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cristianramos's FML badges
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cristianramos's favorite FMLs
by dry spell / 07/02/2013 at 12:17pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about having a boyfriend. I asked her, "Did he take his shirt off?" She promptly said no. A few minutes later, she said, "But he did take his pants off." I then asked why. She said, "To show me his penis." FML
by joe / 06/23/2013 at 7:36pm / United States (Maryland) / Kids
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- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…
- Today, I woke up to discover that the guy I hooked up with last night did indeed have a mullet. FML Today, I sneezed seven times in a row. That's the closest thing I've had to an orgasm in months. FML Today, I was late to dinner with my anal-retentive parents because my boyfriend was too busy making…
- Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because… Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.… Today, my phone provider informed me that I had 12 messages waiting for me on my voicemail. Happy…