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crissalove

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crissalove
  • Town/Country : San Ramon, CA
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 15 November 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 165
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

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crissalove's favorite FMLs

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

#21117679
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41547) - you deserved it (3650)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, on my way to Burger King I got into a heated discussion with my wife about our cats. We have 15 rescues, and I've reached my limit. Guess what came running up to my car while waiting in the drive-through. We named him Pickles. FML

#21091449
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41166) - you deserved it (8654)

On 03/20/2014 at 12:31am - animals - by cat whisperer - United States

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML

#21073315
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24171) - you deserved it (53361)

On 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm - misc - by well SHIT (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having some kinky sex with my girlfriend. When I said "You've been a bad girl", she looked at me wide-eyed and asked very seriously, "What did I do?" FML

#21068134
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43678) - you deserved it (7349)

On 02/22/2014 at 12:39am - intimacy - by awkward (man) - United States

Today, I was at the mall with a couple of friends when we saw a couple of cute boys. I made eye contact with the cutest one. Flustered, I giggled, only to send a wad of snot flying out of my nose. FML

#21067978
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40437) - you deserved it (6942)

On 02/21/2014 at 9:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to the arcade with my dad, and we decided to try out the hurricane simulator, which blasts 60mph air around in an enclosed space. My dad farted halfway through. FML

#21066497
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42137) - you deserved it (4476)

On 02/20/2014 at 12:45pm - misc - by begging for air - United States (Oregon)

Today, a woman pushed a stroller in front of my car. Thinking I'd hit someone, I jumped out. Turns out it was a doll. The "woman" was a 14-year-old girl, claiming, "I did it for the Vine!" FML

#21058421
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47919) - you deserved it (3548)

On 02/12/2014 at 7:52pm - misc - by Parusu - United States (Florida)

Today, was my first day as a male cheerleader in an attempt to flirt. The girls were stronger than me and it's now my job to be thrown in the air by girls. FML

#21017728
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39084) - you deserved it (31461)

On 01/05/2014 at 11:16am - love - by give me an F - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML

#20942769
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53862) - you deserved it (5097)

On 11/02/2013 at 5:10pm - kids - by unknown (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that my phone fits perfectly through the slot between the elevator and the floor. FML

#20921212
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45392) - you deserved it (4196)

On 10/15/2013 at 2:37am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the girl I like sent me a nude photo of herself. Being a photographer, all I could think about was how grainy the photo was, and the various ways it could be fixed. FML

#20889340
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39871) - you deserved it (17747)

On 09/20/2013 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while driving with my puppy in the passenger seat, he jumped out of the window. FML

#20124915
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18079) - you deserved it (23136)

On 10/20/2012 at 3:16am - animals - by puppylove - United States

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML

#19335521
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24660) - you deserved it (5198)

On 03/23/2012 at 10:30pm - intimacy - by justgreat - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML

#18912466
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30854) - you deserved it (3352)

On 01/25/2012 at 11:18pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

#18451653
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11914) - you deserved it (39019)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States



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