crisanba

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Offline (the 02/25/2016 at 5:50pm)

crisanba

5Fucked!

crisanbacrisanba
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 February 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1432
  • Number of comments : 91
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About crisanba : I'm pretty easy going I don't do very much and I can take a joke but I prefer to read one than be part of one. In pretty inviting of messaging from new people so if you get the idea I don't mind reading it and responding

crisanba's page activity

Visits<b>am1717</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 12:56am<b>Gabygonzalez9211</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 1:07pm<b>Life_sucksXx</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 6:27pm<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 2:25pm<b>flyingmind</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 11:01am<b>10220706</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 10:51am<b>sarcasticjane</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 4:22pm<b>Mons</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 2:11pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 5:30pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 10:22pm<b>CaityOlivia94</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 1:18am<b>Neut</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 3:38pm<b>HannaMD</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 10:42am<b>boboates</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 8:25am<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 9:17pm<b>DrowningLessons</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 1:03pm<b>Anais457</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 12:15pm<b>SiriusOrionBlack</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 1:36am

Fucked!<b>pro_idiot</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 10:33pm<b>Anais457</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 11:05am<b>Gabygonzalez9211</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 4:58am<b>flyingmind</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 11:51pm<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 12:37am

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crisanba's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a run. Going a decent pace, I passed a woman walking her dog. I joked, "C'mon! Keep up!" Thirty feet later I stepped in mud, rolled my ankle and fell. The woman walked by as I lay in agony, and told me to keep up. FML

by luvs2spooge89 / 05/01/2013 at 10:27am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I overheard the guy I like talking to one of his friends about me. His friend asked if he and I were dating, to which he replied, "No way, dude. I have standards." FML

by Anonymous / 04/20/2013 at 7:08pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, I had a friend "dump" me over Facebook. She apparently thought we were dating. I'm a gay man who's lived with his partner for 5 years. She says I have commitment issues. FML

by drama king? / 04/10/2013 at 6:17pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. I told my seemingly sympathetic dad everything. His advice was to lure them both to our house with the promise of a three-way, after which he'd "kill the shit" out of them. Real mature, dad. FML

by immaturity all around / 03/31/2013 at 1:55pm / United States / Love

Today, the girl I thought I was dating got into a fight with me over the phone. She did this because she bet her boyfriend that she could make me cry on FaceTime. She won the bet. FML

by J. Homen / 03/30/2013 at 6:22pm / United States / Love

Today, while making love to my wife, I felt adventurous and told her to hit me. She didn't so much as hesitate before savagely slapping me with her ring hand. Now I'm back home from the hospital, with stitches closing up a huge gash on my cheek. FML

by Anonymous / 10/19/2012 at 4:54pm / Czech Republic (Jihomoravsky kraj) / Intimacy

Today, I have the stomach flu. If my belly growls, I have 30 seconds or less to get to the bathroom. I can't go to the doctor for fear of shitting my pants on the trip there. FML

by shitty day / 11/30/2011 at 5:53am / United States / Health

Today, I was hanging out with my crush and wanted to see what he thought of me. Instead of asking him straight, I tugged at my shirt, saying ''I don't know why I wear this top. I always look awful in it." He said, "Are you fishing for a fat joke?" FML

by Anonymous / 12/22/2010 at 11:35pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I tried talking to my boyfriend about our sex life. I was trying to express that I feel like we don't do it enough, but he wasn't very responsive. I ended up saying, "I wish you had a bigger sex drive" to which he answered, "I wish you had bigger boobs." FML

by mairelys / 01/26/2010 at 1:56am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML

by Hairball / 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm / United States (South Carolina) / Work

Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML

by Herdad / 07/30/2009 at 7:34am / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML

by Iman / 05/04/2009 at 2:12am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML

by breathalizard / 05/02/2009 at 2:21am / United States (North Dakota) / Health

Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML

by blovesg / 04/06/2009 at 8:41pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous