About crisanba : I'm pretty easy going I don't do very much and I can take a joke but I prefer to read one than be part of one. In pretty inviting of messaging from new people so if you get the idea I don't mind reading it and responding
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crisanba's favorite FMLs
by Where is the faith in Humanity / 11/07/2013 at 6:08pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, was my wedding day. We had a beautiful outdoor wedding and everything was going perfectly as planned. That is, until a bird flew over us and left a present right between my boobs. I had to stand at the altar for 30 minutes as bird poop melted in my cleavage. FML
by NewBride / 08/14/2013 at 1:39pm / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous
by YayItsYasmine / 08/14/2013 at 12:48pm / Austria (Karnten) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/28/2013 at 12:59am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend and I attempted some bondage for the first time. Within seconds of the handcuffs being put on, I went into a serious panic attack. I was playing the dominant; my girlfriend was the one in cuffs. FML
by vanillaforme / 07/27/2013 at 7:07pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/25/2013 at 8:13pm / South Africa / Transportation
Today, I helped my buddy write a sweet love letter to his girlfriend. After reading it, she dumped him for being an "Edward Cullen wannabe", and when my girlfriend found out, she dumped me for "cheating" on her by writing the letter in the first place. FML
by ........................... / 07/25/2013 at 12:17pm / Mexico (Distrito Federal) / Love
Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my family. Over the next hour, a huge religious debate erupted, and my grandfather drunkenly told us all how he almost killed himself once while experimenting with auto-erotic asphyxiation. My boyfriend called us all crazy and seems to have dumped me. FML
by fuck family / 07/17/2013 at 4:13pm / Poland (Dolnoslaskie) / Love
Today, I was teaching my daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us. She said, "Fuck the green car" and sped up, colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. FML
by Anonymous / 07/14/2013 at 11:40pm / United States (Maryland) / Transportation
Today, I held a house party. For fun, I made sure all the beer was alcohol-free, so I could see which of my friends would be weak-minded enough to end up acting drunk. Three did. I was one of them. FML
by scheisse / 07/14/2013 at 5:25pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Miscellaneous
Today, my naked boyfriend walked up to me with my towel around his neck and with a hard-on, then declared he was "The Penis Man" and slapped me with his junk. I thought I was dating a man, not a man-child. FML
by peniswoman / 07/14/2013 at 1:03pm / United Kingdom (Renfrewshire) / Intimacy
by my honest father / 07/10/2013 at 12:33pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
by opherehehhehe / 06/25/2013 at 12:04am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/23/2013 at 2:55am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
by kittybad / 06/23/2013 at 1:05am / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for… Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the… Today, while making love to my boyfriend for the first time, I moaned his name. He freaked out over…