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crisanba

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crisanba
  • Town/Country : el cajon, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 February 1998 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 240
  • Number of comments : 82
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About crisanba : I'm pretty easy going I don't do very much and I can take a joke but I prefer to read one than be part of one. In pretty inviting of messaging from new people so if you get the idea I don't mind reading it and responding

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crisanba's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a run. Going a decent pace, I passed a woman walking her dog. I joked, "C'mon! Keep up!" Thirty feet later I stepped in mud, rolled my ankle and fell. The woman walked by as I lay in agony, and told me to keep up. FML

#20634623
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19314) - you deserved it (65608)

On 05/01/2013 at 10:27am - misc - by luvs2spooge89 - United States (New York)

Today, I overheard the guy I like talking to one of his friends about me. His friend asked if he and I were dating, to which he replied, "No way, dude. I have standards." FML

#20608351
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44667) - you deserved it (3745)

On 04/20/2013 at 7:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had a friend "dump" me over Facebook. She apparently thought we were dating. I'm a gay man who's lived with his partner for 5 years. She says I have commitment issues. FML

#20583902
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41869) - you deserved it (4302)

On 04/10/2013 at 6:17pm - love - by drama king? (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. I told my seemingly sympathetic dad everything. His advice was to lure them both to our house with the promise of a three-way, after which he'd "kill the shit" out of them. Real mature, dad. FML

#20568440
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28957) - you deserved it (4446)

On 03/31/2013 at 1:55pm - love - by immaturity all around (woman) - United States

Today, the girl I thought I was dating got into a fight with me over the phone. She did this because she bet her boyfriend that she could make me cry on FaceTime. She won the bet. FML

#20567223
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32809) - you deserved it (4902)

On 03/30/2013 at 6:22pm - love - by J. Homen - United States

Today, while making love to my wife, I felt adventurous and told her to hit me. She didn't so much as hesitate before savagely slapping me with her ring hand. Now I'm back home from the hospital, with stitches closing up a huge gash on my cheek. FML

#20124147
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10913) - you deserved it (25390)

On 10/19/2012 at 4:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Czech Republic (Jihomoravsky kraj)

Today, I have the stomach flu. If my belly growls, I have 30 seconds or less to get to the bathroom. I can't go to the doctor for fear of shitting my pants on the trip there. FML

#18392347
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22974) - you deserved it (1485)

On 11/30/2011 at 5:53am - health - by shitty day - United States

Today, I was hanging out with my crush and wanted to see what he thought of me. Instead of asking him straight, I tugged at my shirt, saying ''I don't know why I wear this top. I always look awful in it." He said, "Are you fishing for a fat joke?" FML

#14304589
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8228) - you deserved it (36230)

On 12/22/2010 at 11:35pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried talking to my boyfriend about our sex life. I was trying to express that I feel like we don't do it enough, but he wasn't very responsive. I ended up saying, "I wish you had a bigger sex drive" to which he answered, "I wish you had bigger boobs." FML

#7584154
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17473) - you deserved it (8597)

On 01/26/2010 at 1:56am - intimacy - by mairelys (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML

#4976961
407 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15128) - you deserved it (332470)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm - work - by Hairball (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML

#4156027
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50584) - you deserved it (2934)

On 07/30/2009 at 7:34am - kids - by Herdad (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML

#1617373
506 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81457) - you deserved it (222573)

On 05/04/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Iman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML

#1550059
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21114) - you deserved it (220829)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:21am - health - by breathalizard (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML

#843065
666 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26378) - you deserved it (453734)

On 04/06/2009 at 8:41pm - misc - by blovesg (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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