 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my 8 year old son asked me why he had to make his bed everyday if he would just use it again. I replied with, "You flush the toilet even though you're going to use it again, right?" He said, "Good point." Now he's not making his bed or flushing the toilet. FML

#21248169
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31747) - you deserved it (7765)

On 08/29/2014 at 10:54pm - kids - by sam_666777 - United States (New York)

Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML

#21247953
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35529) - you deserved it (4873)

On 08/29/2014 at 4:15pm - intimacy - by SCARRED (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, it was my great aunt's funeral. We all had to wait two hours for the service to begin, because they forgot to dig the grave. FML

#21247920
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34002) - you deserved it (2121)

On 08/29/2014 at 2:54pm - misc - by abbshows (man) - United States

Today, my parents sat me down and told me that I'm adopted. I took it in stride, and reassured them that as far as I'm concerned, they're my true parents. That annoyed them. Apparently the whole thing was a prank for a YouTube video, which I ruined by not crying or freaking out. FML

#21247893
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40087) - you deserved it (2630)

On 08/29/2014 at 2:09pm - kids - by hannahka (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as I got out the shower, my mom walked in to give me a towel, then quickly covered her eyes and said, "Woah, I almost saw your penis. Good things it's ridiculously small." I had friends over, and I'm pretty sure I'll hear about this for at least the next month. FML

Today, I had to flush someone else's shit in the public washroom at work. It was so vile, I didn't want to get anywhere near it, so flushed it with my foot, only for it to slip off the handle and into the toilet. FML

#21244424
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35696) - you deserved it (12253)

On 08/24/2014 at 1:31pm - work - by Alisterine - United States (Missouri)

Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML

#21242424
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36946) - you deserved it (6702)

On 08/21/2014 at 12:36pm - misc - by royallymessedup -

Today, my dad and I got into an argument, and he ended up calling me a son of a bitch. My mom heard and started arguing with him over him calling her a bitch. Three hours later, I'm now staying at my gran's house with my mom and hoping her threats of a divorce weren't for real. FML

#21241796
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39047) - you deserved it (2949)

On 08/20/2014 at 4:08pm - misc - by sonofaneuroticwench (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I learned that when someone is choking you don't do the "hymen maneuver", you do the "heimlich maneuver". I was corrected by my girlfriend's parents. FML

#21240474
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31008) - you deserved it (13652)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:29pm - misc - by FANZZY - United States (New York)

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

#21239517
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41881) - you deserved it (13578)

On 08/17/2014 at 2:15am - kids - by you ripped them off ages ago (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I hooked up with a girl at a club, and we had sex. She just lay there like a corpse the whole time. It got so bad, I ended up faking an orgasm and blaming the lack of semen on a botched vasectomy. She actually believed it. What the hell? FML

#21235982
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38940) - you deserved it (9094)

On 08/12/2014 at 4:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38036) - you deserved it (23385)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." FML

#21218442
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49597) - you deserved it (11720)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was scrubbing the bloody aftermath of a successful mouse trap off of my stove with an old toothbrush. After a few good scrubs, out of habit I put the toothbrush in my mouth while I turned on the water. FML



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