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crowingfml
  • Town/Country : Claremont, where the ticky tacky people come from, United States..
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 18 September 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 1007
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About crowingfml : Coheed and Cambria .
My name is Chris and i think this is better than myspace, facebook, etc.
Message me =]

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crowingfml's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that even though they say that an apple a day keeps the doctor away, it doesn't keep him from putting a Q-tip up your ass. FML

#8994102
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17084) - you deserved it (2742)

On 03/11/2010 at 9:44am - health - by captainkevineff - United States

Today, I learned not to jump off a stage if nobody is going to catch you. FML

#8941097
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5765) - you deserved it (31208)

On 03/09/2010 at 6:14am - health - by oww - United States (Virginia)

Today, my 2 year old had a large booger blocking his nose so I pulled it out. I was on the phone and absentmindedly rolling it around between my thumb and pointer finger. I put it in my mouth and crushed it between my teeth for a solid minute before I remembered what it was. FML

#8608911
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7316) - you deserved it (56917)

On 02/24/2010 at 2:45am - kids - by janesays (woman) - United States

Today, my boss made me some tortellini for lunch. As I was happily eating it, he started to give me a massage, while talking to his friends in Greek. He told me that he said "She's my #1 cashier." Turns out, what he really said was "See, if you feed them well, they let you touch them." FML

#8576368
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24785) - you deserved it (4986)

On 02/23/2010 at 12:17am - work - by meaganlea (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I sneezed while I was throwing up into the toilet. It turns out that throwing up is even less pleasant when the puke violently shoots out through your nose. FML

#8554799
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28096) - you deserved it (1995)

On 02/22/2010 at 2:32pm - health - by mynoseburns (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, after having my bath, I realised that I've gotten so fat that I have to lift up my butt cheeks in order to dry underneath them. FML

#8466183
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7237) - you deserved it (34597)

On 02/20/2010 at 1:09am - health - by fatflabbyfail - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I received a bouquet of flowers. I thought they might be from my crush, so I excitedly opened the card. It was from my druggie ex-boyfriend, who apparently can't move on with his life even after three years. The contents of the card? "Baby, I got you like a habit, and I can't give you up". FML

#8250207
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16405) - you deserved it (2260)

On 02/14/2010 at 1:52pm - love - by RosesAreRed (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my doctor put me on some extra strength antibiotics for an infection. On the label it says "WARNING: may cause Diarrhea"... 'may cause' is a funny term... this is the second time I've sharted in my pants today. FML

#8153486
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17964) - you deserved it (2553)

On 02/12/2010 at 12:11am - health - by NotSoSick (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out the crappy shampoo I've been borrowing from my girlfriend is actually "feminine wash." FML

#8140774
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4302) - you deserved it (20501)

On 02/11/2010 at 7:47pm - misc - by SummersEve (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was hit on by an older man. I rolled my eyes at him and informed him I was 16, hoping that would get him to leave me alone. He shrugged and said, "We're both human." FML

#8103902
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23552) - you deserved it (2764)

On 02/10/2010 at 8:39pm - misc - by creepster (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was in class and noticed that it smelled strongly of cat urine. I smelled my shoulder and realized that my cat had peed on my sweater. I had six hours of classes left, and the smell had permeated my shirt. FML

#8094791
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19039) - you deserved it (5129)

On 02/10/2010 at 4:19pm - animals - by snickerdoodles (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was checking the Facebook event page to see who is attending the party I am having this weekend, since my parents are going out of town. 1 person has confirmed. My mom. FML

#8052181
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8112) - you deserved it (31721)

On 02/09/2010 at 1:52pm - misc - by fbcaught (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went out for dinner with some friends to a new restaurant. As I was finishing the soup, I noticed a small curly hair at the bottom of the soup. The chef is bald. FML

#7967999
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22376) - you deserved it (1570)

On 02/07/2010 at 9:19am - misc - by Anonymous - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, my dog accidentally crapped on her leash. When I flicked the leash to get the poo off, it went flying. Have you ever had warm poo hit you in the face on a cold day when there's 6 inches of snow on the ground? I have. FML

#7913686
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20316) - you deserved it (8105)

On 02/05/2010 at 7:50pm - animals - by doggie_doo_face (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML

#7391699
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40314) - you deserved it (4323)

On 01/17/2010 at 1:22am - health - by Concussed (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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