criss90

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Offline (the 01/02/2015 at 5:13am)

criss90

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 27 December 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2663
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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criss90's page activity

Visits<b>pred8885</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 9:03am<b>SunshineBoy</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 4:31pm<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 9:01pm<b>kannan4</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 4:14am<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 2:36pm<b>gabix3</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 1:28am<b>Devindelon</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 10:38pm<b>scottyboy417</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 2:06pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 11:42am<b>Brandi_Faith</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 3:29pm<b>xnikkilynn</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 1:06pm<b>Mikeymikey</b> - the 12/11/2009 at 1:20am

Fucked!<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 3:01am

criss90's FML badges

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criss90's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that when you flush an animal clear of blood for research, there is a nerve inside the heart, which when you strike it right, electrical signals cause the animal to writhe as if alive. Now, my boss knows about my fear of zombies, and I'm now terrified of half my job. FML

by kittkatt1 / 11/10/2013 at 8:52pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

by thank god you'll only live once / 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, my husband and I were watching Jurassic Park. At the end of the movie, he commented on how amazed he was that they could "train those dinosaurs" to do exactly what they wanted them to do. FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2013 at 1:01pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, my wife ate nothing all day due to her morning sickness, but I tried to get her to eat something light, for our baby's sake. I brought her a banana. She yelled at me for being a "pervert" and accused me of just wanting to watch her stick a phallic object in her mouth. FML

by Anonymous / 10/27/2013 at 12:08pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, as a science teacher, I did a science experiment in front of a class. One of my students asked me if it was "photoshopped." He was being serious. FML

by jdawn99 / 10/22/2013 at 10:24am / United States (Kansas) / Kids

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML

by Kyra.45 / 10/03/2013 at 6:46pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, my two parrots decided that my head was the best place to have sex. FML

by NestHead / 10/01/2013 at 1:32pm / Russian Federation (Moscow City) / Animals

Today, the boy who loved me and left me literally became the poster boy for my college. His picture is on the home page of the college website and on a banner in the cafeteria where I eat every day. FML

by justonce / 09/23/2013 at 6:38pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I got a text from someone I met last night at a bar. We texted all day and planned to meet up later. The whole time I had in my mind who he was, but when we met up it was someone completely different that I didn't remember. I had to sit through the whole date pretending I knew him. FML

by MixMastaKDizzle / 09/23/2013 at 4:23am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my husband refused to let our 7-week-old daughter have a pacifier, because he doesn't want her growing up to be a "whore." FML

Today, my dad made a big show of sending me to my room and grounding me for a week. Not because he heard me cursing at my video game, but because I "swear like a little girl" and it embarrassed him in front of his friends. FML

by dadyoureacunt / 09/21/2013 at 9:10am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to put up with a student who stubbornly insisted that King Solomon was, in fact, a Pokémon. FML

by madden2014 / 09/19/2013 at 6:23pm / United States (California) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was lying naked on my boyfriend's bed for the first time ever. He glanced at me, then started playing with a Rubik's cube. FML

by someone / 09/17/2013 at 12:38pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Intimacy