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crissalove's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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crissalove's favorite FMLs
by hrmpf / 01/19/2016 at 9:37am / Germany (Bremen) / Miscellaneous
Today, I visited my boyfriend's uncle's house for a party. His 8 year old cousin started asking if I like penis, so my reaction was to laugh, spitting my drink on her and her new dress. She can't pronounce peanuts, and I can't visit anymore. FML
by me / 01/02/2016 at 3:25am / United States (Louisiana) / Kids
by Anonymous / 02/14/2015 at 7:34pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids
by longdrive / 10/14/2014 at 1:17am / United States (California) / Transportation
by immature / 09/18/2014 at 3:20pm / United Kingdom (Reading) / Work
Today, I tried to pull the old "bucket of water above the door" prank on my brother, but the bucket didn't fall when he opened the door. He noticed it, took it down, then pinned me to the floor and waterboarded me with the ice-cold water. FML
by Anonymous / 09/05/2014 at 5:37pm / Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boss had a lengthy and obnoxiously egocentric conversation with a colleague. After she left across the office, I stood up, looked over at my colleague, and made a sarcastic "shooting myself in the head" gesture. I saw my boss staring at me over a cubicle wall as I turned around. FML
by bademployee / 08/12/2014 at 7:16pm / United States (Oregon) / Work
by TCRII / 07/23/2014 at 7:52pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
by pissed off / 05/16/2014 at 8:33pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/20/2014 at 12:03am / United States (Idaho) / Animals
Today, on my way to Burger King I got into a heated discussion with my wife about our cats. We have 15 rescues, and I've reached my limit. Guess what came running up to my car while waiting in the drive-through. We named him Pickles. FML
by cat whisperer / 03/20/2014 at 12:31am / United States / Animals
Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML
by well SHIT / 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by awkward / 02/22/2014 at 12:39am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was at the mall with a couple of friends when we saw a couple of cute boys. I made eye contact with the cutest one. Flustered, I giggled, only to send a wad of snot flying out of my nose. FML
by Anonymous / 02/21/2014 at 9:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by begging for air / 02/20/2014 at 12:45pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I had sex with a guy I had wanted for awhile. Or I think it counts as sex. Really, I thought… Today, my husband asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I told him I didn't want anything I just… Today, I discovered our dog anxiety-sharts in his sleep. I found this out after a couple nights of…