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critzm

Offline (the 05/20/2015 at 3:22pm) | Search for a member

critzm

0Fucked!

critzmcritzm
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 471
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About critzm : Orlando, FL

critzm's page activity

Visits<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 11:35am<b>michaelf461</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 8:21pm<b>metallica_wins</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 1:03am<b>that_dancer13</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 10:43pm<b>Kyra1</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 10:55pm<b>princesshaleigh</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 10:22pm<b>WubStep_</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 9:47pm<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 8:11pm<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 8:10pm<b>BabyFranco</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 8:56pm<b>acidicthinking</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 1:38am<b>JillianBall</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 10:39pm<b>seninaa</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 3:47pm<b>Miooow</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 8:56pm

critzm's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of critzm's badges

critzm's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

#20523671
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44902) - you deserved it (5627)

On 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by Frostbitten (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I got stuck in traffic when a shootout started somewhere behind. I lowered myself and suddenly a bullet punctured a hole in the rear screen. When I managed to get away, I called my wife in a panic. She didn't pick up so I sent her a text about what just happened. Her reply: "K". FML

#20522482
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56403) - you deserved it (4140)

On 02/25/2013 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by n3ov (man) - Pakistan (Islamabad)

Today, I was giving my guy a blowjob. When he blurted out, "Oh Jesus" I assumed I was doing a good job. I looked up to see the expression on his face and noticed a look of terror. He was staring at my growling cat, two seconds away from clawing his face off. FML

#20514475
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39556) - you deserved it (5561)

On 02/20/2013 at 1:55am - intimacy - by jealouspussy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went in to get my first tattoo. I'd put a lot of thought into it and was really excited when the day came. Long story short, the Celtic knot I'd gotten turned out to have an alternate meaning of "female sex slave." The faces my very Irish family made were beyond words. FML

#20511821
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18528) - you deserved it (46399)

On 02/18/2013 at 3:50am - intimacy - by UnluckyInk (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML

#20480168
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45879) - you deserved it (4752)

On 01/26/2013 at 6:50pm - intimacy - by movingout - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I took a picture of my "privates" on my girlfriends cell phone and set it as her background without her knowing. Minutes later, I heard her mom scream. She has the same phone. FML

#7492476
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7873) - you deserved it (36654)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:25am - intimacy - by masterzach21 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bear to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

#1815627
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (446635) - you deserved it (64225)

On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425
704 comments

I agree, your life sucks (736647) - you deserved it (56722)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

#784043
474 comments

I agree, your life sucks (427712) - you deserved it (67766)

On 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by rebekah (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

#361047
1271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (688467) - you deserved it (461139)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)



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Friday 22 May 2015

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