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critzm

Offline (the 05/20/2015 at 3:22pm) | Search for a member

critzm

0Fucked!

critzmcritzm
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 472
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About critzm : Orlando, FL

critzm's page activity

Visits<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 11:35am<b>michaelf461</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 8:21pm<b>metallica_wins</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 1:03am<b>that_dancer13</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 10:43pm<b>Kyra1</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 10:55pm<b>princesshaleigh</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 10:22pm<b>WubStep_</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 9:47pm<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 8:11pm<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 8:10pm<b>BabyFranco</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 8:56pm<b>acidicthinking</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 1:38am<b>JillianBall</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 10:39pm<b>seninaa</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 3:47pm<b>Miooow</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 8:56pm

critzm's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of critzm's badges

critzm's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML

#21195046
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51541) - you deserved it (4416)

On 07/01/2014 at 1:31pm - love - by carebear1228 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that just because you live on a different continent, it doesn't mean your mother won't come knocking when you are having sex. FML

#20989004
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53436) - you deserved it (4622)

On 12/11/2013 at 2:59pm - intimacy - by hi Mum - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend wants to make a video of us having sex for us to watch later and figure out how to improve our skills in bed. The problem is her choice of cameraman: her uncle. FML

#20978171
205 comments

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

#20900698
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64666) - you deserved it (26703)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by -___- (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that the nice guy who comes to my workplace every morning to bring me a smoothie also makes a point of putting his knob in it before giving it to me. Also, all my coworkers knew about this and think it's hilarious. FML

#20895155
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44165) - you deserved it (4156)

On 09/24/2013 at 11:51pm - work - by littledipper - United States (New York)

Today, my fiancée called off our wedding, because she found out I had sex with another woman. Three years before we even met. FML

#20878703
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66575) - you deserved it (7198)

On 09/12/2013 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by Crazy Crazy Crazy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, whilst driving past a cyclist, I thought it would be funny to make him jump by blasting my horn right behind him and then driving off. I guess he thought it would be funny to catch up with me, yank off my wing-mirror, and hurl it through the open window at my face. FML

Today, my water broke while my boyfriend was breaking up with me. FML

#20649270
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73750) - you deserved it (6562)

On 05/08/2013 at 1:41am - health - by Carrie - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my wife is having an affair with the same guy my ex-wife left me for. FML

#20645479
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90311) - you deserved it (5659)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Ireland (Donegal)

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

#20644821
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64902) - you deserved it (5970)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

Today, I walked in on my sister apparently trying to eat herself out. FML

#20637584
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72001) - you deserved it (8071)

On 05/02/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by future brain bleach addict (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my bathroom flooded. I frantically cleaned my apartment as fast as I could before the plumber arrived. Everything was finally clean when I let him in. It wasn't until after he finished that I noticed I'd left my anal beads in the shower. There's no way he didn't notice. FML

#20634924
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28508) - you deserved it (55143)

On 05/01/2013 at 2:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend was watching TV, when we started getting frisky. I'd just started to give him a blowjob when he pushed me off and said, "Fun's over." Dragon Ball Z had just come back on. He's 21. FML

#20632729
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57424) - you deserved it (15017)

On 04/30/2013 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by SecondBest,IGuess (woman) - United States

Today, I got caught masturbating, twice, by the same person. FML

#20627981
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33722) - you deserved it (69587)

On 04/28/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Saudi Arabia

Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML

#20624343
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63587) - you deserved it (14282)

On 04/27/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States



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