Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

criss90

Offline (the 01/02/2015 at 5:13am) | Search for a member

criss90

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 27 December 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1522
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

criss90's page activity

Visits<b>Edogg215</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 2:05pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 2:36pm<b>gabix3</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 1:28am<b>Devindelon</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 10:38pm<b>scottyboy417</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 2:06pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 11:42am<b>Brandi_Faith</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 3:29pm<b>xnikkilynn</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 1:06pm<b>Mikeymikey</b> - the 12/11/2009 at 1:20am

Fucked!<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 9:33pm

criss90's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of criss90's badges

criss90's favorite FMLs

Today, at Christmas dinner, my grandmother talked about the death of every single dog she ever had. All 10 of them. FML

#21323815
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29717) - you deserved it (2464)

On 12/25/2014 at 6:47am - misc - by dunn76 - United States

Today, my son got in trouble at school. The kids had to solve a problem by determining whether it was better for "Edna" to repair or replace her AC unit. He said Edna is an "old person's name" and she was "probably going to die soon anyway", so she shouldn't do either. FML

#21315591
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27496) - you deserved it (3219)

On 12/11/2014 at 1:10pm - kids - by MedStudent90 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, after Thanksgiving dinner, we all played Cards Against Humanity. On one round, I was the dealer, and I received "foreskin" as a card. When I said this, my grandmother told me that apparently, after my ritual circumcision, my grandfather buried my foreskin under our rosebushes. FML

#21307273
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28418) - you deserved it (2775)

On 11/28/2014 at 12:25am - misc - by mainlineloser (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finally got time to take a nap. Later, my mom asked me if I was depressed because I didn't leave my room for 3 hours. She talked to my dad about it, and now my family thinks I'm depressed because I slept for 3 hours. FML

#21306606
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30732) - you deserved it (2434)

On 11/27/2014 at 2:06am - misc - by Sleep. - United States (Missouri)

Today, my supervisor was watching a video of his son. I heard a voice in the background and asked if it was Elmo. It was his wife. FML

#21302177
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30734) - you deserved it (5055)

On 11/19/2014 at 3:56pm - work - by bookworm - United States (Texas)

Today, I'm old enough to be looking at houses to buy, but not old enough to get past the idea that they might be affordable because they're haunted. FML

#21300362
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26680) - you deserved it (5613)

On 11/16/2014 at 10:07pm - misc - by boo (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, a character in the video game I was playing called my character a slut. My boyfriend ripped the controller from my hands, shot him dead, then fired the rest of my ammo into his corpse while yelling "FUCK YOU, BUDDY!" Good to know I'm dating a total lunatic. FML

#21293465
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33610) - you deserved it (6473)

On 11/06/2014 at 3:15pm - love - by notsofriendly (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I managed to convince my sister that when you press down the diet button on the lid of a McDonald's cup it turns whatever is in there diet. I pressed the button and she started shouting how she hates diet drinks. She's 19. FML

#21292789
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29007) - you deserved it (3334)

On 11/05/2014 at 4:25pm - misc - by aineroo (woman) - Ireland (Galway)

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

#21282836
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32365) - you deserved it (3383)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm - work - by Australian Lifeguard - United States (Arizona)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jerking off to what I thought was porn on his phone. He was actually beating it to Siri's voice. FML

#21280577
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37130) - you deserved it (3463)

On 10/18/2014 at 5:43pm - intimacy - by fizzie101 - United States (California)

Today, I went on a blind date. My date would respond to me by saying "retweet" and "favorite" when she thought something was relatable. FML

#21261017
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40627) - you deserved it (3532)

On 09/18/2014 at 11:15pm - love - by clairebear104 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boss slapped me across the face with a raw chicken breast. FML

#21243022
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42608) - you deserved it (5142)

On 08/22/2014 at 8:05am - work - by haileelouxxx (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I tried skydiving for the first time. The professional I was attached to had a boner the whole way down. FML

#21237831
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55374) - you deserved it (5638)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:36pm - intimacy - by emmamrose7 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49318) - you deserved it (21299)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)



Juliette Bubulle's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Juliette's illustrated FML
  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

Friday 29 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: