crotchpheasant

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crotchpheasant

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 1366
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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crotchpheasant's FML badges

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crotchpheasant's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking home from when I passed an old woman sitting on the curb of Walmart begging for change. I gave her my last dollar and felt good about it. Five minutes later I saw the same woman driving away in a car. I don't even own a car. FML

by NotSteve / 04/18/2009 at 4:19am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend sent me a text telling me to turn the radio on to a certain station. When I did, there was a talk show on, and the host was ranting about how important it is for women to control themselves and not be emotional. My boyfriend continued texting me, asking if I was listening. FML

by Anonymous / 04/03/2009 at 12:17am / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I was at QuickTrip. As I was leaving, I passed a woman who was saying "stay" very sternly through her open driver's side door. I smiled as I passed, saying "Your dog wants to follow you huh? I've been there." She glared at me and said "No. That's my son. He's mentally challenged." FML

by Anonymous / 03/26/2009 at 7:39pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, I heard back from my store management interview at Target. I was offered an overnight stock clerk position. When I called HR to find out if my application was in the wrong file I was told I lack the leadership qualities necessary for Target. I graduated with honors from a military school. FML

by yanksbitethebig1 / 03/15/2009 at 9:09pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, to remind myself to write a check for my speech and debate team (Lynbrook Speech and Debate), I wrote "LSD money" on the back of my hand. The Vice Principal saw it, dragged me to the office, and called my parents. FML

by gonkc / 03/04/2009 at 2:05am / United States (California) / Money

Today, I came to work, to find my creepy boss sitting in my office. I work the night shift, so very unusual to find him there. I asked how he was, and he replied, "I told my wife about us; she kicked me out." I've been working there a month. Also, I'm married and pregnant. So, excuse me, "US?" FML

by oh_mylanta / 03/02/2009 at 4:10am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML

by addictedtofml / 02/24/2009 at 2:31am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy