critzm

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Offline (the 12/06/2016 at 6:23pm)

critzm

10Fucked!

critzmcritzm
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 20 January 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1485
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About critzm : Orlando, FL. Message me. SC : czjaquin

critzm's page activity

Visits<b>imahobbitlol</b> - yesterday at 3:18pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 12/07/2016 at 11:07am<b>Mons</b> - the 12/07/2016 at 10:25am<b>single_20</b> - the 12/07/2016 at 12:42am<b>chokolada</b> - the 12/06/2016 at 11:15am<b>kujiens101</b> - the 12/06/2016 at 12:43am<b>herecomestheboom</b> - the 12/04/2016 at 11:26pm<b>Gabygonzalez9211</b> - the 12/04/2016 at 5:37pm<b>FitFriday</b> - the 12/02/2016 at 12:28pm<b>missa8604</b> - the 12/01/2016 at 3:47pm<b>megsterr413</b> - the 12/01/2016 at 9:25am<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 12/01/2016 at 2:35am<b>NicoleErin</b> - the 11/29/2016 at 10:30pm<b>bruhhhhhhh</b> - the 11/29/2016 at 2:36am<b>Jesmassimo</b> - the 11/28/2016 at 7:41pm<b>skyler24</b> - the 11/28/2016 at 12:10am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 11/25/2016 at 8:49pm<b>ahmadmad</b> - the 11/25/2016 at 3:56pm

Fucked!<b>imahobbitlol</b> - the 11/29/2016 at 6:12pm<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 11/29/2016 at 7:24am<b>megsterr413</b> - the 11/18/2016 at 2:42pm<b>rabijabegic</b> - the 11/18/2016 at 1:09pm<b>Michelle1121</b> - the 11/18/2016 at 11:08am<b>delilablue95</b> - the 11/18/2016 at 7:40am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 11/17/2016 at 7:15pm<b>Gabygonzalez9211</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 2:48am<b>blahblah005</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 5:04am

critzm's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of critzm's badges

critzm's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a letter from Yale law school saying I got a 4 year full scholarship. I called my dad crying and read the whole thing... even the bottom, which said, "April fools! Love mom and dad." FML

by madiison09 / 04/01/2013 at 1:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's a screamer. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her, because he immediately came over and started savaging me. FML

by Anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 2:26pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, while making love to my boyfriend for the first time, I moaned his name. He freaked out over how I wasn't over my ex, and angrily left. They have the same name. FML

by nraecher / 03/23/2013 at 12:43am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML

by fredo / 03/19/2013 at 8:31am / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy

Today, it was my first time with my boyfriend, at his house, in his Dora the Explorer sheets. FML

by inconnue / 03/18/2013 at 6:34pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love

Today, while I was going down on my husband, our 3-year-old daughter woke up and started crying from the other room. He practically burst into tears too, whining that she was doing it on purpose to ruin his fun. He was serious. FML

by Anonymous / 03/15/2013 at 6:28am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML

by Lilypad / 03/11/2013 at 8:21pm / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

by RedWaters / 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I decided to come onto my husband to switch things up. When I started kissing and trying to undress him, he pushed me off, saying "What're you doing? Jeopardy's about to start." FML

by married an old man / 03/05/2013 at 12:57pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML

by sn-511 / 03/01/2013 at 5:54pm / Italy (Campania) / Intimacy

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

by Frostbitten / 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, I got stuck in traffic when a shootout started somewhere behind. I lowered myself and suddenly a bullet punctured a hole in the rear screen. When I managed to get away, I called my wife in a panic. She didn't pick up so I sent her a text about what just happened. Her reply: "K". FML

by n3ov / 02/25/2013 at 11:33pm / Pakistan (Islamabad) / Intimacy

Today, I was giving my guy a blowjob. When he blurted out, "Oh Jesus" I assumed I was doing a good job. I looked up to see the expression on his face and noticed a look of terror. He was staring at my growling cat, two seconds away from clawing his face off. FML

by jealouspussy / 02/20/2013 at 1:55am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I went in to get my first tattoo. I'd put a lot of thought into it and was really excited when the day came. Long story short, the Celtic knot I'd gotten turned out to have an alternate meaning of "female sex slave." The faces my very Irish family made were beyond words. FML

by UnluckyInk / 02/18/2013 at 3:50am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML

by movingout / 01/26/2013 at 6:50pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy