crisanba

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Offline (the 02/25/2016 at 5:50pm)

crisanba

5Fucked!

crisanbacrisanba
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 February 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1427
  • Number of comments : 91
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About crisanba : I'm pretty easy going I don't do very much and I can take a joke but I prefer to read one than be part of one. In pretty inviting of messaging from new people so if you get the idea I don't mind reading it and responding

crisanba's page activity

Visits<b>am1717</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 12:56am<b>Gabygonzalez9211</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 1:07pm<b>Life_sucksXx</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 6:27pm<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 2:25pm<b>flyingmind</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 11:01am<b>10220706</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 10:51am<b>sarcasticjane</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 4:22pm<b>Mons</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 2:11pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 5:30pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 10:22pm<b>CaityOlivia94</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 1:18am<b>Neut</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 3:38pm<b>HannaMD</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 10:42am<b>boboates</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 8:25am<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 9:17pm<b>DrowningLessons</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 1:03pm<b>Anais457</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 12:15pm<b>SiriusOrionBlack</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 1:36am

Fucked!<b>pro_idiot</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 10:33pm<b>Anais457</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 11:05am<b>Gabygonzalez9211</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 4:58am<b>flyingmind</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 11:51pm<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 12:37am

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crisanba's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in my room playing with my pet. I told my snake, "Who needs friends when I have you?" Through the wall I heard my neighbors say, "You do." I've never met my neighbors. FML

by Where is the faith in Humanity / 11/07/2013 at 6:08pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, was my wedding day. We had a beautiful outdoor wedding and everything was going perfectly as planned. That is, until a bird flew over us and left a present right between my boobs. I had to stand at the altar for 30 minutes as bird poop melted in my cleavage. FML

by NewBride / 08/14/2013 at 1:39pm / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received a lemon in a box in the mail. I didn't know from who it was, nor how he or she knows my address. There was a note on it: "When life gives you lemons, date me." FML

Today, because I refused to shave off what my wife calls my "pedo 'stache", she painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van. FML

by Anonymous / 07/28/2013 at 12:59am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I attempted some bondage for the first time. Within seconds of the handcuffs being put on, I went into a serious panic attack. I was playing the dominant; my girlfriend was the one in cuffs. FML

by vanillaforme / 07/27/2013 at 7:07pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I realised that I can tell my 6 cats apart by the sound of their paws on the carpet. I think I need friends. FML

by Anonymous / 07/25/2013 at 8:13pm / South Africa / Transportation

Today, I helped my buddy write a sweet love letter to his girlfriend. After reading it, she dumped him for being an "Edward Cullen wannabe", and when my girlfriend found out, she dumped me for "cheating" on her by writing the letter in the first place. FML

by ........................... / 07/25/2013 at 12:17pm / Mexico (Distrito Federal) / Love

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my family. Over the next hour, a huge religious debate erupted, and my grandfather drunkenly told us all how he almost killed himself once while experimenting with auto-erotic asphyxiation. My boyfriend called us all crazy and seems to have dumped me. FML

by fuck family / 07/17/2013 at 4:13pm / Poland (Dolnoslaskie) / Love

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us. She said, "Fuck the green car" and sped up, colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. FML

by Anonymous / 07/14/2013 at 11:40pm / United States (Maryland) / Transportation

Today, I held a house party. For fun, I made sure all the beer was alcohol-free, so I could see which of my friends would be weak-minded enough to end up acting drunk. Three did. I was one of them. FML

by scheisse / 07/14/2013 at 5:25pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Miscellaneous

Today, my naked boyfriend walked up to me with my towel around his neck and with a hard-on, then declared he was "The Penis Man" and slapped me with his junk. I thought I was dating a man, not a man-child. FML

by peniswoman / 07/14/2013 at 1:03pm / United Kingdom (Renfrewshire) / Intimacy

Today, while having a serious talk with my father, he said, "Son, you're only alive because of a faulty, off-brand condom." FML

by my honest father / 07/10/2013 at 12:33pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I held a party for my family so I could announce my pregnancy. In the middle of my speech, my mother stopped me, saying, "Nobody gives a rat's ass, where's the booze?" FML

Today, my girlfriend announced to everyone at dinner that she was no longer a virgin. This was news to everyone: her parents, siblings, best friend, and me. FML

by Anonymous / 06/23/2013 at 2:55am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, my wife made me moist cat food burgers as a prank. I didnt have the heart to tell her that they tasted better than the ones she usually makes. FML

by kittybad / 06/23/2013 at 1:05am / United States / Miscellaneous