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criss90

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criss90

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 27 December 1990 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 939
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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criss90's page activity

Visits<b>Brandi_Faith</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 3:29pm<b>xnikkilynn</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 1:06pm<b>Mikeymikey</b> - the 12/11/2009 at 1:20am

criss90's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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criss90's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jerking off to what I thought was porn on his phone. He was actually beating it to Siri's voice. FML

#21280577
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29690) - you deserved it (3019)

On 10/18/2014 at 5:43pm - intimacy - by fizzie101 - United States (California)

Today, I went on a blind date. My date would respond to me by saying "retweet" and "favorite" when she thought something was relatable. FML

#21261017
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40233) - you deserved it (3509)

On 09/18/2014 at 11:15pm - love - by clairebear104 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boss slapped me across the face with a raw chicken breast. FML

#21243022
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40429) - you deserved it (4650)

On 08/22/2014 at 8:05am - work - by haileelouxxx (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I tried skydiving for the first time. The professional I was attached to had a boner the whole way down. FML

#21237831
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50439) - you deserved it (4898)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:36pm - intimacy - by emmamrose7 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49122) - you deserved it (21239)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35131) - you deserved it (11496)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was stuck on a campus tour with my subtly racist mother who, in an attempt to seem open-minded, deemed it appropriate to refer to our black tour guide as "Sistah". FML

#21205559
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41493) - you deserved it (3612)

On 07/10/2014 at 11:32pm - misc - by look how totally not racist I am! - United States (California)

Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML

#21202372
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41463) - you deserved it (2996)

On 07/08/2014 at 12:26am - work - by MaddyN - United States (Oregon)

Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML

#21195046
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49828) - you deserved it (4167)

On 07/01/2014 at 1:31pm - love - by carebear1228 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I stubbed the same toe three times in fifteen minutes. How? My sister moved most of the furniture in the house to the left by a few inches, because she thought it would be funny to watch me get confused and suffer. FML

#21183245
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44640) - you deserved it (6539)

On 06/21/2014 at 3:57pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to see the photos of my wedding, which he didn't bother to come to. Reply: "What the fuck, are you gay or something? Keep that homo stuff to yourself." My wife started laughing so hard she was crying. FML

#21180887
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45339) - you deserved it (4712)

On 06/19/2014 at 5:05pm - love - by Fuck you, Dad. Fuck you. (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, at my first day working at Walmart, a customer asked if we have any egg cookers. I said I wasn't sure, but that I'd be "eggstatic" to go ask for him. The first clue I got to suggest he hated puns was him yelling "Don't get smart with me, boy!" and then threatening to kill me. FML

#21180841
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40960) - you deserved it (9235)

On 06/19/2014 at 4:10pm - work - by fuckmyjob (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I didn't pay enough attention while sending a music file to be used in a powerful video my class-mates and I made about the Syrian civil war. Instead of a moving classical track, viewers were shown graphic scenes of devastation to the tune of Gangnam Style. FML

#21128082
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23657) - you deserved it (34263)

On 05/01/2014 at 4:10pm - work - by Mortifiedcharityworker (woman) - Austria

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

#21113538
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52025) - you deserved it (4704)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:08am - animals - by stupiddog (man) - United States (California)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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